Part 13: Reshef of Destruction, part 8Reshef of Destruction, part 8
So. Marik Ishtar. If you can't beat this guy now, hell, even if you can, you are not going to survive Reshef of Destruction's endgame. He has dozens upon dozens of horrible surprises. Monster Reborn. Swords of Revealing Light. Widespread Ruin. Three copies of each of these even though the game prevents the player from doing that. No more pretending to even think about being fair.
You're gonna need every broken card you can fit into your deck. Luckily, I picked up a pretty good one. Remember Petit Moth? This card evolves into Larvae Moth if it survives a turn, then Cocoon of Evolution the next turn, and finally, the 2600-attack Great Moth. But it has to survive, so surely the CPU would just destroy it, right?
Well, barring just stalling with lots of traps, there are ways to mis-direct the AI. Petit Moth stays face-down through all of its evolutions, and the AI goes for face-up monsters first. If it does get flipped somehow (I attacked directly with it in this case, oops) the CPU will also go after "bigger" threats first, in this case, a 3000-point cartoon dragon.
Once you reach the Cocoon stage, it's really easy to survive the next turn because you have 2000 defense points now.
Then you get 2600 attack points and well, you're pretty much invinc--
MOTHERFUCKER HE HAD A FIRE MONSTER! This game!
DIE, MARIK ISHTAR, DIE!
I sure as shit better! I've been through enough of this! I want to get this overwith so I can play a good card game...SOLITAIRE.
He really does look like a giant chicken, come to think of it.
Finally. All three God cards...oh right, Kaiba has the other one. But let's have a look at Ra.
He's 100% the same as he was in Sacred Cards. Same type, same lame effect. It reduces your LP to 1 and does direct damage equal to the amount of LP you lost. In fact, considering what goes on later in the game, Ra's effect is even more worthless.
Marik points out that Ra has another mode in addition to Sphere Mode and Battle Mode: Phoenix Mode, which was not made into a real card until much later in the TCG's life.
However, Marik doesn't know how to change the piece of paper into a slightly better piece of paper, there's a "Secret" to it. Only Marik's evil side knows it.
You guys are going to fucking love what the big "Secret" is...but we have to wait a little longer to see what it is.
Back to Simon. Now will you tell us where Pegasus is?
MOTHERFUCKER. Come on! Just let the game be OVER already!
He walks off-screen to the right and tells us to chase him.
Oh look, a Millenium Guardian. Guess we have no choice.
Look at this. You see how big these monsters are?! It just gets worse and worse!
Fortunately, he only has 3000 LP, and we get two prizes, one of them being Kuriboh.
Did I mention there are FIVE OF THESE ASSHOLES?! And of course, exiting to restore your LP is just out of the question, they all respawn if you do!
The second jerk gives us Time Wizard. The third gives us Giant Soldier of Stone, the fourth gives us Celtic Guardian, and the last one gives Curse of Dragon.
This coming from a fucking Forbidden Memories character is just about the most insulting thing I can think of.
But see, there's another puzzle here, the prize cards we got mean something.
Hey Simon, I don't know if you noticed, but the world is kind of IN DANGER AT THIS VERY MOMENT. Don't you think we should not fuck around like this?!
oh no I guessed incorrectly and got sent back to the start
and I don't care.
Because the five Millenium Guardians frequently award formerly Ritual Monsters as prizes. These sell for BIG BUCKS. The fixed prize cards aren't too shabby either.
So even if I have to repeat those same duels over and over again, at the very least, each duplicate card I get can be worth a good chunk of money, letting me abuse the fuck out of the card passwords.
So, Simon asks which card should "come first" and which should "come last". Then Yugi points out that we recieved the monster cards by order of level, i.e. Kuriboh is level 1, Time Wizard is level 2...but at that rate you may as well have just asked what the order we got them in was.
Oh, of course, let's make it SIX opponents in a row without saving as opposed to just five.
FUCK NO, he has THAT?! Change of Heart permanently steals one of your opponent's monsters, unlike in the TCG where it only lasts one turn, and even then it's been banned for over 15 years considering the number of ways it can be abused. Luckily I got the Winged Dragon of Ra out: God cards are immune to Change of Heart.
I'm still gonna win, but I feel like I got spat at in the face. Stealing Mammoth Graveyard means its effect is now working against me! And Gods aren't immune to that effect! At least 3500 is still way too many attack points for it to matter.
Oh my god, Joey just said what I was about to.
NO SHIT HE IS! WHERE DID YOU THINK HE WAS!
Oh, of course. Quick, make up something so the player feels like they didn't just waste all their time! Of course Simon is completely bullshitting you anyways, as you'll soon see.
Me and me alone, considering Yugi and Joey don't do anything helpful in this game at ALL.
At the very least, I think it's rather fitting for this game's finale to take place where Duel Monsters got its true beginning. Before we go, let's grab some more cards.
Vampire Lord is summoned instantly if it's in the graveyard at the start of your turn. Since the graveyard only tracks the most recent Monster card sent there, it would either have to be the last monster destroyed on the enemy's turn, or you just discard it on your turn and summon nothing else, taking whatever direct hits your opponent can deal. Or whatever you can come up with. It's a nice card.
Trap Master is the same as he was in Sacred Cards, making him a very good card, though you'll notice his Cost increased since then. Looks like Konami noticed how overpowered he was too!
SEE? I TOLD YOU SIMON WAS BULLSHITTING YOU. If we needed Simon to remove the magic barrier, how did Kaiba know and how did he get so far ahead before we did?! So anyway, we need to ride that gondola up to the castle.
Joey, he used a magical artifact to read everyone's minds in order to win. He's a CHEATER.
These assholes jump us and demand a duel rather than just pulling a gun.
Been watching a little too much Despicable Me, eh Pegasus?! Oh sorry, "Sol Chevalsky"?
They're not terribly strong opponents, but do you see anything wrong in this picture? Like, maybe how many Life Points they start the duel with?! That's right, they start with TEN THOUSAND!
And after you beat the first one, you get to do it AGAIN.
Fortunately it's just two of them. But you're not out of the woods yet.
These two show up. You can duel one of them. They both start with 15,000 LIFE POINTS. But the insane amount of health is only a minor issue.
They have DIRECT DAMAGE, and after the previous two duels I had so little LP left that they nailed me with it on the FIRST TURN. I hate this so much.
After beating them, they then become self-aware and realize if they just force us to duel endlessly, eventually they'll win and send me back to my house.
Well what else is this line supposed to imply?
Remember when you chose to duel with either Yugi or Joey at the start of the game? Whoever you didn't pick keeps the two bozos busy while you advance with the other one. Hooray! Joey's finally useful!
That's also the first "checkpoint". You can save and pick right back up where you were. Or even go back in the gondola and fight the "Chevaliers" for whatever reason.
This is the first screen of the Dungeon. Pick a direction and duel your way in.
The second screen has an opponent that is oddly optional...you could just walk right past him. Strange.
No such luck on the third screen. The other path isn't much different aside from the background.
Why are you asking ME? Why don't YOU do it? You did it before, and he doesn't even have the Millenium Eye this time!
Time for another tag duel with these two. They haven't really changed aside from starting with 15,000 LP like PaniK and the clown did.
This game is mocking me with its prizes, I swear.
Hm, have we seen this animation yet?
Oh no! A two-tribute monster you can kill in one hit with a Dream monster!
Or did he follow it up with the Dark Magic Attack spell card?
Then there's a flashback. Hey, remember this scene? Whichever duelist you chose to fight with will be in this scene too. Boy do I wish I had quit the game back then!
Yugi stays behind to keep the Paradox brothers busy. There's another enemy you can skip here for some reason. Maybe they realized that many duels would be excessive and made a chunk of them optional at the last minute...nah, it's Konami, so they probably just messed up.
That's the second checkpoint, and thank goodness it's there.
Now is a REALLY good time to quit, because the worst is coming up here.
Oh no. Simon. This can't be good.
He says there are six imposters up ahead, and to unmask them we need six "Spirit cards".
In other words.
This late in the game, when the climax is right in front of us, we have to go back, challenge ALL SIX duelists the imposters are imitating, and defeat them all AGAIN to get their six most favorite cards.
Because if you don't...
You're forced into an endless purgatory of regenerating opponents.
WELP, YOU HEARD WHAT SIMON SAYS.
This is the most pointless filler I've ever seen. This is worse than Arc-V. Oh, and everyone got deck upgrades too.