The Let's Play Archive

Might & Magic

by Thuryl

Part 51: Blue -- No, Yellow




Update 33: Blue -- No, Yellow



"After we've found the Inner Sanctum, we should all go and take a swim together."
"Wait, why are we here again?"
"Well, we wanted to find a way past that big coral slab. Coral grows in the ocean, so if someone knows how to get past big coral slabs, they probably live around here somewhere, right?"
"So our plan is to wander aimlessly across the entire ocean searching for a hypothetical person who, if he or she exists, may or may not be willing to help us?"
"Pretty much."



"Well, I suppose we can start by visiting those islands. If they provide us with nothing else, a spot of dry land to rest on will be more than welcome."

Actually, I don't know why the game bothered to point out those islands, since there's nothing on them...



... except for monsters. It's probably because Might & Magic hates you.



Further to the southwest, the party stumbles across another, larger island.

"The person who can get us past the coral slab must live on this island!"
"What makes you so sure of that, Jostiband?"
"Well, we've already been everywhere else."
"But why do you think there has to be someone who can get us past the coral slab in the first place?"
"If there weren't, why would we be here?"



"See? I told you so."
"Fine, we'll answer your question. We've got nothing to lose."
"Except your various bodily organs."
"... wait, what did you just say?"
"Oh, did I forget to mention that anyone who answers incorrectly will be disintegrated? Silly me."
"You know what? Forget this. We're leaving."
"Too late. You already agreed, and now you either answer the questions or get zapped into oblivion."



"I guess it's a good thing we visited the gypsy outside Sorpigal way back when. Um, does anyone remember what my colour was?"
"Don't worry, I wrote them all down just in case."
"Aw, damn it. I was hoping to see someone get disintegrated. Well, I guess now I have to let you all cross."




"Well, we have what we came here for, amazingly enough. Wait, where are we? The bridge is gone and so is that strange cloaked man."



"Good question. Instead of finding out, why don't we just fly back to that island full of crazed natives and try out our coral key?"



"Wait, how exactly does sticking a coral key into a giant coral slab make it any easier to move it?"
"Shh! If you question it, it might stop working!"



"It's very warm down here. Quite uncomfortable, in fact. Almost as if... oh dear. I think I know where we are."
"What's wrong, Preacher? Where are we?"
"We're underneath the Volcanic Isles. This is where the savages conducted sacrifices to their cruel volcano god."
"Wait, are we talking human sacrifices here? Because I totally didn't sign up for that."
"Oh, stop yer whining. Whoever or whatever's down here, we can handle 'em."



"Can we handle a giant dial on the wall?"
"We can handle it. Whether we can operate it is another matter entirely. Maybe we should come back later."



"You'd think I'd have learned by now to always cast Levitate when we're in a cave, wouldn't you? Well, shows what you know."



"Huh. I don't see what's so random about it, but I guess we'd better try to figure out the right setting for those dials."
"Maybe there's a clue around here somewhere."
"One can only hope. I've been waiting for you to find a clue ever since I met you."



"Does she count as a clue?"
"No, but she's the best luck we've had in months."
"Stop! None of you will so much as lay a finger on her!"
"Too late."
"Jostiband, I know you're the one who has to interact somehow with everything we encounter, but isn't this taking it a little too far?"



That's right: when we kiss the virgin, she rewards us by telling us to set the dials to BJ. Make your own jokes here, folks.

"That went... less badly than I expected, but we still have to free her!"
"Over my dead body."
"Eh? Who said that?"



"Oh my."



"... oh my."
"Jostiband, you just disintegrated a god. That is quite possibly the most terrifying yet amazing thing that anybody has ever done, ever. For once, I am lost for words. I have no sarcastic remark to improve this moment. I am quaking in genuine, you-inspired awe."



"While all of you were talking, I chopped up the rest of those lava beasts. No need to thank me."



"Hey, what's this? It's hard to tell because it's covered in the volcano god's ashes, but it looks like some kind of card."
"We can worry about that later. For now, we should set those dials."



By the way, dear reader, do you remember the dungeon where we fought all those minotaurs so long ago? If so, do you remember the dog statue inside it?



Do you remember how the dog came to life and told us to "remember B.J."? No? Well, neither did I, but if you don't kiss the virgin, that's the alternative way of finding out the code for these dials. How anyone is expected to make a connection between the statue and the dials, I've no idea.



"Okay, so I guess we did something right. But what did that do, exactly?"
"There's only one way to find out!"
"Damn it all. Every time you say that we end up doing something stupid."



"In this case, wandering around randomly until a mysterious force teleports us somewhere."



"Didn't I disintegrate you?"
"I got better."
"Well, Drewjitsu, it looks like this is your chance to finally get a clue."




"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"I haven't got a clue."



"Hey, you, we're here for a refund. Your clue wasn't."
"Fine. Have a riddle instead."



"Hmm... if these are the Volcanic Isles..."



"You must be referring to brave Gala, the failed missionary."
"Bingo."



"We actually got one of those off your disintegrated remains already."
"Don't remind me. In fact, just get out of here before you try that again."



"Aw, he teleported us all the way back to Sorpigal before I could thank him for giving us that card."
"Somehow, I think the best thanks we could give him would be to never go back there again."



"I'm the only one who got any new equipment this time. This ring mail protects me from electrical attacks."

Next time: well, uh, there aren't too many things we haven't done yet. The party can go visit King Alamar, they can explore the outdoors some more, or they can randomly fuck up a city full of dragons just because it's there. It's up to you. Vote now!