Part 57: Update Fifty Four: And Then I Was Like, "'ey grrlfrnd, les turr up the Omen"Update Fifty Four: And Then I Was Like, "'ey grrlfrnd, les turr up the Omen"
Welcome back, folks! Last time, on Chrono Trigger, Team kicked the fucking doors off of the Black Omen and ripped up a good portion of the shit in there. Today, Team Girl Power is going to tear through another part of the Omen, using sexy kung-fu and teamwork, so let's bounce.
I did not buy a damned thing from that Nu. I almost feel bad about it, since he's having trouble making a living up here.
In this next room, there's something of definite interest. Especially if Ayla is kicking it with the party.
Blubber Hulks are good for pretty much one thing.
Besides being weak to Fire and absorbing Shadow.
I feel I can never have enough of these things.
The Hulk part of their name is apt.
As these guys can smash somebody with enough force to make even the Mighty Thor think it's excessive. Plus, it's a counter and their only attack, so if you're going to hit them, make damn sure it counts.
They also have 2,150 HP, so nuking them is the best bet to make sure someone's spleen doesn't switch places with their elbow.
Also, there are a lot of Double Techs with this team I haven't shown off. Including those with Marle and Ayla, which we haven't seen a single one of.
Gato apparently decided the carnie life wasn't his style, so he got his paint job changed, built himself a brother, and moved on up (whether or not it's to the east side is up for debate).
This is one of two attacks they have; the other is Iron Sphere, which simply halves someone's HP. They have 1800 HP, with no weaknesses, and they contributed to their own deaths more than I did, as they kept using La La La over and over again. Ayla doesn't appreciate the fine arts of hip-hop, so she beat them to death in a musical critique Louis Elson would shirk away from.
Yeah, that's right; who among you expected me to know the name of a music critic famous for being a dick?
Two of these guys were nice enough to pop open their shields off the bat to let me use this tech.
Ice Toss has a formula of (A¬Atk × 10.5) + (M¬Lv + M¬Mag × 4.75), which means it crushes ass.
Iceberg Toss is, naturally, the upgraded form of it.
(A¬Atk × 13.0) + (M¬Lv + M¬Mag × 7.25) is the formula for it; as such, that means it crushes more ass.
There's a stream of Hydracondas pouring out here, blocking access to that treasure chest.
As I was readying Flame Kick, one decided to chow down on its buddy.
Which drains all of its HP and instantly kills it. These guys are kind of fuckin' weird.
Flame Kick is pretty awesome.
(A¬Lv + A¬Pwr × 8.1) + (L¬Lv × L¬Mag × 5.7) for damage, plus it involves Lucca lighting Ayla on fire so she can drop kick some poor sumbitch.
Inferno will hit all enemies on the screen and is, according to Captain Obvious, fire elemental.
(L¬Lv + L¬Mag × 8.6) + (A¬Lv + A¬Mag × 24.7) for the formula, and this one is kind of odd. It's not often you see an Ayla Tech using her magic stat, which explains the huge multiplier on it. Granted, I have a metric ton of Magic Tabs sitting in my inventory, so I could help boost this up to insane damage levels, but Ayla isn't supposed to be dual-classing with Cavewoman and Wizard.
Though, if she did, I'd call the class a Wreckyourshitomancer.
These guys are jerks. Mostly because I don't need the TP anymore (except for Janus, and he'll get his) and they're a pain to kill.
Movin' right along.
Blaze Kick is the final Double Tech between Lucca and Ayla.
Appropriately, it's fucking awesome. (L¬Lv + L¬Mag × 7.3) + (A¬Lv + A¬Mag × 21.0) for damage, but who cares about that when Ayla is blowing enemies up by kicking them in the teeth?
This is another Fangbeast attack, one of the wind attacks that picks someone up and drops their ass.
You'd really expect that to be more effective.
But we can grab that chest unmolested, and I now have nearly ten of these things.
Two Watchers here; I'm sure you can extrapolate what that means.
A gigantic pain in the ass fight where everyone misses constantly. Though, if someone needed the TP and you could kill all the Nomads here, this would be one hell of a boost.
Another Power Crest for the pile. Did I ever mention that you can't sell accessories in this game? If you could, I'd be so flush with cash, I could just pay Queen Zeal to knock her shit off.
Gasp! What rises from the water?
Nothing special, except for another Strength Capsule.
As well as an entree of fried blubber and eyeballs.
Marle got a good chunk of these before I started this update, just to bring her up to speed with everyone else.
I don't remember how I killed these guys, but it's safe to assume they were melted down to slag.
We were in this room before, but on the other side of the water. At least, I think that's water. I don't rightly know what the hell it is.
There's enough speed in here to satisfy -insert reference here-
This room contains a tractor beam to take us to the next leg of the Omen.
I don't remember the damned Ocean Palace being this big.
The path straight forward is blocked by these pillars, so we have to go around.
JESUS CHRIST WHAT ARE THOSE
LUCCA KILL THEM KILL THEM ALL
Neither are weak to Fire, but the Narble, the smaller looking alien, has 1,050 HP (and are weak to Water), while the Ghaj has 1,350 HP. A Magic Ring can be stolen from the former, with Magic Capsules from the latter.
They also drop assloads of EXP.
Go up and down the little path to snag this.
Another four of these guys.
And another friggin' Speed Capsule.
Alright, so let's do some real talk for these guys. Marle is willing to cooperate and show us why you want to murder a Ghaj as quick as possible.
Most counters aren't too bad.
However, this counter just fucking mercs one of your party.
However, a baptism by fire is enough to get Marle back on her feet.
Ah, a save point. Must be a boss coming up.
One with quite the flashy entry for what a putz he is.
No, seriously, this guy is such a puss, I didn't even make a video for the fight.
There's one thing to remember about this fight.
Neither half of the Giga Mutant gives a remote fuck about your physical capabilities.
Magic is the way to go in this fight, as neither side absorbs any elements (not weak to any, either), and this attack helps to reinforce that thought.
As it drains your MP when you physically attack.
This sums up the fight rather nicely.
Top half has 5,800 HP, while the bottom half has 4,950.
As for an offensive, it has this attack.
As well as this. I'm sure it has others, too, but it falls too quickly to do much of anything else. However, it using this does kill the 1 HP Ayla, so we get to see Arise.
It restores a character to life with full HP.
Let's just skip to the end.
A pitiful reward for a pitiful fight.
Another teleporter awaits us beyond the Giga Mutant.
Which leads us to an elevator. An absolutely boring elevator.
I ran around this motherfucker mashing "A" because I was sure there was something here, but I didn't find squat.
Just an elevator ride; no enemies or anything interesting.
Oooh, a pair of spooky bats! Touching them results in a fight.
Not with the lil' guys themselves, but these two slobs that fly in from offscreen.
Moving along, we encounter two Blubber Hulks, whom Lucca promptly nukes.
That treasure chest is tantalizing.
However, four Panels are protecting it and its prize.
By the way, these things can attack. Did I mention that before?
Not that it matters for them.
I've found enough of these things that finding one is starting to get a reaction out of me.
A save point appears after the Panel fight, which means it's time for another boss.
Seriously; I didn't cut out a big chunk of travel or anything. These last two just come in rapid succession.
This one, too, has a flashy intro, but not flashy enough to make a .gif of.
Surprise, it's another Mutant!
This Mutant is Tera(yaki) flavored, and is the last Mutant fight.
It's a fight that could have been really interesting, but falls slightly short.
Both halves have insane Defense, so it's back to magic-based asskickings for this guy.
You can snag a Power Crest from the lower half. Not sure why I did this, since chances are slim someone will equip one, but I now have enough to give everyone in the party one and still have some left over!
The Upper Body doesn't resist anything, nor is it weak to anything. It has 7,800 HP, which will be pretty easy to tear through. However, the Lower Body absorbs all elements, has absolutely crazy Defense, and a staggering 20,000 HP.
Also, you can snag a Muscle Ring from the Upper Body.
Periodically, the Upper Body will attach its life sucking noodle to the lower half.
Now, you might think that you'll have to keep dealing damage to the top half until its drained the Lower Body dry.
Which isn't a bad thought, really.
Could have made for a cool gimmick, even, but that's not the path to victory.
To blitz this fight, just beat the everloving shit out of the Upper Body.
Your tactics may very, but as long as they have a basis in magic, it'll fall quickly enough. 7800 HP isn't really all that much at this point, despite seeming like a gigantic number (especially when you consider our max HP is 999).
Yep, that's right. Kill the Upper Body and the Lower Body just gives up and dies.
So, this is a gemstone for these three right here, enabling their special Triple Tech, Poyozo Dance.
And another Megalixir on the opposite side. Maybe I can use one of these and be perfectly fine...
Anywho, this sums up the adventures of Team Girl Power.
Next time, we'll finish out this motherfucker. However, you won't be getting to choose my party. I'll be taking my own; Team Let's Save The Fucking World.
Bonus Triple Tech
To see Poyozo Dance in action, click this sentence!