Part 14: Reshef of Destruction part 9Reshef of Destruction part 9
Welp, that tears it. I didn't want to input any passwords and played the game entirely without them because it feels like cheating. But I have no choice if I want to have any shot at getting through the rest of this mess.
This is the first of two "Easter Egg" passwords and the only one you ever really need to enter. Oh and it'll still cost 1000 Domino.
The code I just entered is the fucking secret to Phoenix Ra. A password that the game NEVER TELLS YOU is the secret. Not a sidequest, not an extremely challenging duel or puzzle or what have you, no! A password that I'm certain was in some stupid magazine but I have no idea where. A Phoenix Ra card eventually came out in the TCG, but its ID code isn't the same as the Phoenix Ra password.
So head back to Marik, who doesn't even question how the hell YOU got your hands on the secret to Phoenix Ra, which only his evil side had and holy shit this game just loves doing this to me!
Now it's Pyro-type instead of Machine! Which means the Ocean field STILL WEAKENS IT.
But hey, this cool animation is nice.
Thank goodness. Let's have a look.
It still has the same attack points and still takes three tributes. The effect is slightly better, though: All enemy monsters destroyed for a mere 1000 LP. Oh, and its other power is the most broken ability in the entire game. No exceptions.
So let's test it out on this jerk.
Espa Roba is normally very, VERY hard. Not so much if you topdeck Phoenix Ra.
Because like with Dark Flare Knight, all you have to do is discard it...
AND IT INSTANTLY SUMMONS BATTLE MODE RA TO YOUR FIELD. Can you beat 4,000 attack points, Espa?!
Nah just kidding, it didn't actually kill me, but I'm sure it's nailed at least one poor fool. Reflect Bounder inflicts damage to you equal to the attack points of your strongest monster. If anyone summons a God card and dies to that, you have my sympathies.
So, we get the first "Soul Card" or whatever. You don't have to actually put it in your deck, hell, you might own a copy of whatever monster it is already, but no, you have to win the duel here. At least Jinzo is a great card. A great card with a massive card cost, mind you, but there it is.
Next is Mai Valentine. I want to mention that every last one of these jerks has TWO copies of Swords of Revealing Light and lots of other broken cards. Thing is, the imposters at Pegasus's castle only have ONE copy of Swords. What the hell kind of sense does this make? We still have to deal with the imposters, you'd think they'd be harder!
Bizzarrely, Mai actually shows mercy by only including a single copy of Harpie's Feather Duster. No, REX RAPTOR is the one with the multiple Feather Dusters, which is just beyond me to explain.
A significantly less useful reward.
Well I certainly don't want to have a bad time.
Then again, if that were true, I wouldn't be playing this game.
Heh, he even got his ace monster out. Shame about Pumpking though. Its effect powers up only THREE SPECIFIC CARDS instead of all Zombies. Better than its TCG effect, I guess.
No. No it won't. I think you're able to potentially win two copies of it too since the game rewards you for your wager like usual in addition to whatever card you get.
He's right. If I really wanted to show my ire for this endgame, I would purchase a copy of the game and set it on fire.
Doesn't abusing broken cards make it so much more tolerable? As long as you can draw them, that is.
Rex mentions that he would have given us the Red-Eyes Black Dragon, but Joey won that card from him back in Duelist Kingdom. So we get an ironically better card from Rex.
I hate Mako. I hate Mako. I hate Mako.
It's a good thing God cards can't trip any trap cards, because Mako has THREE Torrential Tributes. I wish there was more trap destruction than just Jinzo, Harpie's Feather Duster and Reaper of the Cards, because if a Torrential Tribute is set, the only way to avoid tripping it is to use a God card. Ra gets weakened on this field no matter what as insult to injury - he MIGHT just destroy it!
Worthless one-tribute monster. None of the TCG abilities that would have made him great.
Looking at Weevil's decklist that I datamined is just sickening. THREE Swords of Revealing Light, and he can play Cocoon of Evolution directly instead of having to start from Petit Moth. He's got Eradicating Aerosol for some strange reason (destroys all Insects...which he uses...) aaaand he has THIS:
This card can tribute itself to summon any Insect monster that's in your hand. Including, say,
THIS. I'm lucky one Fire monster is all you need to blow it up, too, because it can beat any God card on a Forest field.
Weevil hands over his best card.
This is kind of okay if you have Pinch Hopper, but we don't, so.
Do we have all six Soul Cards? Fantastic. Let's go beat the imposters. They're all WEAKER than the real deal for some reason, and they all start on the Yami field.
They are revealed to be those Chevalier pickle things after being beaten.
Well this is neat. The Mai imposter tells us a riddle that gets thrown around on occasion in the manga. The answer is usually "Friendship". (Predictably.)
Well, that's an acceptable answer too.
The final room has Kaiba dueling respawning enemies.
AHA. AHA. AHA. FUNNY. VERY FUNNY.
Oh, of course! Forcing Kaiba to fight his little brother, who saw that one coming?! Well it's not a problem for him, seeing as he could never--
WHAT?! WHY DO I HAVE TO DO IT?! You're his brother, Kaiba! You do it!
Mokuba is as easy as he was before. So can I have your God card now?
Oh of course you want to duel for it as the fate of the world rests on how quickly we finish the game. This is such a waste of my ti--
...on second thought.
So, discarding Phoenix Ra summons Battle Mode Ra. Battle Mode's effect...
Yeah. And I had used a recovery card to increase my LP past 8000.
FIRST-TURN KNOCKOUT! HELL YEAH!
The FUCK did you just say, Ishizu?!
IT ONLY TOOK ONE TURN TO BEAT HIM
Gimmie that, you prick! I'm ashamed to admit my first custom cards for my mods of this were Kaibaman and Maiden with Eyes of Blue! (his waifu)
Test of what?! Patience!?
Oh good, if this turned into a scavenger hunt I'd have quit right then.
Pegasus challenges us and
TWENTY THOUSAND LIFE POINTS?!
Grrrr...and I forgot that your LP don't recover, so after using Battle Mode Ra I'm starting this one with 1 LP. But...but I can win with Phoenix Ra alone, right?!
And he has three copies of a completely bullshit card. Relinquished lets you steal one enemy monster and he has three copies of it. No need to Ritual summon it, either, even though it's one of the few monsters whose Ritual Spell is still in the game! It can never steal a God card, though, so I guess that's fine.
The rest of his deck consists of broken cards and monsters, but none of them are a real threat. This cutscene has a variation if you haven't put in the Phoenix Ra password - you'll see Battle Mode Ra there instead. (I presume.)
But uh-oh, it's a little late to celebrate!
Behold: Reshef the Dark Being. This asshole is the perfect end-boss. So much so that they made him into a real monster in the TCG, where he has the ability to turn any Spell Card into the monster-snatching Change of Heart spell. Since it's the TCG though, he's not that fantastic compared to other horrific game-breakers.
The puzzle is completed again, so we get some words of encouragement.
Yugi, Kaiba and Joey show off their ace monsters. We haven't seen the graphic for Red-Eyes Black Dragon, so here it is.
Hey, mind if I join in the Disgaea-style cut-in? Can I? Please?
They blast him all at once, and then, to seal away the evil abomination forever...
You must BEAT HIM IN A CARD GAME??????
And I almost don't want to tell you how many Life Points he has, because you'd never believe me.
So how does FORTY THOUSAND sound? And if you lose this one, with the tiny bit of LP you have left after Pegasus, you get to watch the entire cutscene AGAIN.
Fortunately, you can derive at least SOME amusement out of this. Here's Easter Egg password number 2.
It turns Reshef into GOEMON IMPACT! Why is there a Goemon cameo in the worst Konami game in history?! Holy shit, they're actually PROUD of this mess! Why else would a highly successful Konami icon cameo in this game? Several of them, if you include the Gradius stuff!
Round 2 goes a lot more smoothly. The password doesn't change his deck at all. However, no matter how well you're doing, Reshef has one final "Fuck you" if you are incredibly unlucky. As if the strongest monsters and the most broken spells and traps WEREN'T enough...
HE HAS THE EGYPTIAN GOD CARDS IN HIS DECK.
This makes NO sense. Okay fine, Reshef absorbed the power of the Gods, whatever the fuck, but come on. The fact that we're playing cards with him is stupid enough as is. Anyhow, he doesn't have Phoenix Ra, thank goodness, but always remember: Obelisk can inflict 4000 direct damage, and Battle Mode Ra is an auto-win if he has more LP left than you do, and he starts with 40,000. See where this is going?
The last point I want to make before ending the update is that Slifer is actually vulnerable to a trap called Dragon Capture Jar. In Sacred Cards, it just destroyed all Dragon monsters and was a Spell, but now it's a continuous Trap that stops all Dragons from attacking as long as it exists. This includes Slifer, so it might be worth getting one!
Next time, the (not) thrilling conclusion!