Part 8: Reshef of Destruction part 3Reshef of Destruction part 3
We're back after a bit of an unintentional break and being genuinely happy about the conclusion of the current Yu-Gi-Oh season! But now it's back to this. Mokuba's available to duel now. In case you've never faced him in a video game before, he is the biggest joke opponent of all time. Like, you have to lose duels to unlock him in other games.
Anyhow! A random catacomb in Italy it is. Why not a random catacomb in Japan? Who knows, Mega Man and Digimon have pulled the whole "pointless world tour" thing, I won't complain about it here.
Just inside are an elderly couple who have never heard of dueling and think we want to sing. Pretty amusing, actually.
And...Bonz? Seriously? I didn't know he was Italian. And yet he speaks decent enough English. Or Japanese. Or-- yeah enough of that.
Bonz knows something about the catacombs we want to know, but he won't spill it without a duel, as usual.
His zombie monsters are mostly Fiend attribute, except for the clowns. They're Dream attribute for some reason. Pumpking the King of Ghosts is Forest attribute, but he's never gonna summon it.
Then there's this. 1500 attack points for every card in my hand. Maximum of 11,500.
After the duel, Keith shows up basically just to taunt us. Flew all the way to Italy for that, did he?
He's made minions out of the Ghouls, in spite of the fact that in Sacred Cards you can find him in a building you have no idea you can enter, re-match him, and maybe convince him to change his ways. But I guess that's not canon.
Arkana, too? These guys really can't turn their lives around. So Keith tells us what we're looking for isn't here. Like he knows where it actually is.
Bonz knows where to find it, though.
Thanks, Bonz! You're a pretty cool guy despite the zombie face.
Another Millenium Guardian. This one suffers from a very bad AI problem.
You can see that he has me cornered with that Thunder Dragon, which has 1600 attack points and the Thunder attribute.
He then TRIBUTES IT for a Succubus Knight, a monster with a whopping FIFTY POINTS MORE than the Thunder Dragon. It then rams its face into my Dream monster, the attribute it's WEAK AGAINST. I mean, the AI cannot "see" your face-down cards, but come on, there was no reason to throw out Thunder Dragon just for fifty extra points!
With that out of the way, I set up the usual comboes. Not sure if I should feel bad about winning that one because the AI messed up, but we move on regardless.
We get an interesting prize card. Toad Master's effect is to summon Frog the Jam, a monster with way more history and background than a simple frog slime deserves. 700 attack points and no effect, and yet people use him in the TCG, it's hilarious.
Uh-oh, the Millenium Ring! Hope the spirit inside doesn't possess anyone!
Actually he doesn't appear in this game at all outside this one single cameo and the post-game. Did I mention there's post-game?
Item number four is located in a foreign country yet again, but, uh, we have business to take care of first.
See, this game has a really bullshit sidequest, but to start it, you have to duel Mai Valentine. (I think so, anyways. I was gonna duel her anyhow, though.)
Just like before, use Forest and Water monsters to knock her birds out of the sky, whatever attribute they're weak against.
Defeat her, then head to the game shop to find Duke and Tristan dueling.
Yes, they did in fact make a card based on Konami's Gradius game. Of course someone forgot to inform whoever was in charge of translating the cards that "Gradius" isn't the name of the ship, it's the name of the planet it defends. The ship is called "Vic Viper".
Apparently, the two were dueling over who gets a chance to ask Joey's little sister out on a date. Yep, that's Tristan and Duke: Anime love triangle comic relief, though it's mostly a trait shown only in the filler season.
So then Serenity shows up, and Duke wastes no time working his magic.
Pack it up, gentlemen, she's not into boys! Or she might just be too young for the whole love thing, haven't decided yet.
...Okay you know what, I figured these were just going to be filler scenes, but now I'm genuinely interested. This is sure to be a trainwreck.
Let's head back to Mai Valentine and see if Tristan and Duke manage to last long enough for us to get there before they lose.
Uh...my mistake, she seems to have taken advantage of the situation and forced them to swab the deck! This just got very amusing.
They ask what all the cleaning has to do with dueling, so she suggests a "training quest" to get rid of them. Now where would they train? Besides a literal train, that is.
Kaiba Corporation! Duh! Anyone could figure out that's where to go next for this series of scenes.
Ah, they want to train on the Duel Computer. They must know you can farm it for Bear Traps, I guess.
...Or not. Oh man, I wish you could spectate these duels like you can in some of the other games!
Ooooh, I wish I knew a good GLaDOS joke.
"Well done. Here come the test results. 'You are a horrible duelist.' That's what it says! A horrible duelist! We weren't even TESTING for that!"
What do you mean? There isn't some kind of horrible ranking system like Forbidden Memories has.
We head back to the game shop and Joey asks Serenity what we're all wondering now.
Oh right, she just thinks Joey's asking about friends.
No incest jokes please, this is not Fire Emblem.
Duke and Tristan are promptly told to shove off, and everything goes back to normal.
So what was the point of all that? These four scenes unlock a sidequest. HOWEVER. If you get the fourth Millenium Item and you haven't viewed all these scenes? You lose access to the sidequest ENTIRELY. The sidequest doesn't even happen until after you get the SIXTH Millenium Item! I mean it's not a sidequest of critical importance, but geez!
So it's off to China, where someone has set up a noodle stand on the Great Wall. Great location for it.
Joey points out that there's something weird about these guys if you attempt to challenge them. Maybe you noticed already just by their sprites. Or you may have noticed they always talk in rhymes.
They turn out to be the Paradox Brothers, a pair of one-off villains from the Duelist Kingdom tournament, and apparently they're under new employment. They're fan-favorites for challenging Yugi and Joey to the first Tag Duel of the series, and they do the same thing with the main characters of Yu-Gi-Oh! GX.
The mosnters to watch out for here are Fiend and Forest attribute monsters. The computers are starting to get stronger cards. Oh, and that Darkness field might hurt your Light monsters, since most of mine are Fairy-type.
Now let's see what the reward for this vic-
FIVE HUNDRED EIGHTY-FIVE?! You think a one-tribute defensive wall is worth FIVE HUNDRED EIGHTY-FIVE CAPACITY?! How in the HELL do I even get my Duelist Level that high?! It would take WELL OVER ONE THOUSAND DUELS! The card dies in one hit to any Wind monster no matter how high its stats are! And you know what, this is the highest-costing card in Sacred Cards, but not in this game. There's WORSE!
With Para defeated, Dox does several backflips into the scene. Oh no, there's two of them now! Whatever shall we do?!
How about a surprise appearance by Seto Kaiba?!
Seriously, what the hell is he doing here?
I choose to duel Dox, which looks pretty bad considering he has Jurai Gumo there. No tributes, 2200 attack points, Forest attribute...
...but my Flame Swordsman is gonna heat things up!
...dunno why I chose that line, of all things...
I guess they don't have any Shadow monsters?
Oh, good animation!
Okay, bullshit. Nothing YOU did helped me in MY duel, since this isn't a tag battle, and even if you WEREN'T here, I have two...ACQUAINTANCES, let's say, following me around like lovesick puppies. You don't suppose THEY could have dueled in your place, do you?!
Oh wait, they just stand around and do nothing, the player's the one doing all the hard work in this game!
Yeah, and your plan for accomplishing this IS?!
Mokuba makes some remark about Kaiba actually wanting to help us, whatever, I don't give a damn, I don't need HIS help, he's horrible at dueling. Every character in this game is a bad duelist except me.
Millenium Guardian number four. If there was something interesting about him besides "his monsters are stronger" I'd have screencapped it.
The Millenium Eye! Now we can read everyone's minds and win all the duels from here on out easy...nah, of course not, we'd never USE the items, that'd be just silly.
It's that guy from the intro! And the Millenium Eye was originally owned by...
He insists that his new name is "Sol Chevasky" like changing your name means anything at all.
Probably too much of a Sephiroth clone, actually...
So we take the items back to Ishizu to revive God Card number 2.
Obelisk the Tormentor is the same as he was in Sacred Cards, which would actually solve a lot of issues in the coming--
Oh, right. I forgot. The Gods choose their wielders.
So naturally it would pick the worst candidate ever. I'm the one winning all the duels! Divine prick!
Tristan shows up all of a sudden with something to say about Serenity.