Part 40: Dedicated to the Memory of Sir Edmund Hillary
Update 26: Dedicated to the Memory of Sir Edmund Hillary
"Well, if everyone's ready, it's time to head for Blithes Peak."
"Aren't you forgetting something? We don't know where Blithes Peak is."
"I remember seeing a large mountainous island across the ocean east of Portsmith. Perhaps that was Blithes Peak?"
"Worth a try, I guess. It's off to Portsmith we go, then!"
"I'd be rather worried if the ocean didn't appear wet."
"We can't just swim across to the island. What are we supposed to do now?"
"Don't worry, guys, I'm right on it! Mighty Talcron, if you could see fit to protect us from the sea's fury as we bravely stride across it, that'd be really cool! Make a sandbar out of lightning for us to walk across or something."
"Your holy incantations still need some work, I think."
"Is it really the best idea to rely on a god of thunder to protect us from the ocean?"
"At least we're not likely to drown, if only because we'll be electrocuted first."
"Here we are! That wasn't so bad, was it?"
"I smell something burning and I can't feel anything in my feet."
"Well, look on the bright side. At least your feet won't get sore while we climb all the way to the top of this mountain."
"Would those large beasts above Wyvern Peaks be wyverns, by any chance? I mean, I'm just taking a wild guess here, based on the fact that it's called Wyvern Peaks and also we've actually fought wyverns there."
"I think the feeling's started to return to my feet. I wish it hadn't."
"Hey, I think I can see a cave in the Korin Bluffs from here! Let's go explore it!"
"Why? We have no idea what could be in there."
"That's why it's called exploring!"
"This is a terrible idea and will probably get us all killed."
"Awww. Well, I guess we could just go back to Portsmith instead. I've been meaning to pay another visit to that pool..."
"Come on, everyone, let's go explore this cave! Before Jostiband explores our caves."
"This cave better not be too big. It's cold and wet and I keep slipping on all the mold and slime on the ground."
Several minutes later...
"Wait a minute, why does this patch of mold already have our footprints in it? Have we been this way before?"
"I think this is another of those infinite corridors that keep teleporting us back. Hang on, I'll deal with it. Get ready to jump, so that we can finally see what's at the end of this passage."
"This had better be something interesting."
"Do spike traps count as interesting?"
"Only if you're being impaled by them."
"It's amazing!"
"It's fantastic!"
"It's incredible!"
"What is it?"
"I have no idea."
"But when I hold it in my hand like so, it seems to make me stronger."
"You might be stronger, but I've still got a sword that's bigger than you are. Give it to me."
Thundranium has 50 charges, increases Might by 15 whenever it's used, and is also a quest item. It is in fact amazing, fantastic and incredible, and it makes Might Potions completely redundant. It's found almost exclusively in this cave.
After safely stowing away their new treasure, the party continued their exploration of the cave...
"Wait, wait, wait. Point of order here. Is 'jagged slime pit' intended to mean a pit dug out of slime, or a pit filled with slime? If the latter, is the slime itself jagged, or the pit the slime is in? If the slime, how can it be slime if it's rigid enough to have sharp points? If the pit, what part or parts are jagged: the edges, the bottom, or both?"
"On second thought, maybe I should worry about that after we've finished killing all the monsters down here."
Fortunately, the monsters in the cave are weak, and the party won a quick and easy victory. Cleaning off all the slime took longer than the fight itself.
"Jostiband, can you cast a Levitate spell so that we don't have to listen to Successhands babble about pits ever again?"
"Can do! We won't have to worry about traps any more!"
"Let me rephrase: we won't have to worry about pit traps any more."
"The arena under Sorpigal? Why were we teleported here?"
"Old teleportation magic going haywire, maybe, or a wizard with a violent streak. Who really knows with this sort of thing?"
Several hours of travel back to the Korin Bluffs later...
"Ha ha! See how you like us now, slime pit!"
"Hey, Preacher, are we authorised personnel?"
"I doubt it."
"How do we become authorised personnel?"
"We probably don't."
"Well, that's no fun. Let's just break in."
"Whoa, neat. It's more of those weird green dudes. Except these ones don't look friendly."
These are the same kind of aliens the party would have fought if they'd annoyed the ones on the crashed spaceship. They're quite dangerous, as they can fire energy beams for up to 100 damage.
Fortunately, this time half of them used weak physical attacks and the other half ran away.
"Hey, one of them was carrying something weird. Does anyone know what this is?"
"It looks like some kind of projectile weapon. Here, I'll take it."
The Laser Blaster increases accuracy when equipped, and can be used to cast Disintegrate. All in all, it's a fairly neat item.
"A door! I hope whoever's behind it isn't ticked off that we killed his aliens."
"Uh, sure, I guess. What portals would those be?"
"So who actually put all these prisoners in the castles, anyway? I mean, Castle Dragadune's been deserted for centuries."
"Oh, it's my job to visit the abandoned castles every so often and replace any prisoners who get freed. It's a way of testing the morality of adventurers, you see."
"That's monstrous! The moral thing to do would be to lock you in chains for a while and see how you like it."
"Unfortunately for you, you can't just attack random people you happen to meet in your travels. What do you think this is, Ultima?"
"Maybe we can't fight you, but we can at least take revenge by ruining your experiments!"
"Hey, if they're invisible, how do we know how many of them there are?"
"My backpack! My precious, treasure-filled backpack! Give it back!"
"Oh, stop your whining. We can just kill them and take it back."
"Well, I think we killed them all, but I don't see my backpack anywhere. Can I at least keep that Thundranium?"
"You don't have a backpack. Where would you put it? Actually, please don't answer that."
"I guess these doors must lead to the portals Ranaloo was talking about. It'd save us a lot of time if we knew which one led to Castle Blackridge North."
"Maybe we should have asked Ranaloo."
"Should have thought of that before you destroyed my experiments."
"Well, we've got nothing to lose by trying one at random. Come on, everyone."
"What a stroke of luck! I suppose we should go back to Lord Inspectron and report what we've discovered now."
"Ah, you have returned. Have you visited Blithes Peak?"
"That's the huge mountain on an island to the east of Portsmith, right?"
"Yes, that's the one. What could you see from its top?"
"There are wyverns flying above Wyvern's Peak!"
"... really. Well, I suppose technically you've visited Blithes Peak and reported back to me."
"Hey, how come sometimes you say 'you' and sometimes you say 'thou'?"
"It's a speech impediment. I'll thank you not to mention it again."
"Oh, okay. Well, can we get another quest?"
"You mean this Cactus Nectar? Here, have it. It tastes like piss anyway."
"Well, that was easy. Got another one for us?"
"We've done that one too. It's in the northwest corner. I got this armour there."
"Excellent. I don't suppose you have any more quests?"
"Been there, done that. It's kind of near the northeast corner, and it turns gold into experience."
"Kind of like how you're turning exploration we would have done anyway into experience right now. Got any more quests for us, old man?"
"Have we done that one already too?"
"Guess not."
"Not bad for a day's work. Time to head back to town and get some rest."
"But first, I'm going to get some use out of all that experience."
"It seems that on our next adventure, we shall be solving the Riddle of the Ruby... but what kind of ruby asks riddles, and where could such a ruby be?"
"Who cares? The important thing is that now I can have superhuman strength whenever I need it!"
"My backpack... I still can't believe it's gone..."
"Will you stop complaining about that if we go back to the cave next time and get you another laser blaster?"
"For a laser blaster, I'll stop complaining about anything for at least a week!"
"I've got some Thundranium too! Let's all be muscle buddies!"
"Let's not."
"I've cleared out some of those old potions from my backpack, but for some reason I felt compelled to hang on to that revolting old eye."
"Preacher, can I have a laser blaster too?"
"Jostiband, you are a laser blaster, and the last thing you need is more firepower."
Well, that about wraps it up for today. Next time: we solve the last of Lord Inspectron's quests and get another item that'll take up space in our inventory for months until we finally find the place to use it!