Part 79: Episode LXXII: Collected Stores From El Nido
Welp, time to clean shop back in Home World with the last round-up of those elusive Level 7 techs and assorted power-ups. Home World has a bit more in the way of loose ends. So, let's get crackin'.
First Story: Leena and the Forgotten Promise
Our first trip takes us back to our starting location of Arni Village for one final visit.
Music: Home Village of Arni
This one probably has the biggest "fuck you" requirements of the entire character roster. We must have Leena in our party, of course. But also, we must have...
Answered this question during the first twenty minutes of the game correctly! Yes, if you're a jerk to Leena while she's rambling about dopey shit on Opassa Beach like the most world wary 16 year old ever...forty hours later! Ha! Fuck you! No Level 7 Tech for her!
Roberta Williams would be proud.
While I was a jerk to her in the LP because...well, honestly fuck Home Leena's bitchy ass. I did go back and answer correctly like a nice, obedient, totally whipped Serge.
"Don't fret over it, grandma. I'm sure Serge will explain it to you one day."
"You are assuming entirely too much..."
"By the way, Serge. Leena tells me that you still remember the promise you two made. Something about 'we'll never forget this day!'"
"Oh, did she...? Eh...I forgot what that was all about. Been kinda a rough few months..."
"I really don't know what's going on, but... Here! I want you to take this."
And so because Serge nodded his head yes to his harpy of a girlfriend before the adventure even began, her doppelganger from another dimension gets powered up two months later. Sure...why not?
"OK! Thanks, grandma!"
"I...don't even want to know what the hell that is alluding to..."
Second Story: Fuck Poshul
"It feels as if you're distancing yourself from me..."
"Welp, I've gone out, seen the world. Both of em. I now have like a half dozen other hot chicks following me around. Including a much less unbalanced, clingy version of yourself. So, that's probably a decent reason why..."
"Well, that's fine, but... I just want you to be safe, OK...? I know! Let me give you this, Poshul! You take care, too."
"PO-SHU-SHU! Thankth, Leena! Me will do my betht!"
"From the bench. Forever. Where's the nearest Record of Fate...?"
And there is the last time we will ever use that godawful pink, mush-mouthed abomination in our active party.
Third Story: Skelly the Big Boned Boy
Our next trip takes us back to Porre occupied Termina for our next handful of upgrades.
Music: Home Termina
The next one simply requires Skelly be in the active party and takes a trip to Termina's bar for a rather nonsensical chat.
"Hmm... I wish I could, but I'm out of supplies because of the fuss around here recently..."
"O-Oh man, that's uncool..."
"You do indeed know you're a skeleton, right? You lack not only a throat, but a stomach and also innards in general to do anything with food but have it fall in a mess on the ground all over your oversized clown shoes... And you lady... Seriously...? It's a clown skeleton asking for some pasta. No reaction...? Not even a raised eyebrow?"
"Hey, don't look so sad! OK, I know! Let me try to cook something up for you somehow!"
"Really...? You're just going along with this...?"
Some time later...
"...This texture, the balance of sweetness and bitterness, this is it!!! Man, I never thought that I'd ever eat pasta like this again! I'm a happy soul!!!"
"Ugh, dude...it is like getting everywhere. I'm gonna be pissed if you splash that gunk on my shoes."
"You're exaggerating too much... Come to think of it, I remember a boy long ago who loved that same dish. He'd keep on eating more and more, until I was afraid that he'd drop from eating too much! Actually, he got pretty fat because of it... I wonder what that boy is doing now..."
"Oh? Hey! What's the matter?"
"I think that boy in your story went on the worst dieting regiment ever... Heh."
"If you cry too hard, you're going to turn that into tear-water pasta!"
"I'd still like to know how the hell that works..."
"Actually, no... I think I'm okay with just switching over to apathy..."
"I'll always remember this place and your cooking!"
"Haha, you can come back anytime! I'll whip up something special for you again!"
Aww...she's implying that I'll actually ever have Skelly in my party again. How sweetly naive.
"Little late on that one..."
Fourth Story: Viper and the Spirit of the Acacia Dragoons
This next one just requires Viper be in the party to speak with the same barkeeper. After seeing Viper is inexplicably alive despite vanishing and/or time nuking, she'll unlock the back room where we recruited ZOAH in Another World.
Music: Dragon Knight
Here, a grand flag of the fallen Acacia Dragoons is proudly displayed and causes Viper to burst with Patriotic Power™.
"A vision of the golden emblem, withstanding even the most biting of winds, comes back to life... Oh glorious days, come back to me once again...!!!"
A flash of white light envelops the room and masks they couldn't bother animating the flag being taken down.
Viper receives his final tech. But, not only that. He also receives a "Dragoon's Glory" accessory. This raises attack strength, magic strength, and accuracy several points when equipped. But, there's one other thing that can be done here...
This tech side quest is bugged. If the party leaves the room, turns right around, and clicks on where the flag was formerly hung, then Viper will go through his whole spiel again and receive yet another FlagBearer tech. But, more importantly yet another Dragoon's Glory accessory! This can be redone as many times as you want until you have a shit load of very nice accessories and an unnecessary number of Viper's final tech (yes...multiple can be equipped if you feel like permanently squandering addition element slots.)
Fifth Story: Greco and the Afterlife Championship Belt
This final visit in Termina just requires Greco to come along for the ride to his alternate house. Simple enough.
"The spirits here will wake if you disturb them. Living beings are too radiant for the spirits... Just last night, a man's spirit appeared at my bedside... He said his name was 'Ghetz' or something. He's probably another lost soul still attached to this world. Very common around here. In any case, it's nothing concerning you. Now, run along and go home."
"You heard the lady..."
"Urgh... Seems that man's spirit has arrived."
The women gets promptly possessed by said spirit...
"Is that you, Ghetz!? Why are you here?"
"Hmm, it's been a while, Greco... I have been waiting here for you a long time, but you have finally arrived, as I hoped. By the looks of it, Romana is doing well."
"Geez...another ghost related family drama bomb... This is getting ridiculous. Eh, Sk..."
"I hate my life..."
"No words needed, Greco. I already know. But that's a thing of the past. Besides, it was something I chose. You have no need to regret. My only worry was how Romana is doing... Now, I am relieved. "
"After my death, you have carried out my will for me. My spirit still lives within you. Carry it within you. Gradually, your sorrows shall fade away. I'll be waiting for the day I see you again... I will leave this with you. Farewell, Greco."
And so Greco went on to marry a rich old white man for his money. The end.
Sixth Story: Steena and the Vague Dream of Garai
This next one involves once more going back to a previously explored dungeon with a character that had absolutely no relation with said dungeon the first time around...
Music: Island of the Dead
So, for this one we need to have already obtained Steena's Level 5 Tech and then take a visit back to Garai's grave with her. Don't ask me why. At no point has Garai and Steena been remotely connected. But...there ya go...
"I understand... I shall fall heir to your dream..."
And that's that... This is the third person now (along with Glenn and Radius) that ramble on about some dream Garai had that is never once elaborated upon. For all we know, he dreamed of one day tag team with Yoshimitsu to fight Rock. Since, who the fuck uses Rock when Astaroth exists?
Seventh Story: Ziggy and the Pan Dimension Jam Session
Next up is Ziggy back on the accursed S.S. Zelbess. This one requires Marbule to have been restored via awful Rock Opera.
NPC: "Hey, I'd love to jam with you some time...! How 'bout it!?"
PC: "Sure, that'd be great...! You now our mother's song, right? Teach it to me?"
NPC: "Sure thing...!"
"Oh gawd! I'll be jumping in the ocean and correcting the dimensional split if you need me."
Thankfully, we're given only a shortened version of the Ziggy Rock Opera tune before the interlude completes.
PC: "It sends chills down my spine just playing it!"
NPC: "I knew you'd like it!"
I'd pay good money to see Bowie rock out with an inter-dimensional bizarro universe Bowie. These two chucklefucks, though...? Not so much...
Eighth Story: Irenes and the Letters from Marbule
Are next stop takes us back to the recently ghost...dream...pan-dimensional monster... cleansed Marbule. Now that FATE has been defeated, the demi-humans of Marbule have finally gotten off their asses and re-settled the joint.
Well, they've really done a bang-up job of restoring the town. It looks even nicer than the consistently inhabited Another Marbule. Shame about the music selection, though.
"Actually, we're still working on it. But I'm sure we'll become the most love-filled village in the world! You wanna know why? Because for the first time ever, we've come to an understanding with humans, and we're working together to rebuild this place. That goes to show, nothing is impossible! I'm so psyched!"
"Good to hear, fish...seal...dude."
"I'm a dolphin."
"Sure, why not? Take it easy, porpoise pal."
This friendly fellow will greet us as the 100th visitor and give Serge a very nice element for free if we should leave and return at any point. Spiffy.
So yup, the demi-humans and humans have worked out all their differences and things are just peachy now. Home Fargo even got his stick lodged in his ass removed and is now BFFs with the Sage of Marbule. Good for them.
As for Irenes' final tech: we need to bring her to this doctor by the entrance to town (just right of the welcome banner.)
"There is something I wish to give you. Your parents entrusted it to me, long ago... I believe you are ready to have it."
"Oh good grief!"
"What!? From mötter and fätter!?"
So, it turns out that's not merely a stupid accent. That's really how the mermaid species reads and writes too... Mermaids are just awful...
In any case, Irenes mutters briefly about her heavily accented parents and that is a wrap.
Ninth Story: Zappa and the Forge of the Rainbow
I believe I said earlier that Zappa was another character that received his final Tech via leveling. But, he does have a rather important role outside that. The first step is taking a visit to the cave where the Black Dragon hung out in Another World.
"Weird and stupid as always. You?"
"It sure feels good to be working together towards a common goal. Maybe it's about time for me to settle down instead of going on these bogus expeditions? Err... I mean... 'audacious expeditions.'"
"Hon-ëy! Hëre's your tëa, Honëy."
"Ain't nothin' unnatural about that, boy. Ye just too young 'nd foolish to know the beauty of the sea."
"Dude, I'm 17. I wear these baggy shorts for a reason and it ain't cuz I work in the postal service. That said, still grossed out by chicks with scales where their lady bits should be..."
"Ahahah Hahaha. You caught me in an embarrassing situation."
"Honëy, ist hë a friend of yõurs?"
"Ahh, yeah... I guess so. This is Serge."
"Hey. I used to be a cat."
"Aha...haha...haha... Oh man, it's embarrassing... Well, now you know. Things happen..."
"Let's just leave out the details, pal..."
"Oh yeah, hey! I used to use this, but I want you to have it now."
Well, this is probably the least offensive of the terrible alternate text frames. But, we're still never going to use it.
The point to coming here was actually to talk to the non-fish fucker in the room. He's selling a rather pricey hammer. Though, 10,000 G is really a drip in the bucket given Serge's 275,000+ G war funds savings account.
The Master Hammer is Zappa's exclusive ultimate weapon and is pretty handy...if we ever used the Scottish blacksmith. This is looking rather unlikely. But, it has a much more important function. One that involves a trip to Another World.
A quick dimensional hop and a sprint to Termina later...
For this bit, Zappa needs to have the Master Hammer equipped and tag along to see his significantly less unemployed alternate self.
PC: "Ah need yir help. Ah want to hammer this thing to make that ye-know-what..."
NPC: "That thing ye have... It's the Rainbow! So this ye-know-what ye be talkin' about is the Rainbow Axe, then?"
PC: "Ah knew ah could count on meself... So, shall we start hammerin'? It be a wee bit hard by meself, but two of us working together should be a breeze."
"So many gross things could be implied by someone overhearing this conversation..."
NPC: "We'll see what ah can do..."
Some time later...
The two men go to work creating the most fabulous axe this side of a lumberjack gay pride parade.
PC: "Hmmm, it's probably radiating such beautiful colors because of its prismatic nature... The response from the hammer is as satisfying as its finish. It be truly an amazing material..."
NPC: "We should be able to do this on our own next time... That sure was a brilliant job. Ah hope ah can work with ye again!"
The alternate Zappa is a dick and keeps the Rainbow Axe that our Zappa did all the legwork to obtain the materials toward. But, the point is now the top tier equipment of the game can be created from the Smith's Spirit.
Forging Rainbow equipment is kind of a pain in the ass... First of all, you need a rainbow shell, of course. Those are pretty scarce to begin with and require looking friggin' everywhere or getting very, very lucky with stealing from certain bosses. On top of that, you need "shiny material"
I mentioned earlier during the Marbule liberation how you need to use Summons to gain this shiny crap. Well, you basically need to do that for every element. This more or less means going to an area with a lot of enemies of the same element you're after (usually where the assorted dragons hung out) and going to town there with summons for twenty minutes or so.
It's pretty tedious. But, them there are the breaks, fella.
Tenth Story: NeoFio and the Crimson Butterflies' Vengeance
The next leg of our journey just requires NeoFio to be in the party. Though, the actual process is a bit counter-intuitive. First, we must take a cruise to Sky Dragon Isle. It still exists in this dimension. I guess the Fused Dragon God could be bothered to raise its spooky tower in both worlds.
Here, there is an octopus critter, like from way back in Shadow Forest, which is chasing a screaming butterfly. There is nothing to be done here at the moment.
Instead, the party must bugger off for a minute to another screen on the island. Maybe take a look at the lovely view from the summit of the isle to pass the time.
They must then return to the octopus, which has apparently devoured the butterfly in the interval. Said butterfly shrieks for help.
Just clicking on the thing a few times won't do. No. Instead, Serge must push the octopus several feet to make it belch out the butterfly from the creature's gullet. There is absolutely no other NPC in the game that can be pushed. So...this isn't exactly immediately obvious.
The newly freed butterfly summons forth its posse to violently devour the half-retarded octopus for its transgression. Apparently, one should not fuck with butterflies in Chrono Cross.
Said butterflies then all thank NeoFio for her help and hand over her Level 7 tech for the assist before fluttering off... Okay...
Eleventh Story: Orlha and the Reunion Across Worlds
This final trip involves Orlha finally finding her long lost sister. It is just a simple matter of taking her to Home World's Guldove...
Wait...wasn't Home Doc a depressed mess about being a terrible doctor and having another patient dying on him...? Oh...dear... This isn't gonna end well...
"This voice...? It is so familiar. But something is different...who is this?"
"You could try looking up like she said, ya lousy stoner..."
"Oh...right. Totally, bra."
"No, I'm not Tia... Please calm down. I am Tia's twin sister, Orlha..."
"Tia's twin sister...? H-Hold on a sec! What exactly is going on?"
"Now bare with me for a sec here, Doc... Tia... You know Tia, right...?"
"Yea, dude. She's a patient of mine."
"Tia...has a *twin* sister... And this is her..."
"Sorry, we don't have much time to explain right now... Please...let me see Tia. I can feel her, even though we live in different worlds... Tia... Tia is here. Doc, I beg you..."
"...Your eyes tell me you speak the truth. I understand, I will permit you to visit, but realize one thing... It will be a painful reunion...Orlha."
"Yes, I know... But still...I must meet my sister."
"Ugh... Why does the universe hate me by making me see so many weird family moments?"
"YOU COULD ALWAYS JUST WAIT OUTSIDE."
"Pfft... Like that would work. I take one step outside and some lady will probably like give birth or some random Joe on the dock's long lost father will finally come home or some guy will be banging a mermaid. It never ends!"
Music: Departed Souls
"We do not even have a firm diagnosis of what caused her to become unconscious and collapse... Time has mercilessly passed by, while she continues to slumber."
"Have you attempted to like contact some other medical pro-ah, forget it... I already know the answer to that question..."
"Tia, can you hear my voice... Your big sister is here by your side..."
"I thought you were twins..."
"YOU ARE VERY RUDE SOME TIMES."
"Your hair, your eyes, we are both really alike... For we are twin sisters, born on the same planet..."
"Oh, Tia, how could this be... But I..."
"No, it's alright, sis... I know. I've been watching everything from my dreams... Yes, the world is not one. ...Just like our dreams, the possibilities are infinite. My long dream has ended... I am so glad...that I was able to meet you..."
"No Tia, it's not the end! No Tia...... I...I won't... I won't let it end like this! We're going to start over from the very beginning... So please...Tia. Don't go!"
"My spirit will always be with you, sis... I will always be with...you."
"...your eyes. Open your eyes and...and show me your smile once more... I beg...of you..."
Some time later...
"A miracle, brought together by a bond spanning two worlds..."
"It is truly unbelievable, for such a thing to really occur..."
"A shame the shock to her system caused her illness to finally overcome her... But man...radical about the two worlds thing."
"She will always be with you. Even though your worlds are different, you two are truly sisters. That will never change..."
"Besides, that was just like your alternate dimension sister. Your sister from your world could still be out there and maybe just still bedridden and not dead from her terminal illness... That's something..."
"NEVER BECOME A GRIEF COUNSELOR, SERGE."
"This was Tia's...take it with you."
"That blue gem..."
"Tia's spirit will always be with you, along with this blue gem... Now, Orlha, open your hands."
Orlha receives the Blue Brooch. This negates troublesome Blue innate status effects like Frozen, but is otherwise fairly unremarkable.
The party then quietly leaves Orlha to grieve her sister's passing for the evening.
Later that night...
"You were... You were my entire character back story... Now without you... What do I have left...? Waitress in a dive bar, Orlha...?" <sob>
"Oh...it can't be."
Bam! Tia's ghost out fucking nowhere!
"The split gem has crossed worlds and become one. And now, it has been passed into your hands..."
"Mother and father's prayers are...within this gem..."
"And my spirit, will be with you, sis... Please don't forget..."
Tia's ghost fades away...
Welp, we just had to cross dimensions and totally ruin Orlha's life by immediately killing off her sister two minutes after she finally reunited with her, all so her ghost could help in battle. All in a day's work for Team Serge.