Part 58: INTERVIEW: Ancora
You've been pulled from stasis to answer a few routine questions. I trust you've already been briefed on the situation?
Yes, I think. It still doesn't explain anything...
That's all you need to know. First, please give me your full name and occupation.
Is this a court of law?
I don't have to answer anything then. Hmph!
You are Greta Penmill, and you are a student. Is this information correct?
I guess. What do you even know about anything, anyway?
I know I have these questions, and the earlier they're answered, the earlier you can go back to bed.
For your first question, what is your birthday?
My birthday? Don't you have that info noted down on that clipboard of yours there?
Please answer the question instead of questioning it.
Twins, huh? What is your favorite color?
It's green. I just like green things, okay?
You're pretty bratty, aren't you?
What do you expect me to act like when you pull me out of bed? I don't wake up easily.
Anyway... That's enough for the introductory questions. Now, I have a few in-depth questions to ask.
Well? Go ahead already.
What is your favorite animal?
This helmet might be representing a bear, but I definitely don't like bears too much. Maybe a cat? Though, I'm probably only saying that because I have one at home... Felines are cool, I guess. Leopards might be my favorite? I know it's my mother's favorite animal, so maybe it runs in the family. Tigers, lions, and leopards are all pretty nice. Dangerous, though...
Okay, that's enough. The animal itself would make a fine answer, no need to expand on the subject so much.
So what? Do you want me to answer or not?
Sigh... Do as you please as long as you answer the question, then. The next question is... Do you believe in curses?
Of course not. Who would believe in that kind of thing? Curses aren't real, just like ghosts and Santa. Um... maybe I shouldn't say that kind of thing out loud... What if they were real...?
I promise I'll convince my parents to widen our chimney so you don't get stuck this year. And ghosts, I'm sorry too. Don't haunt my family. As for curses... yeah, they still don't exist. But if you mean curse words, of course they exist. I don't want to use them, unlike someone I know...
(Oh, so that's why your counterpart refused to swear.)
What? What did you say?
Nothing, never mind that. What is your favorite desert?
Isn't that kind of weird to ask?
Answer the question.
Are you sure that's what was written on your clipboard, and not dessert?
Oh, you're right. The writing was smudged a little.
Cool, so I get to have a two-for-one special... I sure wouldn't be eating sand, so my favorite dessert is not the Sahara. It'll be weird, but bear with me... It's baklava. What? It's not that weird? Most people don't seem to know what I'm talking about when I mention it. Then again, most kids don't know anything...
What is the most useless talent you have?
No quip? No funny remark? No fourth wall breaking?
What do you mean?
We have to go through another four questions, so let's hurry it up.
Fine, fine... I'm good at jump rope. That's it, that's the answer. It's useless, because when is it ever going to come up? Am I going to be held at gunpoint by a madman who tells me if I don't do a thousand jumps without tripping, I'll go six feet under? Of course not! See? It's totally useless that I'm good at jump rope.
What if I told you that there was a competition with a prize pool of a thousand dollars if you could do it, though?
Well, now that's a different story, but I don't think people care about jump rope competitions...
At any rate, the next one is more personal. Who in My Emptiness would you rather be with?
Whaaaat? You're asking me who I would DATE?!
It's in the list of questions, yes.
They're all complete monsters, and I have absolutely no interest in any of them. Actually... can I say my sister? It's not weird, right? I don't want to make it weird, and it wouldn't be like a date anyway. But I'd rather just be with my sister. Even if what she did is a bit inexcusable too... at least she's family.
Speaking of My Emptiness, would you kill all the other participants just to get the traitor?
Huh? What do you mean, a traitor? I'm the traitor, in a sense. But I wouldn't kill any of them at all. I don't want to kill anyone. All I want is to go back home with my parents and my sister. Can I go now?
We're almost done... but no, you won't be able to go. We'll put you back in stasis after this is over.
Whaaaat? That's dumb!
Do you think you can beat Tristitia in an arm-wrestling contest?
What does that have to do with the stasis?
Nothing, just answer it.
If I don't answer your question, I get to stay up longer, right?
If you answer my question, we'll let you have an arm-wrestling contest with Tristitia, and if you win, then you'll be allowed to leave.
Alright! That sounds like a deal. And yes, I could definitely win, especially if it's to get out of here. You know about rats, right? When rats get cornered by a cat, they bite back. When you have nothing to lose, you can do anything. That way, if you put me in front of Tristitia and we have an arm-wrestling contest... I'll definitely win to get out of here.
Very well. Let's see how that goes.
A few minutes later, she was stuffed back in her vat, kicking and screaming.
And with that, we're done, it seems. Thank you all for participating. I hope you enjoyed this little interview.
Any further questions will be declined. Log complete.