Part 19: Episode XVI (Part 1): Hydras Are Not Humorous
Well, that could have gone better...
At the end of the previous scene we are immediately thrust into the menu screen. You know how Kid kind of took a throwing dagger across arm and awkwardly fell head first into the water whilst losing consciousness...?
Yeaaaaa... It might be a good idea to strip her of all equipment and elements. Just a hunch.
Some time later...
Music: A Child Lost in Time
Serge awakens in the bed of an obese woman who definitely should not be wearing a halter top... I do not like where this is heading.
Let's just go ahead and hurry on out of this room. I feel it is for the best.
Huh. Everyone made it unscathed. That seems...entirely improbable. But hey. Video games!
"No sweat. It's just part of my job as a ferryman. But I have to admit, you caught me by surprise when you came fallin' from the sky. You're lucky that it was the sea thatCHA fell into and not the rocks!"
"So lemme get this straight...you just happened to be squatting in the cliffs behind a military fortress with your raft?"
"And I am the only one that finds that suspicious...?"
"How could you get knocked out from such a short fall!? As for me... A little graze like this...ain't gonna...knock...me...down..."
Kid collapses to the floor mid-sentence...
"There's a clinic in this village. We should take her there. C'mon, I need your help, too!"
A trip to the ER later...
"I would say the most she has to live is about two days... If we had some Hydra Humour we would be able to neutralize the poison..."
"Right... Umm... Ah!"
"So a Hydra walks into a bar and asks the barkeep what he has on tap. The barkeep goes down the list of all the gin and whiskey and whatever else they've got to offer. But the Hydra just says it wants two pitchers of water. The barkeep asks why he came into a bar if all he wanted was water. The Hydra leans over the counter and says he was de-hydrated!"
"...Oh I get it. Ha."
"...No... I mean 'humour' as in blood. Not bad jokes..."
"R-Right... Just...trying to...l-lighten the mood!"
"Yes, but that's impossible now. Hydras are now extinct in El Nido..."
"What do you mean, 'extinct?' What's goin' on!?"
"No longer exist. Hunted to oblivion. Happened a couple decades ago. In fact, you shouldn't even know what a Hydra is, kiddo."
Doc and his bizarre looking assistant explain that every part of the Hydra was extremely valuable and thus they were hunted to extinction for a quick buck and it's such a shame humans are jerks and yadda yadda yadda.
"If we could cross the sea to the mainland, there might be a chance, right...?"
"...That is not possible. The currents of El Nido are extremely dangerous, this time of year. It is highly improbable to cross the sea unless you are on a large vessel... Even if you manage to get there, your chances of finding Hydra Humour are bleak... We don't have much time."
Read: No, you cannot leave the world map. Do not ask.
Doc wanders off mumbling that he needs to be alone. Some physician...
Korcha gives chase after Doc, only to get apparently uppercut back through the door.
Harle saunters into the room. I guess with Kid out of commission our silly accent quota was lacking. Glad someone is here to fix that.
"Serge, mon ami, why don't we just leave her be?"
"Who are you, and what's with that strange costume!?"
"Se taire! I have no business wit' no chicken-hawk. I am having a converzation wit' Serge. You're bothering moi, so keep your mouth shut."
"I ain't gonna letCHA barge into this room and get away with all the stuff you've said! You're made me mad. I'll show ya some manners! I'm not gonna cutCHA any slack just because you're a girl!"
"Oh? You are not ze femme? Hah ha. Quite ze pitiful bulge for one wearing such tight panties, monsieur."
It seems Korcha has severe anger issues in addition to dressing like a pants on head retard (so to speak.) He proceeds to spastically rush the woman who had the audacity to make fun of his ginger mohawk.
The harlequin teleports away leaving the pantsless moron scratching his ill-shaven head.
"Ahahaha! You're amuzing."
"Ahaha, such a simpleton. It'z so much fun playing jokez on you. I waz only here to see how she waz doing, but I had fun while I waz at it. So long, Serge, au revoir, mon ami! Please dream of moi every night! Oui!"
Harle blows another kiss to Serge and teleports away. Korcha whines like a little bitch some more but nobody wants to hear that.
Kid is nice enough to briefly awaken to shut up the raging fisherman and maybe advance the plot briefly.
Kid hands over the Astral Amulet plot device. An amulet...those never are of any use in manipulating time and space. I wonder why she wants us to have it?
"Where did...it all start? Where...do angels...lose their way...? ...Try to...remember...Serge. I'm feelin' a bit tired... I'm gonna rest up...for a while..."
Kid passes out again...
"On top of that, there's no way to get to the mainland and El Nido isn't that small a place. Are you gonna take a one-in-a-million chance to search for this thing, just to save a girl you barely even know?"
Welp, it is time for another big branching point.
Please use spoiler tags in regards to the immediate effects of the decision. Discussing gameplay traits is cool.
"So, whatCHA gonna do? You gonna help her or not?"
A.) I don't know... (Do not help Kid) - "Let's see...the thing we need for the antidote does not exist locally...there is no way to get anywhere where we could find it...and we have fuck all time to actually track it down if we could..."
B.) Find a way to save her. - "Well..I guess it can't hurt to try..."
Doc Official Art - Issuing a strange amount of prescriptions for medicinal marijuana.
A Child Lost in Time