Part 110: Fat Chance
Chapter 84 – Fat Chance
Sir Gula?
Sir Gula’s Dig Site
A Fraud a Day
Sir Gula!
Bonus: Bellegar, Round 3 (screwing around)
Video: Sir Gula?
(Yara) The front door is still guarded. Mind-reading that beggar told me where the key to the back is hidden. 
I wonder if that’s the cheese that Bourdain wants? Ugh… it REEKS.
What the hell? 
(Behrlihn) There must be some way to gain entry to this place! It is crucial; essential! How about the front door?
I’m not sure for the story reason why that entrance is barricaded, but the gameplay reason was to keep you from going upstairs until after you’ve talked to Thaddeus about the Wizard Wars.
(Bert) Yes, can I help you? I’m here on behalf of Alzbeta: she told me I could visit Gula. Truly? Well in that case, go right ahead.Music: In the King’s Garden
An ordinary enough house. And yet there is an air of unusualness about it. Probably because this is one of the few houses in Aleroth that DON’T break all the laws of architecture and physics.Encheeseclopedia
No one on the first two floors, that leaves the third…
What the Hell?!
(???) Alzbeta! Where have you… What? What is this? Who are you? What is a damned troll doing in a stately house in Aleroth? (Gula) Don’t be too hasty to judge me by appearance, stranger. I did not always dwell in this bloated body. I am Sir Gula: a man who used to walk the streets of this city with pride, basking in the flattering graces of many a young lady. My reputation as an adventurer was quite phenomenal and, in a craze of euphoric hubris, I vowed to steal the golden dinner plate of the troll king Bragi. No one thought it possible, but I did it and it was my greatest heist. But the thing got a hold over me and cursed me. You do seem to have lost your looks, unless those ladies you mentioned had a rather bizarre fetish. 
(-7500 XP) Never mind how obnoxious he looks! He knows things and we must know them too! You may make light of my situation, but I assure you it is a terrible thing to see yourself transform from Adonis to atrocity. Ever since I brought Bragi’s plate home I have been plagued by an unrelenting hunger that is more insurmountable than an addiction to the strongest of morphias. And now I have eaten so much I have taken on the semblance of the turgid goliath I wronged. And ever I wolf down food without end, unable to stop, unable to quench my perpetual starvation. I take it the name Alzbeta rings a bell. So you know about my deal with her! Yes, I paid her a lot of gold to supply me with more food day and night without end. It was she I was expecting when you turned up. But did you expect she stole that food from the healers and that her happy-go-lucky cook fed you one of their number? What?! Divine save me, this is terrible! Gods, what have I caused… Is there nothing that can be done about your curse? But what? I daren’t leave my room like this. I verily can’t, in fact! I’ll remain here till I burst. Frankly, I’d like you to end my miserable existence here and now to end my suffering. Let’s not get dramatic here. How about I return Bragi’s plate to wherever you found it? You would do that for me? Do you think that would break the curse? Yes, it might just! I found the plate in some underground halls beneath Aleroth. My archaeological dig is located near the city gate. Place the plate back on the ceremonial altar there and perhaps Bragi will forgive me! Please, there is no one else I can turn to!
I’ll just teleport to Mardaneus Plaza and… another dead body in the streets. Wonderful.
Didn’t Messalina at the Circle of Trust say she was missing a Bellegar coin? The key is for the wooden chest in the same shot. This is the first link in the “Mind over Matter” quest line.Gula's dig was located next to the Circle of Trust tavern, and the Dragon Knight had some business there as well.
(Balbus) Yeah? Got one of the feral three? I killed Jango. Here is his bracelet. Splendid! You certainly earned this gold. Don’t give up now, I’ll make it worth your while if you slay ‘em all!
“Jango” complete! Quest Reward: 4783 XP, 600 Gold. Bonus Chosen: 2435 XP.
(Messalina) Welcome back. Always a pleasure! I found this strange coin. Any idea where it comes from? My coin! I never thought I would see it again. Please let me give you a token of thanks: this rare and valuable book. Farewell for now! Honour and courage be with you, Dragon Knight! “Messalina” complete! Quest Reward: 4873 XP, 600 Gold, “The Saucy Lass from Rivertown”. Bonus Chosen: 2435 XP.Video: Sir Gula’s Dig Site
Music: Abandoned Cave
That bottle there doesn’t look like it belongs here. Heleon’s potions have a helpful blue glow around them. They’re no different than the Ultimate Restoration potion, which we can make ourselves, so there’s no point in using them ourselves (and failing the quest).
I don’t think the enemies in here respawn, which is fine by me. Under the urns dissolving into dust in the left is a key. There are two possible doors it can go into. Use it on the left one to get access to a chest and a key for the next door.
I’ve seen trolls, and this place seems way too small for trolls.
Ironically, for Aleroth, the architecture is wrong because it’s too small. A troll would feel really cramped in these tunnels. This is the same style of ruin we’ve seen from Broken Valley to Sentinel Island to the Orobas Fjords. And speaking of ancient troll ruins…
Okay… this brings me to another problem with the game’s continuity. Let’s recap: so far, under Aleroth we have:- A secret vault that is thousands of years old.
- A secret Maxos-made vault that is thousands of years old.
- Ancient troll ruins.
- An ancient temple.
- A newly installed sewer system.
- Who knows what the ancient series of catacombs and tombs underneath the village in Divine Divinity were, was that something different as well or part of one of the other things?
That’s a lot of stuff hiding under one small city. And we’re not done yet. I know one of the reasons why: Larian didn’t have the time and budget to make extra areas outside the city and still have that and the city as high quality. If that was an option, there’s no doubt in my mind that a lot of these areas would have been moved elsewhere. So I don’t blame Larian for doing it this way, even though it produces a really strange history for the city.
Looks like Heleon set up his lab in this important room.Heleon’s Log.
I should turn this over to Bernard as well. It’ll help him figure out how to make the potions.
On this altar were placed effects belonging to the troll king Bragi. I’ll just put the plate back and see if that makes a difference to Gula.
Another altar, and something is missing from there too. I wonder…
(Lucian) What is it, Dragon Knight? There was a troll in the asylum who claimed not to be a troll. It wanted me to bring it a drink… Fascinating, I’m sure. Can we just continue with your mission to free me? Soon. I have other stops to make first… a really urgent stop.Music: Phoenix Inn
Video: A Fraud a Day
(Bourdain) Ah, mon ami, you have found some Gorgombert? I have the cheese you need. And if I carry it around any longer, the smell will make people think I’m another undead! Haha! Yes, it has a heady aroma hasn’t it? But wait till you taste it when prepared by the great Bourdain! C’est fantastique! And since I know who the critic is, I’ll start to cook right away! “Bourdain’s Cheese” complete! Quest Reward: 4873 XP, 600 Gold. Bonus Chosen: 2435 XP. While I'm in the market, I may as well drop in on Bernard as well.Music: Healer’s House
Joyous hour! Praise be Alzbeta’s gruesome enterprise has been shut down. This may or may not be important, but I found out Darvesh has been stealing food from Gula’s kitchen. Has he now? It is a sin to be sure, but I shall not reprimand him. Gula is probably the only one who never gives to the Healer’s House charity. He deserves to have a poor sod loot his cellars once in a while! I have this book here, but I don’t have the time to read it. Interested? ‘The Saucy Lass from Rivertown’! Oh, you brighten a dark day, Dragon Knight! Please accept this amphora of High Hall wine. I am not one for spirits, but have been told this is an excellent claret. “Bernard” complete! Quest Reward: 4873 XP, 600 Gold, High Hall Wine. Bonus Chosen: 2435 XP. Here are some of Heleon’s potions. Five of them to be exact. Perfect! Capital! If I can extract the recipe from these samples, we’ll be able to save many lives! And Heleon can consider himself banned from Healers’ House for keeping this secret to himself. The tragedies that could have been averted! The catastrophes! Goodbye for now. Fortune be with you, hero of Healer’s House! “Herbal Medicine” FAILED! “A Fraud a Day” complete! Quest Reward: 6211 XP, 1300 Gold, Skill Book. Bonus Chosen: 3105 XP, Stone Pendant (+12 Melee Damage, +2 Mindread).The Dragon Knight headed for Gula's house by way of Lanilor Lane.
(Heleon) I do hope you’ll fetch me my potions soon! About your potions… I gave them to Bernard. You idiot! What am I going to do now? I needed them all! People will die! What did you do?
Next time, try not to proclaim how you’ll screw over sick people so you’ll be famous.Music: In the King’s Garden
Video: Sir Gula!
(Gula) There you are! I have been anxiously awaiting your return! You’re looking a bit better than when we last met. A spectacular metamorphosis, wouldn’t you say? Never again shall I risk such disfigurement! (-7500 XP) He was trapped in a body as I am trapped in a cave. His renewed life is worthless… mine. Is. Not! Here’s the key to my treasure chest. Take it, take it all. I shall be content to live a quiet life in the city. Even though you no longer aspire to adventure, you must have discovered some interesting things back in the day, no? Oh, many marvels I have uncovered, but the most enigmatic thing I ever caught the scent of is some sort of forgotten part of Rivellonian history. Did you know, Dragon Knight, that many millennia ago, some sort of terrible war must have raged: greater even than the one wherein the Divine fell? Why no one remembers this, or why there are no records of it, I cannot say: but I am quite certain this war was real and not some legend. That chest I told you about? I kept a book in there that details what meagre facts I have been able to piece together. It even contains some cryptic message I found scratched into the inside of the lid of a massive sarcophagus. Scratched from the inside… gives me the shivers. It’s in the book, though, what that eerie message said. All yours now. Fare thee well, Gula. Health and happiness be yours, my friend! “Fat Chance” complete! Quest Reward: 5632 XP, 900 Gold. Bonus Chosen: 2815 XP. Gula goes to the Phoenix Inn to relax, if you're wondering.
Here it is, the fifth part of the Dragon Wizard set. I’ll show the whole thing off in the Behind the Scenes part at the end.
Amazing what secrets this self-styled adventurer managed to scrape together. He knows an inkling of the truth, of the Wizard Wars. To think he found a tomb and a riddle of the five. It must have been Althalos Greyface who lay there. He was… my executioner. Among Gula’s notes one strange piece of lore is pondered over most: “The Moss Rat is the opposite of life.” “Clue III” complete! Quest Reward: 7920 XP, 1600 Gold, 2 Skill books. Bonus Chosen: 3960 XP, 1600 Gold.
Level 42! 
Summon Demon
Increased from Rank 12 to Rank 15 (MAX)
Mana Cost: 162 -> 178
Cooldown: 30 seconds
Duration: 400 -> 460 seconds
Demon Level: 36 -> 40
Fatality
Increased from Rank 5 to Rank 6
Mana Cost: 30 -> 34
Kills Enemies under: 22% -> 25% Health
With Summon Demon maxed, I’m moving on to Fatality. If that gets maxed out, then any further points will go into Evade.
Video: Bellegar, Round 3
Yep.
(Bellegar) Tell me then why it is you persist
to let loose the poison from cancerous cyst? You seek to release the slumbering scourge and therefore it is you that I must purge!
Here we go again, friend. On to the slaughter!
The time is getting shorter. It’s now down to 120 seconds. In my first attempt it was laughably easy, so much so that I was able to stop fighting and take a leisurely stroll around the arena, looking around. When I realized that was because I had bumped the difficulty down to Normal and forgot to change it, I had to re-record.I decided to try it on Nightmare WITHOUT my summons. That was TOO overconfident. I ran out of time.
Bonus Video: Bellegar, Round 3 (screwing around)
Hahaha! His magic is no match for Chaos. We prevail as always! 
Be damned, thou Dragon, by all Seven Gods! How long shall you keep on flouting the odds? But once afore I have stopped Armageddon, and I’ll do so again as the world I shall redden with the cold flowing pus that is thy blood. May all to thee loyal drown in that flood!
Well done! What a force you are to dodge his attempts at premature crystallization. He is quite the opponent, and I speak from experience.
Sir Gula?
Sir Gula’s Dig Site
A Fraud a Day
Sir Gula!
Bonus: Bellegar, Round 3 (screwing around)
Order of the Viper Set Bonuses
Order of the Viper Helmet: +30 Ranged Armour Rating
Order of the Viper Cuirass: +20 Vitality
Order of the Viper Bracers: +20 Strength
Order of the Viper Leggings: +30 Heightened Reflexes
Order of the Viper Belt: +30 Magic Armour Rating
I completed the Dragon Wizard set. It’s similar to Lord Lovis and Amdusias armour.
Skill bonuses:
Helm: Mana Efficiency +5
Earrings: Destruction +5
Cuirass: Way of the Battle Mage+5
Bracers: Firewall +5
Leggings: Charm +5
(???) Alzbeta! Where have you… What? What is this? Who are you? The Dragon Knight you may have heard about. Are you? It’s an honour to meet you, then! Please let me introduce myself. No one thought it possible, but I did it and it was my greatest heist. But the thing got a hold over me and cursed me. Pride comes before the fall, as they say. A tired expression, but I cannot deny its applicability.You can’t actually kill Gula, but you can accept Gula’s offer to be put out of his misery.
Frankly I’d like you to end my miserable existence here and now to end my suffering. Very well. If that is what you want, I can end your life. On the other hand, that weapon of yours looks… painful! Maybe, just maybe, you could break the curse…It’s funny because Yara is not carrying a weapon. She IS a weapon.
What can you tell me about Gula? He’s a rather famous adventurer and fortune seeker. Weird character if you ask me. What can messing with ancient artefacts bring but dire catastrophe? Maybe you can talk some sense into him before anything bad happens! He has a house on Lanilor Lane, I believe.
(Valeri) You want to know more about these runes, don’t you? I solved Bellegar’s rune riddle and found it opens a dungeon. Impressive! A most interesting place, I’m sure, but I don’t wish to end my days in one of those dark retreats like so many young adventurers. So you’ll have the place all to yourself!
If you fail to defeat all of the monsters in time, welp…
NO! You sapless wyrm, you decrepit worm! He caught you! All is lost! The eternal dark… may it be your dismal doom as well!
Hahaha! Your quest has been portentous, your providence bizarre! But master trumps apprentice: no one bests bold Bellegar!!
You have been locked in crystal. Game Over!