Part 62: Episode LVI: Startling Tales From El Nido
Well, that is the last of Guldove we'll be seeing for a while. But, the stench of fish musk will linger with us for many moons to come. In any case, there are a load of Level 7 Techs and other trinkets we can pick-up with far less hassle than Karsh's whole adventure. So, let's stop by and nab a few of 'em while we're in the area, shall we?
Our first stop is the Bend of Time with our freakishly large hands possessing bunny girl, Janice. We simply need to take her to speak with the talking octopus under the lamp post and...
"Looks to me like the god of combat has taken a liking to you..."
"Here, take this. You should be able to use it wisely, young lady."
And, that's it. No, you do not get a gold star if you can correctly identify the reference.
Next up, we'll be taking a walk through Home Shadow Forest with our old pun named pal Funguy. I think he could use a mild mindfuck. We haven't ruined his life much lately, after all.
Music: Forest of Illusion
We need to return to the cavern we had our first ill fated meeting with the guy and fed him strange, mutagenic 'shrooms. It seems there are new mushrooms growing where he was morphed into his sad current state.
Of course, being the addled idiot that he is, his first instinct is to devour the strange fungus. Since that went just swimmingly last time, right?
"Oh well... Bottoms up!"
"Your funeral... Do mushrooms have funerals....? I dunno... Don't expect a big service if you keel over, chief."
"Ahhh! You almost gave me a heart attack!"
"You're not going to eat your own children, are you?"
"Whoa! You're the offspring from my spores!"
"That's right, daddy! We're comin' with you!"
"I've got nothin'..."
And so Funguy gains horrific man-mushroom hybrid spawn to aide him in battle. Or warming the bench. Yeah...probably that.
Rounding off our upgrade fest will be a quick spin by our Home home village of Arni with pals Starky and Orcha. Well, our pal Starky and reluctant ally for no real reason Orcha.
Music: Home Village Arni
You may recall the similarly framed culinary practitioner running a restaurant in Arni (the one with the barrel that is just a barrel.) As it turns out, this Chef Belcha is Orcha's brother, don'tCHA know?
"Here, bro. I wantCHA to try it out."
"Let's give it a try... Hey, not bad, bra!!! Looks like you've refined your taste a notch, bra!"
The two then proceed to do the Truffle Shuffle and Orcha powers up. Given Orcha's...unique...tastes...I think I'll refrain from asking what the special ingredients in the stew might be...
While we're in the neighborhood, we can take Starky to check out that huge swordfish on display. Look, it's impressive and all...but it's been like a month since the game began. That thing has GOT to be ripe by now... Anyway, when Starky approaches the fish, its stomach will begin glowing.
"Oh, this here sawfish? I caught it near the El Nido Triangle. Why do you want to know? By the way, shorty, you alright with that fish bowl over your head? Your face is all blue."
"Noo problem foor Starky. Blue is fiine with mee."
"The alternative is red and you'll need a change of clothes from the aftermath."
"Doon't try this at hoome, thoough."
"Can Starky taake back what's miine?"
"Ohh...well, if it belongs to you then be my guest."
Starky slowly floats his way up and presumably violently guts the fish with his terrifying spaceman technology.
It turns out Starky's radioactive death ray had been swallowed by the fish. This is the best pistol weapon in the game and Starky can loan it out to Norris for overpowered technology boosts. Pretty handy. Shame everyone in the better vicinity of the display now is just riddled with cancer.
Starky floats back to terra firma...
"Youu are welcome."
"Hey, you have great manners, shorty. But that's my line. Just a thanks will do. There aren't too many like you these days. I wish kids would be more courteous like you."
Hey, item narrator! Who pissed in your coffee? Sheesh.
Well, I think that's enough dicking around with B-List character enhancements. I think it's time to take down another dragon. Our next target is our former benefactor and provider of minty cool breath: the Water Dragon.
"Sure thing lady. Just gotta have quick word with yer dragon."
"I'd be glad to pass along any message you might have."
"Well, ya see... by 'have a word' I really mean 'beat into submission'."
"W-What?! But...but why?!"
"Cuz that's just life, sweetheart. You'll notice I'm totally not a human so don't go getting all preachy with the 'oh humans are so evil' crap. I've got another dragon with me and a parasitic sentient mustache mind controlling some poor dude with me, if you've gotta problem?"
"Have a good one!"
We've already seen the path to the Water Dragon earlier during the whole purge of the dwarven species ages ago. So, let's just cut to the chase.
Music: Garden of the Gods
"My powers I shall grant to the ones who seek to break the eternal chains of fate. What is it thou seeketh?"
"Uhh...your mystic token dealiewow would be nice."
"Dost thou need the powers of the Sleeping Dragons to cross the Dead Sea?"
"Something like that... Look, I'm barely following this crap anymore... Can we just get this over with?"
"Dost thou seeketh to break the chains of fate? A son of man to challenge the Goddess of Fate?"
"Fascinating... Then confront my trials..."
"Gah! Geez...some warning next time you show off your freaky dental work, dude."
Okie dokie. Time for our second dragon battle: the rather acne prone Water Dragon. I'm pretty sure you are meant to fight this one first, as it is by far the easiest battle of the lot and also the most readily available to do combat with minimal fuss beforehand.
The Water Dragon is a far cry in strength from her Black brother. It only hits once or twice with physical strikes for maybe 50 damage total. It also has a good 1100 HP less than its predecessor (2800 HP). As I said, this basically easy mode for what to expect in these fights.
The Water Dragon only has a single unique tech in the insta-tidal wave blast it'll occasionally fire off. It also has access to the usual stable of mid-to-high level Blue innate elements. There's really not much more to say than that.
Unlike the Black Dragon, whom flipped his shit if its elemental weakness was used against it, the Water Dragon will just eat the damage with no further complaint or retaliation. So, any Red innate characters like Draggy can bring a pretty decent hurting to the old scaly gal.
Of course, Fargo ought to do what he does best and nab the Blue Plate special from the best before it is downed. Gotta catch 'em all!
Well, that was not very difficult in the least. And hey, another Level-up for our troubles.
The game also teases us with another new summon. All the Dragons' summon drops are Level 8 elements and thus mostly unavailable for some time, as characters are still struggling to reach Level 7 unlocks at this point in the game.
"Thy strength is worthy of my powers. Take with thee my prayers..."
"Err...could really use the thingamaj...oh, there we go..."
And so we get the lovely Paperweight of Water. Brilliant.
"Now GET OUT!"
Janice's asks "What's Up Doc?"
Funguy's Myconoids Tech
Orcha's Dinner Guest