Part 1: Introduction
Introduction (AFAIK, all the music in this update was composed specifically for the game)
: Our heroes rush off as the curtain draws. I'm not making gifs for this LP, but their comical puppet-hopping almost tempted me.
: Like every AA game, we start the story with a murder most foul. Not murder of A fowl though. Foul fowl might be involved though (and that's the level of wordplay, you may as well get used to it)
: It's midday already. Where on Earth is that feather-head...
: Ugh. Too early for worms. Pass the Cabernet Sauvignon.
: There'll be time for that later. We've got business to handle first.
: It's probably just more junk mail. Go ahead, Sparrowson, you may have the honors.
: Alright. ~Ahem~ "Dear Monsieur Falcon, I am writing to you today because my daughter, Dame Caterline, has been arrested for a crime she did not commit. She is being held at la Conciergerie prison on the charge of murder, no less. Her trial is in three days' time. I would be greatly in your debt if you would offer her your legal aid. Yours sincerely, Seigneur Purrtoir Demiaou of the Demiaou estate."
: Well this is quite something...
: I know! Your first serious client in months!
: Not just that. The Demiaou estate is well known for its exuberant wealth. Even if we cannot do much for Dame Caterline, his Lordship would still reward us handsomely for our efforts.
: Wow! So I suppose you intend on defending Dame Caterline in court?
: Per tradition, we must always
:I think not, Sparrowson. The fate of a fatcat bourgeois is none of my concern. Pass the Cabernet Sauvignon already.
: I thought about keeping a running tab of terrible puns, but then I decided not to.
: What?! With all respect, Falcon, we've been doing nothing for the past two weeks. Anything would be better than another day of thumb-twiddling.
: We'll keep going until we encounter a non-standard gameover or bust.
: No. Ive made up my mind.
: Okay. Fine. Can we at least play some cards to pass the time?
: Now there's a marvelous idea. But what game? We don't really have enough players for Tapp-Tarock or Cego...
: I know! There's this game I learned at university called Jacques-Noir.
: Three guesses as to what game we're talking about and as to what it's actually called in French.
: Jacques-Noir? That sounds dubious...
:No, no, its a real game! Let me tell you how it works.
: I think we all know how videogame blackjack works. I guess it's mostly there to show off Grandville's art that the developers couldn't fit into the game proper. I replayed the tutorial a dozen or so times, because the AI always cheats like a motherfucker - except when I'm trying to record for the LP. In any case:
: What do you think? Are you getting the gist of it?
: Yeah, I think I've got a handle on it.
: Alright! Now we can make this interesting. How do you feel about a little wager?
: Sounds good. What did you have in mind? One franc per round? Two?
: No, no. I was thinking of something else...
: I'm intrigued. Go on.
: We play one round. If I win, you have to take on Dame Caterlinés case.
: That sounds like quite a hefty wager. What do I get if I win?
: I-if you win? I...
: ...You must go on a diet. No chocolate, pastries, or cakes for one month.
: (Anime sweatdrops) W-why? What could you possibly get out of me going on a diet?
: Absolutely nothing. But it will be immensely satisfying to watch you writhe in hunger as you munch on celery sticks and carrots.
: You're a cruel bird, Falcon. But we have a deal. Pass me the deck.
: The AI cheats like a motherfucker. I mean, we wouldn't have a game otherwise, but the same is true in regular games of "Jacques-Noir" as well.
: Welp, looks like I won. How about that.
: What! No way, you cheated! You didnt shuffle those cards properly! Lets go again, two out of three.
: How does that American proverb go, Falcon? Don't hate the player. Hate the game.
: Ugh. This is my punishment for gambling on a made-up card game, isn't it? Fine. We'll take the case.
: Excellent. My derrière was getting tired from all this sitting around. Oh, but I better file away Seigneur Demiaou's letter first. One moment, Falcon.
: Instead of Wright's semi-physical pocket dimension of evidence, we have a... semi-physical pocket dimension filing system. The items within which we can still use as we travel around the gameworld.
: ...Again. I recall you losing it at the New Years' party. And at Christmas...
: Yes, alright. No need to make a list.
: Our funds actually depend on how well we do in our cases, and MATTER for investigation purposes.
: Let's make a move!
: Locations with a clock next to them will take one day to visit, and we CAN waste our time to no avail (if we feel like it)
: Locations that don't have a clock next to them don't take up any time. But they're mostly just short interludes that don't produce any clues.
: I was just procrastinating.
: Well, stop it! We need to get back to helping Dame Caterline.
: Alright, I'm ready. Let's go!