Part 8: I Need A Secondary Heart, Because My First One Broke
Mission 8: I Need a Secondary Heart, Because My First One Broke.
Go for it, man, ask her out!
What, really? Like THIS? Dude, my bi-dar has been pinging like crazy ever since the meld experiments. I think having your DNA scrambled makes your Kinsey spectrum explode. …which means if this war isn’t over soon, in the next few months this base will be Bone City… Okay, but wouldn’t you be offended if I got lucky while looking like you? I could only take it as a compliment. Live a little, man. Think of that hot bod as my gift to you. Ah, here!
Where the hell is the commander? He’s never in the office.
What is it? AAH! Viewscreen. Okay. I want a scifi movie night every week, sir! I’ve got a big collection of fantasy/sf movies and we could show ‘em all in the Officer Training Room, it’s already an amphitheater. Huh, that would be good for morale, I guess… Morale nothing, they’re training videos. Aliens with mental powers are invading. Fantasy has become reality! We need to get everyone ready for how to react when an evil shapeshifter holds your friend hostage and you don’t know how to tell who’s who, stuff like that. Heh. You make a good point. What’s your favorite of the stack? Willow. WILLOW?
More abductions. SHIT. Let’s save Russia, we abandoned Europe last time. Christ, this balancing act…
Holy shit, Naomi, you’re huge. You could probably pulp a Sectoid with one hand.
That’s the idea. Oh, what the hell is this? Get the hell off the lineup, Zinchenko, we have rookies who can shoot better than you!
Awww, I wanted to see Moscow again…
So does someone else! Eva, you’re up.
Hello! Nice to work with you all.
So, Eva, what quirks do you have? What makes you stand out from the crowd? …what do you look like under that helmet? I’ll…tell you later. It’s a little embarrassing. We’re here.
Please don’t step on my feet, Naomi. Don’t worry. I’m much more agile than I look.
We’re in some kind of big warehouse area…I’ll take to the roof. Meld spotted… Hey, rookie, you gotten exposed to meld yet? Hooooo, yes. Damn, I was gonna make you get it. Everyone, stay close to me if you can. My suit can project a distortion field, if you’re in cover near it, it’ll warp your image slightly. I will protect you all. Moving up…
Contact! A new type of alien…some kind of…cyborg…floaters!
Shit! Watkins, get in the office beneath me, try to get around them! Okay!
Da fuck?!
ALIEN MECHANICAL OCTOPUS!
Incredible locomotion design…be careful, if it’s as agile as it looks shooting it will be difficult.
They just…vanished! They’re invisible! Aww, shit. But remember, if it bleeds, we can kill it. They’re ROBOTS! If it doesn’t bleed, we can’t kill it? No, that’s not right…
Incredible power! I could cut a wall in half with a hail of bullets!
Dashing to cover! TESTOSTERONE! Keep up, rookie!
No, no! Get off! AUGGHgggggggg…help……
Floater down! Quick, get that damn thing off her!
I got it!
It’s not dead yet! Get…away…! 
Everyone okay? Cam, you all right? Yeah…throat’s healing itself…damn, I’m glad I got gene modded. Oh, yes, excuse me. What they said earlier raises an interesting point. Sergeant Van Doorn called you “her.” Do you prefer male or female pronouns? Whatever. As long as I look like this, female pronouns are fine, everyone’s just gonna get tripped up otherwise.
Be careful…there’s one more of those things out there…somewhere… What about you, Allen? Eh, I’m still more used to lady pronouns. Yay, we’re all girls! *eyeroll* Allen, take point. Right! TESTOSTERONE! 
FUCK! FUCK! More floaters and I’m on the wrong side of this box! I’m flanked! Get me outta here!
Perfect sniping position…yeah!
Gimme a sec and I’ll get the other one! There’s no time! Taking a shot at the other one! 71%, please hit!
DAMN! I missed the other one, someone kill that thing before it kills—
Allen! NOOO!
NONONONONONO! Auuuggh, this isn’t right, this isn’t right! I’m not ready for this! Piece of shit, I’m gonna blow its fucking head off!
No, Hilda, look out, behind you!
NO! HELP! AGGGGGGgggggg… HILDA! I’ll save you!
MURDERER! DIE, you ANT!
RRAAAAAAHH!
Ggggggg… I got it, I got it! Hold still!
There! Can you breathe? Hakk…yes…thank you… is Allen…?
Okay, Allen, you can get up now. ... Not funny! I know you can regenerate just like me! We’ve all seen the end to the Avengers where it looks like Iron Man dies, it’s not funny, wake up! We’ve got a punchline all set up where you say you “took it like a man.” ... COME ON! CAROL! You don’t want to fucking die looking like me! That’s stupid! WAKE UP, CAROL! We spent too much money on you for you to die! Cam…let go. NO, dammit! Carol, you’re the funny one, and a better killer than me, too! You’re supposed to keep us all motivated! You’ve been with us from the beginning! You can’t die! I…*sob*to be continued…