Part 37: Update Thirty Five: I May Have Been Overzealous In Taking ShotsUpdate Thirty Five: I May Have Been Overzealous In Taking Shots
Welcome back, goons and goonettes, to Chrono Trigger! Last time, we took down the Tyranno Lair, saw Lavos crash into the planet, and then jumped into a newly formed Gate. Today, we'll see where that Gate took us, so let's bounce.
We hopped into the Gate with those two, which is why Marle and Frog, our voting winners, aren't with us.
Well, Robo, we came from the distant past, so we're technically in the future, but still far from our native times (except for Ayla), so we're--Y'know what, fuck it, I'm not thinking about that anymore. My head hurts already, and I don't need that sort of thought puzzle right now.
From waaay after the day after tomorrow, but the day is yesterday and it's like the next week after last week and--Forget it, Ayla, I don't fucking know where we are.
But you don't need to worry about it anymore, as Frog and Marle are here to figure it out with us.
Well, the Ice Age came like Azala predicted.
Don't know what that building is, but it's gotta be better than freezing our bits and pieces off.
I thought these things were between two buildings...
Into the weird glyph!
...What in the hell is this?
Floating islands? Are we soon going to see some dork rolling around, depleting his stamina meter?
So, I see Masa (or maybe Mune?) over there, a lady, some neckbeard, and books.
Well, that sounds pretty swank. I could always use better weap--
I don't like the sound of that.
Holy hell, enough lazy people got together to justify a city where they sleep all the time.
They're also pretty sharp up here.
What if we're dreaming and you're just part of our dream? Huh? Bet you never thought about that!
As long as Emma Stone is alive, she's the only woman without peer in the beauty department.
The Queen sounds like a nice lady. I can't wait to meet her!
Maybe this book can tell us more about where we are; the name isn't doing too much to help us.
Yes, yes, we all took Philosophy 101.
He has a point; I can't see or touch the lightning I summon from the sky, but I know it's there.
Just like I can't see or touch whatever's upsetting my stomach, but I can certainly taste it when I burp.
We're time travelers trying to fight against the Space Hedgehog that destroys the world; I can't think of any sane deity that would decide that was the best course of events for a planet. Not to mention, y'know, we've already changed certain events that had been set in stone, and prevented certain paradoxes.
For a plushie, you're certainly intellectual about this.
Hey, if we're supposed to find that door and go through it to save the world, does that mean we were destined to do so? Or are we only doing it because we now learned of it?
And that book spits water.
Ooh, maybe I can get more magic swords!
And a flyboat!
I think I'm starting to like this place.
...Hey, wait a second...
Oh, yeah, be warned, there is a lot of fucking in this update. It's a huge info/plot dump.
This lady sells items and, from what I remember, has nothing new to offer. I buy twenty Shelters, though, since I'm flush with cash and needed some.
Hey, who's that little shnook?
Besides a kid with a pimp-ass purple cat.
Marle! He's right there!
Don't look at me like that. I can't control what she says.
Well, see you later, kid.
...What did you just say?
I can agree with the party here; if some weird kid told me someone would die soon, I'd probably take a listen to what he had to say. Though, his cat seems overjoyed with this reveal.
And he's gone...Whatever.
Don't worry; we've cheated death in the past, and we'll do it again. Remember when Marle didn't exist for that while? She was fine afterward.
Free heal, and all you have to do is run over that spot.
Tell you what, when I find out, I'll come back and show you.
Alright, so we'll go butter up the Queen and get phat loot for it.
"Things have really changed since she got Netflix, though..."
Well, that covers Enhasa.
I took nearly 340 shots for this update, folks. Strap in, we've a lot more shit to see here.
For all the great tech we've seen so far, can't you guys invent snowmobiles for down here? Seriously.
Maybe it's not necessary, but snowmobiles are pretty awesome. You could make them run on magic, too, and shoot fire or whatever you need to get you hard.
Ah-ha! Magical research center city place thingy!
: We perform research in the magical arts to help further Her Majesty's plans to deliver our kingdom even greater glory.
So, magic nerds live here. Gotcha.
: It's difficult to describe, but in you I sense a strange...Kindness.
I'm sure most of the monsters we've fought would disagree heavily with that statement.
: But now, only the Guru of Life knows the art of crafting such things. And even if others did, the Queen has ordered us to abandon use of the sun's power.
Wait a second...Abandon use of solar power? Shit, the sun's always there! It won't run out for a loooooooooooooooong fucking time. I saw the Dr. Who episode where it happened and it was so far in the future, I can't even remember the year.
And the sun makes plants grow! The sun is good, because some flowers are pretty!
: However, the temple was sealed up along with the northern shrine once we turned to our new energy source. The Queen claimed we'd no need for the energy of the sun.
The Sun Stone is enshrined there, eh? I'll keep that in mind.
This Nu sells items and has the same selection as the other lady, but with some exceptions.
Not that we can actually buy those exceptions, but they're there.
You wouldn't believe some of the shit we can do with it.
Well, we did get our ability to use magic from a little Kilwala bird guy thing who became a goblin, so yeah, maybe...
Luck of the draw, I s'pose.
The Earthbound Ones?
I'm sure you'd also agree that being poor is a mental illness.
: Lady Schala's an incredible child with extraordinary magical powers. Which such a gift, her life must be all ease and luxury.
I'm going to post this next screen because it hurts my heart.
Ah, puberty. Be glad he doesn't have access to magic, or I'm sure there'd be more than random books bursting into flames.
Shit, there's a lot of words left here. We learn a ton of shit in Zeal.
I'm sure this will never be a problem for anyone.
Well, hell, no wonder he's pissed off! I'd be mad, too, if I was the only non-magical guy around in a place full of magical folks.
Yeah, I think I see one right there...
Someone beat me to the thievery? I'll bust his ass for you, if I get a couple of those tabs.
Shit, they're worth 30 TP; I'll take him out, too. But, hey, just look at it shine...
What? Oh, goddammit!
You win this round, asshole.
: I do not know the details, but I heard he has powers most uncanny.
I'm sure this is nothing.
More about this new energy source. I wonder what it is.
Gurus? God, this place just has it all, don't it?
: Over time that energy was slowly depleted, and it turned into the lightless Moon Stone.
Oh, wait, you had more to say. My bad.
I'm sure there's nothing we'll ever be able to do about this. Nothing at all. Ever.
Well, what the hell am I supposed--Wait a tic, I've an idea!
Oh, yeah, there's wind books, too. Forgot to mention that.
Ah-ha! Fire book is more than just a trick!
That passage leads us into this little room with the doll and this book.
Only time will tell how it ends.
Uh-huh...Well, okay, I'll keep an eye out for red rocks. For now, I'm going to take the doll, though.
Seriously, Chrono? You've one of these in your bedroom. You won it at the Fair.
Put this thing on the backburner for a while. That's all I'll say, and all you fuckers in the thread who want to talk about it (I know you're there), don't. Stop it! I can hear you typing about it!
You'll recall there were books like that in Enhasa, too.
So let's see what prize we can snag there.
Water does something something
Wind swirls and stuff
And ye who seek the treasure can be lit on fire.
Maybe not exactly what the Nu said, but it's close enough. And, yes, that is a Nu meditating.
Let's not disturb him and do some light reading instead.
This is the undeniable truth, because I believe it to be so. At least for the present.
Maybe that Nu can explain more; let's bug the hell out of him.
Uh, sure. Let's dance.
He clears the room and
Makes a fight that isn't exactly hard, but it still a pain in the rear.
I made a video of it for some reason.
For those of you in your right mind, who didn't watch the video, here's the highlight.
Yu're not so bad yourself.
He also gives us a Speed Capsule; I give both to Frog, who is now as fast as Chrono, and Heal is a tic better.
Alright, back to more plot stuff.
I just now realized I took this shot while the screen was darkening to switch screens.
It is perhaps the most visually interesting place we've been.
Plot dump and stuff. Standard JRPG practice, y'know?
Are...Are you asking me? Because, sure, looks good. Lemme take it out for a test spin, though, just to be sure.
Oh, wait, he wasn't talking to me.
I'd be pissed all the time if my name was Dalton.
He must have gotten his ass kicked so many times in school.
Quite fashionable, aren't we?
These next two shots are being posted because it reveals so much about Dalton's personality.
He's overdramatic, probably chews Big Pink (the only gum with the breath freshening power of ham), and kind of a fool.
We'll be back for you, Blackbird. I'll soon soar the skies.
Each of these Small Caves looks like this on the inside.
Repeat that and here we are!
Even the Palace looks like an intellectual research center.
Oh, they must use geothermal energy.
So how did the workers get down to the Ocean Palace to construct it?
Well, that's what prophets are supposed to do, buddy. It's kind of their job.
See my previous statement.
I know I like a good back scratching when I need it. I can't turn down someone in need.
With the newfound knowledge, surely saving the world will be easier than before!
They're both capitalized, so you damn well better know we'll learn about them.
This conflicts with everything else we've heard about Her Majesty.
Yep. Cleaned them out already.
: His origins are a mystery. He's not one of us Enlightened Ones, but nor is he an Earthbound One. From where could such a man have come?
Another reason why Dalton's panties are in a twist.
I swear, there's three times as many NPCs here as there is anywhere else. There's more NPCs in Zeal than there are people in Guardia.
We'll head to the left first. There's more NPC dialog!
Another mention of red stone. I wonder...
Ah, the lad Janus and Schala. Finally.
"I told some random strangers they were going to die!"
Also, if you didn't, you should click that music link above. Schala's Theme is pretty good.
I think they took the inspiration for Maeda's bullshit in Parasite Eve from this scene.
Yeah, I replayed that game lately. I rather like it.
Oop, sorry, plot going on.
A serving girl busts into the room, not saying a word to our eavesdropping party.
She's pretty chill about us just hanging out here.
There's a lot to infer about the Queen from those two lines above. It's another example of the game's good writing; they didn't state anything explicitly, but we all still know what it means for that girl.
Janus: still a little shithead.
However, Alfador, his kitty, seems perfectly fine with us.
Yeah, there's still more to look at around here.
Untold years might seem like a long time, but we've certain advantages he doesn't.
More about the Gurus. I think they were called straight-up Wise Men in the original.
But, despite hearing about them, we can't find a Guru around here anywhere.
Apparently, coincidences haven't yet been invented.
*Insert FFX joke here*
It must be something else. I mean, Lavos does also mean big fire, which could be geothermal energy.
Yes, Masa and Mune are here. But why?
Lots of snoozin' people there.
"He's a talentless lout and she's the greatest of us all! No wonder they're best friends!"
Look, she wouldn't let me sell it to Melchior, a named person, so no way in hell that you're getting it.
Imagine that, a mysterious prophet that might not be on the up and up.
He's also apparently going to be the next Darth Vader.
Yep. Not much else to do over here.
I don't like this society anymore.
: Oh, almighty Queen! Our kingdom will reign for all eternity!
If it's limitless, why the hell does it need to be magnified?
:: Excepting the Gurus, Lady Schala is the only one with such power.
Would any red stone work? Or do you need a specific rock?
Zeal must be a city of coincidences and reused names.
So, in case you hadn't guessed, the Queen isn't exactly on the up and up.
One last place to go in here, so let's get to it.
Thankfully, Schala, after her reconstructive knee surgery, doesn't move as quick as you'd expect.
Hey, wait a second!
I've seen that before, even with that same glow. And that door, too...
Don't worry, we're protagonists. We've pretty much got passes to go everywhere.
Yeah, yeah, whatever. Let's get in there.
Alright, plot advancement!
Hey, wait a minute!
In case you'd forgotten that Frog is, actually, a humanoid frog.
Maybe I should have done this before going to the Mammon Machine.
Damn me and my inability to recognize update flow!
Wahoo! Now we have the shiny pendant!
I don't know, but I still have tons of screenshots left!
No wonder Queen Zeal has been different lately. I'd be pissed off if I had that haircut.
Whoa, hey, how do you know we're here to oppose you? Maybe we're here to help!
Mysterious prophet, you're a dick!
Yeah, he summons a boss.
This guy is a massive asshole, and I decided to try a challenge with him.
Right now, it doesn't matter if you win or lose this fight.
He has a gimmick that can make the fight really easy if you exploit it.
I decided to try and see if I could beat him if he used only physicals; I think this is the hardest way to do this fight.
Because of this attack. It looks like magic, but it's physical.
And, yeah, it'll kill pretty much anyone in one shot. I wanted to see if I could kill him with only physicals; he has 7,000 HP and he's fast, plus with this powerful attack and he can halve a character's HP with his Iron Ball attack.
Here's Chrono's Raise spell in action. It recovers the revived character's HP by Chrono's Magic x 10.
It didn't end well for me. To see it in video, click here!
Even if we had won, Dalton comes in, gives us the finger, and blasts us to the ground with fireballs.
Also, Queen Zeal is not a nice lady.
But she is loving every second of being a bitch. I like her style.
The text box is covering it, but Chrono is giving Janus the finger right now.
"I'm the keystone in Mother's plan. I'm invincible!"
Last I knew, he was chilling out near a cave, making swords and having a sweet mustache. I don't reckon he needs any saving.
I guess prison in the distant past of magical utopia is really unsecure.
Since we're pretty close to being public enemy #1, she's onto something here.
Hey, I only have thirty shots left.
I, uh, I didn't see any mountains around here, Schala.
And I just broke 30,000 characters for this update.
I did this update this way because this is how it comes to the player; I only played a half-hour of the game, including the half-dozen Nus and the boss fight with Golem.
There is a ton of shit just dropped into your lap when playing here.
But it doesn't feel forced in or unnecessary.
This is just the point of the game where you learn all of this stuff, the natural exposition point.
Anyways, back to the game.
Sorry it's not a spaceship or something, you dick.
That is a pretty bad thing, since we have just the one path to get to 12,000 BC. It's not like 1,000 AD with a couple of different Gates around.
He's very Emperor Palpatine in this scene.
Chrono looks way too thrilled right now for what's actually happening.
Also, good God, Schala must be powerful. Sealing up a Gate cannot be an easy task, since it's basically a tear in time.
Don't worry, Schala. You did the right thing.
Well, shit, what do we do now?
Frog, I think we might have bigger issues at the moment. Namely that we found a society that uses Lavos as a bigass battery.
...Oh, my God, Marle, you're a genius!
We'll do that next update, Marle! This shit is too long already!