Part 51: Episode XLIX: Hammer’s Ludicrous Abilities
Episode XLIX: Hammer’s Ludicrous Abilities
Hmm... Now where were we? Let’s see...the martial artist fugitive, a mutant wrestler attempted Kaiser assassin, a country doctor, a military deserter druggie, and a rodent merchant waltzed into a top secret facility and hijacked an Ace Combat super weapon. What else...?
Music: Grahf, Emperor of Darkness
Oh yes, Grahf was ghost-riding his Gear straight towards them. Can’t forget that. Well then, let’s get on with the Act 2 finale then, shall we?
”You know him?”
“Yeah. He keeps showing up like a dick and rambling on about POWER and how he killed my dad and then he makes me fight giant sand worms or gives mid-bosses a second form and crap. Getting kinda annoying.” "So that's a big 'N-O' to that earlier question about you knowing any normal people...?"Fei runs off...
"Fei, where are you going!?"
"I'm going out with the Gear..." "Fei!"
*shrugs and walks off* “Yeah, whatever... Not like I got anything better to do either...”
"M, Master!?"Elly runs after Fei...
Welp, looks like we’re finally going to fight Grahf. Or he’s going to just monologue at us and make Goliath crash. Either way, up to the wing of the ship we go...
*snicker* “Nice parachute pants. I can feel your power. Obviously I can’t touch this.”
"The Goliath wasn't built for you to use. You must remain on this land a little longer. I can't allow you to leave..."
”No, Grahf. SCREW that. I am so sick of this land that you don’t even know. Now hop in your Gear and let’s get to hammer time.” “...” “Or not. Just makes it easier for us to finally shut you up.”
”Come on, seriously. Knock it off and fight for real. This is silly. Rico, isn’t this silly?” “I have no idea what in the hell is going on here... Who is this guy...?”
”Uhhh...?”
”Holy freakin’ shit WHAT?!” “...’kay. No longer feeling bad about a man vs. Gear fight here...”
So we’re now facing Grahf. On foot. The Demon of Elru isn’t the only one that can kick the shit out of Gears without a Gear. Grahf only has two attacks. One is leaping into the air and throwing about a half dozen Hadokens at a single Gear for 2500-3000 HP of damage each time.
He can also just plain dash over and start kung fu kicking the stuffing out of a Gear’s ankle for a good 1500-2000 HP of damage a piece too.
That said, this fight is impossible to fail. Grahf has 10000+ HP, but a single heavy attack takes off 1500+ by our Gears just stepping on him. And Gears cannot perform Deathblows on on-foot sized enemies, so that’s pretty much our only means of attack. So it’s pretty much an endurance match to see who can output the most damage first. But, like I said, it’s impossible to fail this battle. That’s because Grahf is a gentleman and will only target Weltall and Stier. Indeed, if both of those Gears fall and Elly is the only one left standing, he’ll just end the fight in a forfeit. Weird...
“If that's the case then..."
”Eh? Kinda busy right now, doc!”
Despite nobody listening to Citan’s advice, the good doctor proceeds to shift the Goliath quickly to the side. Rico, Vierge, and Stier are all planted firmly on the wing so they’re able to hang on...
The poor guy in super baggy pants with his giant robot parked on hover in a smug pose? Not so much. Alright, I’ll give that one to Citan. That’s a pretty hilarious way to deal with Grahf’s usual Gear ghost-riding antics.
“Master Citan!! It's alright to throw the black creep, but bro and Master Rico as well...?"
"If it is them, they are okay. Nevermind that, Hammer, go to that trigger!"
"You must fire. Look, it is coming." ?
Looks like that was only a temporary fix to the Grahf pest problem...
"Hammer! Calm down and concentrate. It is heading straight at us. All you have to do is aim well, pull the trigger and fire." *stops running around and grabs the controls* "Aiming..."
"Good, keep it there and do not move your aim. Get ready to fire in..."
Hammer Time! Break it down!
Music: Silence
“I just might be a genius!” “...” *looks around* “...Wha? By the way, what's up with bro and the gang? You don't think they fell off?"Hammer thinks for a moment and assumes a smug pose and nods. Meanwhile Rico lumbers up behind him...
“It should be a piece o' cake with me around. Right, Master, sir?"
Welp. Everyone is just fine. That was a very silly fight. But at least we’re rid of Grahf for a while. Assuming no angry Red Gears show up to throw battleships at us, I think we’re home free. Of course...this is Fei we’re talking about...
Fei wanders over to speak to Citan...
"Are you thinking of that man in black? Thinking about him will not get you anywhere. First of all, it is not like you..." ”There isn’t anything wrong with thinking about Johnny Cash. But it’s not that, doc...” "It's not that. It's not like... It's like this feeling of uneasiness that I've had before..." "You too!? Well, to tell the truth, I am getting a terrible feeling of déjà vu..." "And I feel like we're being watched..." ”Something stupid is gonna happen again, isn’t it, doc?” “No need to be so pessimistic, Fei. I’m sure the feeling will pass...”Meanwhile, down below something stupid is happening...
“It's huge... It appears to be a...”
“Crap... they're taking revenge! Bet they're going to bomb Bledavik!
Oh hey, it’s Bart and the Sand Pirates. Remember those guys from forever ago? I guess they’re not all dead. Or buried underground. That’s nice, I suppose. I barely remember the plot before Kislev... It’s been so long...
Music: Leftovers of the Dreams of the Strong
"Gunner!"
“Gungany... No, Bart Missile, fueling! It'll take fifteen seconds from opening the hatch to engage the illuminator!” "Franz!"
"I don't hear anything other than the surface wind waves and our engine. Threat is minimal from looking at the radar and sonar." "Here we go! BattCon level 1!"An alarm sounds... Maison and Sigurd shuffle into the bridge soon thereafter...
"Y, young master! What is happening? What was the alarm all about...?"
“Blow the main tank! Prepare for anti-aircraft battle upon surfacing!"
"Just doesn't know when to give up..." "Y, young master! The Gungany Missiles... You need permission from more than a half of the crew members to..." "Surface-combat! Stand by with the anti-aircraft guns. Gunner! Give me the trigger for the Bart Missiles!" ”Young master, remember what happened last time you indiscriminately fired on an enemy craft?” “Yeah. I got a new bro to hang out with. Sure he had some really questionable tastes in regards to furry creatures and it sucks he got killed or whatever. But I’d say it went well otherwise. Alright then. Let’s do this thing!”
It looks like the Yggdrasil is back in working order. And has been converted into a proper submarine... Sure, why not?
And we cannot have a Bart re-introduction without him fucking up Fei’s day. So here we go!
Back on the Goliath...
"Oh, it's nothing." "Okay... I'm glad... Anyway, Citan, is it okay? We're flying in such a large ship. What if Kislev or Aveh finds us..." "We are fine. I thought ahead and picked a course over the sea. There are not any military units stationed out here. Even then, this thing is not something that will go down so easily..." ”Hey, doc! Don’t say crap like that. You’re gonna jinx us!”The Goliath immediately shudders and alarms start sounding...
”God...DAMMMMMMMMMIIIIIITTTT!!!!!!!” "Enemies!?" ”Who is it now? Grahf again? Those Gebler lamers? No offense, Elly. Maybe a flying dinosaur? Oh, I know. A sky worm! I don’t even care anymore...” "I do not know. But I did not think they would be submerged here..." "Are we okay!?" "...Unfortunately, there is no way we can avoid descending. Fei, Elly, get out first. I will follow later." "But..." "We have no time for a debate now, Fei!! Do you think you have the skills needed to keep the Goliath in the air as long as possible!?" "..." ”Point taken. C’mon, Elly. Green dude, you’re gonna have to pack Hammer in with you or something.” "Then hurry up and get out. Now then..."Fei and Elly run off...
"...And you too, Hammer! You are going too!" "Y, yy, yessir!!" "Argh! Quit dawdling. We're going." "Yessir!!"The mutant duo wanders off...
*adjusts screen* "!! That ship... Sigurd... I think you need to rethink your method of disciplining..."Meanwhile...
“Even Kislev's prototype can't stand up to it!!" “...” "...Uh, hey..."
"S-stay back... Keep away!!"
And so, now making it some kind of a bizarre tradition, Act 2 draws to a close with Bartholomew Fatima once again having a giant vehicle of war dropped on his head. Sure...why not?
Grahf Attacks
Grahf Concept Art