Part 46: Goodbye, EXALT!

Part 46: Goodbye, EXALT!





This is the most powerful man-portable weapon we can devise, and it’s something the aliens have never deployed: a projectile weapon that uses their alloy as shards.
Human ingenuity, I love it! And I’ve got just the thing to test it out on now.



We have confirmed that the location of the EXALT base is within South Africa.
We’re fighting the bad guys from District 9?!
We’re fighting the bad guys from Lethal Weapon 2?!
You Watkinses are weird.
No, no, the South African government does not approve of or endorse EXALT and has given us permission to raid the base. They’re corporate, remember?



Commander, how did you find this out? We haven’t eliminated enough possible countries yet.
Well… I cheated. There are certain… actions I am forbidden from taking. I signed a very large legal document when the treaty was written to activate the XCOM project. But the Council has notified us that the mission to safeguard human life does not extend to EXALT, so I’m using that loophole.
You still didn’t say what you did.
You mutants, cyborgs and psychics aren’t the only ones with alien superpowers. There was an accident. I don’t want to talk about it. It’s a little something left over from the original invasion in the 1960s, something that Vahlen can’t replicate, and I used it to get this information. I’ll tell you more… some other time.
I see…



Since EXALT has a disease they can give to our soldiers, perhaps now would be a good time to overwhelm them with our ROBOT ARMY!!!
YEAH! Robot army!
I can get behind that!
…tempting, but no.
Aww, why?
You psychics need to exercise your brains and these idiots are safer to practice against than charging berserkers or chrysalids. I want you to be able to totally crush alien minds from within when the time comes.
Besides, you should already have the antibodies for “meld flu” by now.



Yoko, you didn’t change your face?
Not yet. I’ll get the new DNA to celebrate once we’ve finished off EXALT once and for all.
Holy cow, this shotgun is so powerful they couldn’t even test it properly. The shards just went straight through four concrete barriers. Cam, never EVER point this in the direction of anything if you want it to live.
Mom, I know about muzzle discipline. Jeez.



I can’t believe it. We’re really going to finish them off! Oh, I’ve been waiting for this ever since they kidnapped me and stuffed me in that van.
I want these guys gone too, but it might not be that exciting. They’re just radicalized office workers.
You don’t understand. There is nothing more uncaring, more brutal, than a huge machine that treats living beings as replaceable parts. That is a corporate entity. That is what we’re facing. None of the individual EXALT people seem like they’re a threat on their own, but what’s the true threat is their mentality. None of them claim individual responsibility for bad behavior, so the entire group gets away with bad behavior.
A hive mind that treats living people like machines… just like what the aliens do.
This is all fascinating, but I seriously hope one of them asks for diplomatic immunity. I will shoot him in the head and say it’s just been revoked.



Mom, I know you love that movie, but c’mon.
It’s got a tough black cop shooting a corrupt rich white old man in the head and getting away with it in the end. He doesn’t even get demoted or jailed or anything! That is the ultimate dream.
Oh. Well, when you put it like that…



That does sound like a pretty satisfying revenge fantasy. And a lot of us here are for revenge in one way or another.
It’s going to be a revenge reality pretty soon!
Sure is!



Okay, we’re here. No alarms, so—
Welcome, XCOM.
Fuck.
Your commander was too unsubtle in uncovering our base. Of course I knew you were coming. I know him and everything he’s capable of.
Fuck you talking about? (Mom, Yoko, set up on the central doors. The rest of us around the sides, through the windows. Pincer action. Annette and Eva to the left, me and Gomez to the right.)



What’s going on? There was a sound like a helicopter overhead…
That was not a helicopter. I smell jet fumes. That was a VTOL.
And I smell… perfume. French perfume. Oh, shit, her brand!



Intruder alert!!!
They spotted me! Quick, flank them!



Oh my God. Endangered animal skins? Leather couches? Rare books? Fucking… marble busts?
It looks like EXALT prefers form over function. Not exactly a winning strategy.
Not just rich assholes but wasteful rich assholes.



I’m covering our side with smoke!



And I’m charging right through the goddamn window!



Oh shit! Not the mama bear!
You’re goddamn right!



Guuugh!
Haha! Got blood on your stupid Stalin bust!



Hey, aren’t you that white Belgian girl? Why’d you make yourself look Arabic—
SHUT IT!



Ha! I sweat healing gel!



Though I do need to clean the blood off my tie… there!
Asshole, you’re supposed to use that shit on US when WE get wounded!
(He has no idea we are standing right behind him, huh?)
(Such an idiot…)



They have a throne room. With a skull in a jar next to a holo-globe.
That is both stupid and completely awesome. Do they have a cat? I bet he has a cat.
I don’t see the leader.
Perhaps you are wondering: “How did I get this technology? How was I able to detect your commander?” It’s simple. HE wasn’t the only survivor of the original XCOM. Heh heh heh. There were others. He was an accidental recruit. Someone who merely lucked into getting the assignment, into wielding more power than he knew what to do with. I was much more than he ever was. EXALT is the true descendant of XCOM, because I am the only true member of XCOM left.



Enemy medic down! Eva, go!



AIE!
Shit, they’re all around us!



Enemy assault down. Just the sniper left over here. And his aim is worse than Zinchenko’s!



Aaaaugh! You bitch! You shot my shoulder!
I hope it hurt, you monster.



Crap! Three more guys by the throne!



Latisha, please move your head ten centimeters to the left.
Oh SHIT!



Glaubbb…
God DAMN it! You almost gave me a new ear piercing! Or ritual cheek-scarring.
Trust me! I was very precise!



Well, now we’ve got no cover so I’m ghost-nading us!



Foolish XCOM. Each of these men is willing to give up their lives for me.
Wait, what? We are?
What do we do?! Director! Answer me!
Gentlemen, understand this. The work we have done was a labor of love. Love for humanity. Love for each other. Love for a brighter future. A love that will last… forever.
What the fuck are you talking about?!
Do you know what it means to “exalt” something? It is to place something higher than the rest. And what have you exalted? Me. I am so very grateful to you all, for your sacrifice.
Oh, god, he’s bugged out on us!



GAUGH!
HA HA! I never moved from the doorway!
Fucking… camper…



DAMN it feels good to get shit done. You feel it too, doc?
I do!



MIND BLAST!
Blauughh…



Hey, let me try! I’m feeling pretty juiced-up!
Aww, shit! I don’t wanna get brain-reamed!



Three more guys to the rear! Watch out!



Then we’d better thin their numbers, fast!
BLAUGH!
Cam, can you mindblast at least one of them? They might be out of range of your shotgun.
I’ll see!



Three more spotted to the rear, outside on the roof! Help!



Seven total. We can do this.



FUCK EVERYTHING! I have a rocket launcher. YOU DIE!
AUGH!
AOOOWWW!
Not in the base!
FUCK the base! FUCK the mission! The director’s abandoned us!



Everyone shoot the cyborg!
Augh! AUGH!



H… help!



You monsters! I won’t let you hurt anyone else! I WON’T!



YAAAA! TAKE THAT!
God DAMN it! FUCK YOU TOO, BLACK RUSSIAN!
Don’t you watch television? I’m a KNIGHT!



Ahhh ha! Yes! She blew off all their cover! We can take them!



No… mommmyyyyy…



Can’t even see them through all that smoke… running closer!
I can’t hit her! She’s everywhere!
Then SHOOT everywhere!



You bastards!



Ha! I live!



Check again.
Assshooooollllee…



Taking one out…



…and now I’m retreating to spray the healing gel on myself. Sorry!
That’s fine, doc, don’t push yourself too hard for our sakes.



HOLD STILL! Why can’t I hit you!?
Are you standing on a tiger skin? I love big cats! How could you do that?!



Keep your head on a swivel! Cam, there’s one right behind you! I’ll get him!



I never got to tell Fred… I loved him…



This is for all the people you treated like animals, and all the animals you treated like THINGS!
But… I was… going to be… rich… and powerful…



Hide behind cover all you like, I’ll blow you up with my HEAD!
Nnnnarrgghhh… no… killed by a lime-headed freak…



Yoko! You’re bleeding.
I’ll be fine… heh… you’re standing on a little fire. That Titan armor really does work…
You’re delirious. Hang on!



Like they said in that one movie. “I don’t have time to bleed.”
God DAMN IT! Am I really the only one left? NO!



DIE, Watkins!
Ouch. Heh. This is nothing. I’ve had every single finger blown off at least once. I’ve sucked down a gallon of Thin Man poison. I’ve had my entire DNA replaced with someone else’s who HERSELF had her whole DNA fucked with. There’s nothing you can do to kill me, and there’s a million ways I can kill you.
Shit!
Or you could surrender and we put you in prison. What else are you gonna do, claim diplomatic immunity?
Uh… uh… Yeah! That’s it! You can’t touch me! I’m the last one! That makes me in charge by default! Yeah! It’s ILLEGAL to shoot me! Diplomatic immunity!



It’s just been revoked!





By now, you must know that these are merely pre-recorded messages. I am injecting one final vial of meld into myself. You will never know who I am or what my appearance will be. But these traits I’ve spliced into myself will let me survive the coming conflagration that will consume our world.



All governments will fall. I’ve seen it. But I will rise. Humanity’s best will live on, through me. Goodbye, EXALT. And goodbye, XCOM.



You got him to say the words. For me. You are the best kid ever.
Heh. Well, early birthday gift. He wouldn’t have surrendered for reals anyway, they all have those suicide pills.



So we’ll never get their leader? Or know who he was?
Won’t need to. He’s a walking dead man. He said he spliced a zillion traits into himself. Something Vahlen discovered is that the traits EXALT uses… they’re not meant to be permanent. They cause horrible damage if left activated forever. He’ll die of four kinds of cancer inside a month.
Is it true that he was once a part of the old XCOM?
It’s possible. There’s at least one guy I knew from the old Bureau who turned out to be a real asshole…



Thinking-powers… getting stronger! I think I can make others think what I think!
Me too! This is amazing!
See? I told you! Now we have only one question.



What the hell are we going to do with all this priceless art?
Dibs on the skull-throne!

To Be Continued!