Part 50: Freedom of Choice
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...
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What's up?
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Hm?
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Oh. I was just thinking, we can't really call it Sunny Hill anymore.
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...guess not.
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I am so tired. That was a long walk. And a long fight.
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See where the grass is all worn down there? That's my spot. No-one else ever came up here. I always thought that was weird.
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Right here. Behind the monolith, so I didn't have to look at Rhoan, or anything but blue sky and green fields. This is where I'd go for a few hours to pretend I was the only person alive.
In my cottage, I slept with a hard bed, a thin blanket, and memories. Here...
I knelt down and ran my hand along the grass. Still as soft as ever. Even now, nothing reached my ears but birdsongs on gentle winds. And once I closed my eyes, it didn't matter if it was sunny or not.
The perfect resting place. Just lie down in the little rut you made and forget everything.
I stood.
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There'll be plenty of time to sleep when this is over.
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...
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I mean, after you beat Kullervo. When
that's over.
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Will there be?
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Well.
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Probably.
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I don't think an hour or two would matter much. We can wake you if anything happens.
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I can manage. Really, I've spent most of my life trying not to fall asleep.
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Because of the dreams?
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Maybe. That's the obvious answer, I suppose. I don't know.
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Maybe it's just from worrying about what might be gone when I woke up.
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...
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You know, you can't be sure if your family just left. It could be something forced them. Or-
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Mieli. It's been years. There is nothing you can say here that I haven't already thought about.
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I wasn't talking about them anyway.
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I always knew. She wasn't just a little sick. I knew every time I knocked on her door, there was a chance she wouldn't be there anymore. I just kept myself busy, tried not to think about it.
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But when you're lying in bed, all you can do is think.
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Do you think she'd forgive me if I brought her back?
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Technically she has nothing to forgive you for. She doesn't know what happened.
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Yeah, but I'd
tell her.
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...hmm.
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Does it matter? If you're going to do the right thing, you'll just have to accept that it might be a while before she can trust you again. I'm sorry, but that's the way it is.
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What if this isn't the right thing, though?
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You don't want to see her again?
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No. I mean, I do, but that's just it. I only want to see her because I want to see her. This isn't about me.
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Let's say I do it. I get her out of the book, make her healthy. Keep her safe from the monsters. Maybe eventually she stops blaming herself for her parents. She finally gets a chance to be happy. And then the world ends and she can't appreciate any of it. It's all for nothing.
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She should be able to come back. But not to this.
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...
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I want her to live a long, happy life, without ever being sick or losing her family or having a selfish friend. I want her to see the world at its best. And I want the world to see her at her best.
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So if I'm here to ask for a miracle, one miracle, that's what it should be.
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Think you can manage that? You're the one who took her. Not me. You have to make this right.
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Haven't you destroyed enough? Isn't it time you fixed something for once? Maybe
then you can sit there and judge us.
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...
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Can I tell you all something?
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When the book showed up, I didn't want anything to do with it at first. Rempo had to stop me leaving it in the field and going home.
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To be fair, that was after a dude tried to kill you for it. Understandable.
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Yeah. But even so. If I could go back to that moment, knowing everything I do now, I'm still not sure I'd keep it. I know it's important and all, but honestly?
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I kind of hate this thing.
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That makes two of us.
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Five of us.
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I've been meaning to ask. When the world is destroyed, it's because there's something wrong with it. Right? You said it'd been "corrupted" or something.
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Yes. To wipe the slate clean. That's what this is for.
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So what if the new world was good enough that it didn't need to be destroyed?
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...
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Is that the point of all this? Or are we just meant to keep getting swept away with the dirt when we make a mess?
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I suppose an ideal world is the goal. I'm not certain it's possible, though.
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But if it was, what would happen? There'd be no need for the book anymore, right?
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Presumably.
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And what would happen to you, then?
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...I don't know.
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Look, don't worry yourself about this now. Just do what you can.
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Don't tell me not to worry about it. How can I not worry about it? It's the only thing anyone'll care about in the end.
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You said "I don't know if it's possible." Not "I know it's not possible." Isn't it worth a try? Don't you wish you didn't have to do this anymore?
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Of course, but...
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But
what? That's good enough!
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This is the problem! I'm supposed to have been doing this for the new world, for the people there, but I'm never even going to see them. How can I give my life to that? How can anyone?
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This whole time, I've had the ones I should have been fighting for right in front of me. And I've just been looking through them for people who don't even exist yet.
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Fana deserved better than this, and so do all of you. And I've already done what I can for her. So now I just have to make a good world for you four.
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...so we can see it at its best.
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And so it can see you.
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...
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Easy, right?
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Easy.
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Well listen, we can talk about this all day, but it's kinda moot until Kullervo's ass has your boot in it.
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Go get that done first. Then we can worry about...
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What?
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What happened to your arms?
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Nothing. What...
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What?
What?
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What?!
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WHAAAAAT
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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Why is he screaming?
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His shackles!
My shackles!
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Look! Everyone, look! No more chains! Yumil!
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I need to shake hands with someone. Everyone. Right now. Stick 'em out, people.
Ahhh!
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What? What's wrong?
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...I can see.
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I can see! I can see, I can see!
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And my eyes hurt. Ow.
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Wait, no. I'm not keeping them closed.
I can see.
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Wait, so...did I do this? I don't get it.
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Say again? You're too quiet!
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Oh, sorry. I'm too high up.
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...I'm too high up.
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Look how high up I am! I'm not even trying!
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Where is everyone? I can't tell what anything is.
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Rempo! Come here! I want to look at you!
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I'm right here, man. Waving at you. Because I can wave now. Hello, you beautiful bastards.
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Okay. And you're...Mieli?
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Yes!
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Where's Neaki?
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Neaki?
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...
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Are your shackles gone? Can you speak?
....ah.
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Did you hear that? Was that her?
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Try saying something!
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Neaki, can you say your name?
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...
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Come on, try it! Neaki. You can do it. Ne-a-ki.
Mm. Ah.
N. Nuh. Nn-nee. Ki.
Nee-ki.
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Well done. Well done.
Neeki. Neeki.
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Listen to that. Doesn't she have a lovely voice?
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God. I'm sorry. I think I'm going to cry.
Mmy-lee. Mylee.
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Yes I am. Excuse me.
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Why did this happen? Are you all leaving?
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Huh?
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You're not shackled to the book anymore, right? What does that mean? You're not going away, are you?
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...I suppose we could, couldn't we? If we wanted to?
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...
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Okay.
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Let's say that's true. Let's say we could all bail out now, without being chained right back up, and leave Yumil. This kid who wants to make a perfect world for us. We all just go on our way and leave him to fend for himself.
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Does that sound good to any of you? Is that even in the realm of maybe?
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No.
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No.
Nn-nn.
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Exactly. So big fucking deal. I have hands. I have my goddamn hands back. That's all this means to me. I've still got a job to do, and so do all of you. Let's make it happen.
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...that's it.
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That's why we're free. We don't have to be told anymore. We have a reason now. We chose.
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How do you know that?
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...
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I don't. We've never known why the book does anything, have we? Perhaps this is all just a whim.
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Right now, though, I'm sticking to the first theory. Because it is a much happier one and I like it.
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My god. This really is beautiful.
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Hey, let's see a show of hands!
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For what?
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NOTHING, ANYTHING, WHO CARES
Big thanks to
moongardener, who provided this awesome picture and my new avatar
free of charge. You are a queen, madam. Be sure to click for the full-size version!