"Weiss, you dumbass! Start making sense, you rotten book, or you're gonna be sorry! Maybe I'll rip your pages out, one-by-one! Or maybe I'll put you in the goddamn furnace! How can someone with such a big, smart brain get hypnotized like a little bitch?! Huh!? Oh, Shadowlord! I love you, Shadowlord! Come over here and give Weiss a big sloppy kiss, Shadowlord! Now pull your head out of your goddamn ass and START FUCKING HELPING US!!" - The greeting upon beginning NIER.
What the hell is a Nier?
NIER is a third person uhh...well, I guess you'd call it an action-adventure game, not unlike Zelda...kinda...released in April of 2010 for the Xbox 360 and Playstation 3 consoles by our old friends at Cavia Inc. In fact, NIER was their very last title before being shut down. Indeed, NIER is...sort of a sequel to Drakengard! (Shameless self promotion!) At least, it is in the same continuity as that game. NIER is an offshoot of Drakengard's Ending E to be precise. Better known as the greatest video game troll known to man...
No...what the hell is a "Nier"?
Oh... Nier (pronounced like "near") is the protagonist of the game, the barbarian looking chap up above there, who possesses a few anger issues and will stomp a mud hole in anyone remotely getting in his way in curing sick young daughter, Yonah. His name is actually left up to the player to decide and never said in-game. This makes titling the game after him a bit mystifying. But, NIER marches to the beat of its own drum.
So, this is a pseudo-sequel to Drakengard. Do I need to have played that/read your previous LP to understand Nier?
Not at all. Although Nier is made by the same director, Taro Yoko, and much of the same team as Drakengard, it only has the lightest of ties to that title. All you need to know is that in one of the endings of Drakengard, the hero and his dragon aborted the pregnancy of a giant cannibal space baby spawning pan-dimensional cosmic horror by slamming into it so hard it knocked them into another dimension. Our dimension... Shinjuku Tokyo, Japan to be precise.
They then had a high stakes rhythm game battle above the skies of Tokyo wherein the giant mother monster was destroyed. The monster disintegrated and the day was saved. Also, the Japanese Airforce rolled in and shot down and killed the hero and his dragon with a missile strike. Said dragon's corpse was then impaled on Tokyo Tower. The End.
Look, Drakengard was a really fucking weird game. What do you want out of me? All you need to gain from all that is introducing elements from a magical dark fantasy world with dragons, space babies, and shit to a non-magical ecosystem is really, really, REALLY bad for the environment as well as general health of the populace of that dimension.
I will be making a decent number of Drakengard references though, so maybe you ought to go read up on that. Just don't play it...nobody deserves that dire fate...
What's this Replicant/Gestalt two versions business over in Japan I heard about?
Cavia is a weird company. Over in Japan, the Xbox360 and Playstation 3 each have their own version of the game. Xbox360 has Nier Gestalt: basically the English version we got over here. Playstation 3 has Nier Replicant: an alternate version starring an anime pretty boy teenage Nier who is the brother, instead of father, of Yonah. This version is there to appeal to Japanese audiences since Japan is weird like that. They are largely the same, other than the hero and his relation to the girl Yonah. I'll be covering Replicant a bit. In sum: let us all just be happy we aren't playing as this colossal tool:
Are you going to 100% the game?
In so far as doing all the sidequests and getting all four endings? Yup. If I did it for Drakengard, I can do it for NIER.
Hey, what's with the no spoilers thing? They were cool in your other threads.
Well, after Chrono Cross had every other page look like a damn CIA classified file, I was sick of looking at all that shit. Plus, Chrono Cross was ten years old. This game is barely 10 months out the door... And besides, this game actually has a plot that deserves not to be spoiled.
Edit: Do not post links to sites filled with spoilers either. I'm aware Grimoire Nier translations exist, I'll be showing it off. I wouldn't think I would have to say that, but turns out I was wrong. Thanks!
Does NIER live up to Drakengard's "What the FUCK" standard?
No. No it does not. Nier will not be going as far off the deep end in batshit crazy. It is still a strange game with some pretty fucked up shit that will go down. It goes down a much different rabbit hole than Drakengard did. But, honestly this game is like a bizarro version of Drakengard.
Drakengard was a repetitive grind that got old after about an hour of gameplay. Nier, while not brilliant with its gameplay, does frequently mix things up to keep it fresh. Drakengard had a dodgily translated, barely comprehensible at points plot, filled with a cast of utterly unlikable assholes that all had subpar voice acting. Nier has one of the best damn, natural sounding translations I have heard in a JRPG, has an interesting and coherent plot filled with a very likable cast of jerks with outstanding voice acting. Drakengard had a soundtrack of chaotic dissonance that was unsettling at best, ear raping at worst. Nier has a goddamn phenomenal OST that was so well received it got a second one released just last month.
NIER was honestly my game of the year of 2010. There were prettier games, games that played better, and all that jazz. But fuck them, NIER was a memorable labor of love by a company (that still absolutely hates you, the player) that got its shit together at the end to pump out one really great game. So let's get started on this long, depressing road. Did I mention NIER was depressing...? No? Oh, well NIER will ruin your goddamn day by the end, friend. Ruin it and push you to drinking. So, with that in mind, let's get started!
- Episode I: Snow in the Summer
- Episode II: The Deep Crimson Foe
- Episode III: Years Later...
- Episode IV: Nothin' But Mutton
- Episode V: Should Have Hired a Babysitter...
- Episode VI: The Book of Legend
- Episode VII: Hansel and Gretel
- Bonus Video: Hansel and Gretel Fight - Failure Commentary
- Episode VIII: The Song of the Ancients
- Episode IX: A Primer on Sidequests and the Boar Hunt!
- Episode X: Village Handyman
- Episode XI: Quite an Outfit
- Episode XII: Hook
- Bonus Video: Kainé Fight Silliness
- Episode XIII: By Land, Sea, and Sky
- Episode XIV: Teach a Man to Fish...
- Episode XV: The Postman's Oath
- Episode XVI: Man's Best Friend
- Episode XVII: The Two Brothers
- Episode XVIII: The Wretched Automatons
- Episode XVIII (Part 2): Truth...
- Episode XIX: Hollow Dreams
- Episode XX: Cold Steel Coffin
- Episode XXI: The Wild Companion
- Episode XXII: Fatherhood
- Episode XXIII: The Fisherman's Gambit
- Episode XXIV: The City of Commerce
- Bonus Update: Fishing Records (Part 1)
- Episode XXV (Part 1): Of Letters, Lovers, and Lies...
- Episode XXV (Part 2): Closure...
- Episode XXVI: It's Coarse and Rough and Irritating and It Gets Everywhere
- Episode XXVII: The City of Rules
- Episode XXVIII: Escort Mission
- Episode XXIX: The Temple of Drifting Sands
- Episode XXX: Gods Bound by Rules
- Episode XXXI: This Dream
- Episode XXXII: Life Lessons
- Episode XXXIII: A Dream of Words
- Episode XXXIV: A Wet Dream
- Episode XXXV: A Dream of Art
- Episode XXXVI: A Daydream
- Episode XXXVII: No Wolf Zone!
- Episode XXXVIII: 1% Margin of Error
- Episode XXXIX: Fluff
- Episode XL: Yonah's Penpal
- Episode XLI: Survival Horror
- Episode XLII: The Darkside Dead Aim Chronicles
- Episode XLIII: The Red Book
- Episode XLIV: They're Coming...
- Episode XLV: The Jack of Hearts
- Episode XLVI: Shit Just Got Real
- Episode XLVII: White and Black
- Episode XLVIII: Book Burner
- Episode XLIX: Wait For Me...
- Episode L: Some Time Later...
- Episode LI: Status Update
- Episode LII: Go-To Man
- Episode LIII: But of Course the Creepy Mansion has an Underground Laboratory!
- Episode LIV: Papa Nier and the Deepground Diablo Labs
- Episode LV: Number 6
- Episode LVI: Number 7
- Episode LVII: Release
- Episode LVIII (Part 1): Seasick
- Episode LVIII (Part 2): The Fate of the Jewel
- Episode LIX (Part 1): Mysterious Errands
- Episode LIX (Part 2): What's in the Box?!
- Episode LX: Return to the Lost Shrine
- Episode LXI: Rematch
- Episode LXII: A True Friend
- Episode LXIII: Give the Boy a Hand!
- Episode LXIV: Broken Finger
- Episode LXV: The Buddy System
- Episode LXVI: Fading Memories
- Bonus Video: The Memory Tree Video
- Episode LXVII: Health Advisory
- Episode LXVIII: Mind Your Manors
- Episode LXIX: Rise of the Machines
- Episode LXX: P-33
- Episode LXXI: Despicable Deeds
- Episode LXXII: The Final Gambit
- Episode LXXIII: Strange Things Are Happenin' to Me
- Episode LXXIV: Facade Bachelor
- Episode LXXV: My Big Fat NIER Wedding
- Episode LXXVI: The Men of the Mask
- Episode LXXVII: Roc
- Episode LXXVIII: Life in the Sands Friggin' Sucks!
- Episode LXXIX: Technical Difficulties
- Episode LXXX: Our Regularly Scheduled Program
- Episode LXXXI: Wendy
- Episode LXXXII: Homecoming
- Episode LXXXIII (Part 1): The Worst Bar in Seafront
- Episode LXXXIII (Part 2): By the Way...
- Episode LXXXIV: Mr. Sandman
- Episode LXXXV: The Final Facade
- Episode LXXXVI: The Final Sidequest!
- Episode LXXXVII: Permission Granted
- Episode LXXXVIII: Dance of the Evanescent
- Major spoilers. Click only when caught up on updates:
- Episode LXXXIX: Dirge for the Hero
- Episode XC: Gestalt
- Episode XCI: No One Stops!
- Episode XCII: Farewell
- Episode XCIII: The Shadowlord
- Episode XCIV: A World in Flux
- Episode XCV: Ending A - "Call Her Back"
- Episode XCVI: Yume
- Episode XCVII: Traum
- Episode XCVIII: Rêve
- Episode XCIX: Somnium
- Episode C: The Other Side of the Coin
- Episode CI: Gretel & Friends
- Episode CII: Kalil
- Episode CIII: Beepy
- Episode CIV: The Fifteen Nightmares
- Episode CV: I am Legend
- Episode CVI: Happy Earth Day
- Episode CVII: Dirge of Cerberus
- Episode CVIII: Not the Mama!
- Episode CIX: Duck, Duck, Goose!
- Episode CX: You Can Stop Now...
- Episode CXI: World's Best Dads
- Episode CXII: Ending B - "Lingering Memories"
- Episode CXIII: A Final Request
- Episode CXIV: Ending C - "Thank You"
- Extra: NIER Intro
- Episode CXV: Ending D - Something Very Special
- NIER Backstory: Part 1 - White Chlorination Syndrome
- NIER Backstory: Part 2 - Timeline 2003 to 2004
- NIER Backstory: Part 3 - Timeline 2005 to 2007
- NIER Backstory: Part 4 - Timeline 2008
- NIER Backstory: Part 5 - Timeline 2009
- NIER Backstory: Part 6 - Timeline 2010 to 2011
- NIER Backstory: Part 7 - The Legion
- NIER Backstory: Part 8 - Timeline 2014 to 2016
- NIER Backstory: Part 9 - Timeline 2018 to 2030
- NIER Backstory: Part 10 - Timeline 2032 to 2033
- NIER Backstory: Part 11 - Timeline 2049
- NIER Backstory: Part 12 - Timeline 2764 to 3276
- NIER Backstory: Part 13 - Timeline 3287 to 3300
- NIER Backstory: Part 14 - Timeline 3361 - 3366
- NIER Backstory: Introduction - The Investigation Report
- Stories from NIER - Around the World in 80 Days