Part 65: Update Sixty One: Some More Bullshit And The Golden HammerUpdate Sixty One: Some More Bullshit And The Golden Hammer
Howdy, folks, and welcome back! Last time, on Chrono Trigger, we started the Lost Sanctum. Today, we're going to visit the 600 AD version of it and do the first of many fetch quests, so let's bounce.
The 600 AD entrance to the Lost Sanctum is just north of Ozzie's Fort.
No "fun" dialog when we come in here this time. Just get popped in and move on.
We come in and make a pair of Reptites shit their scales. I would have said pants, but they only wear shirts.
"Let them kill you! Perhaps your blood will sate their lust while the rest of us can flee!"
In fairness, that's not a bad question. The only one of us to speak is the frog-man.
Damn, Lucca, relax; they don't know any better.
"There is an uppity, purple-haired woman!"
Must be one hell of a legend; it's been 65,000,000 years since we went and evacuated a forest of life.
Were I more skilled at image editing, I would have removed the other Reptite so it seemed the Elder was talking to himself.
I don't have much to look forward to during this. Let me have my small amusements.
If you send me to the equivalent of Repite K-Mart, I will destroy this entire dimension.
Much as I wish I could say no, I am doing an LP.
Just start filling out the check, bozo.
Shut up, Lucca. This isn't something to be happy about.
There's also a few different Reptites to chat with around here, so let's go and do that.
This guy is pretty much the only one around here I don't hate.
This guy can make a good bit of armor, but only Lucca can equip it. It nullifies elemental damage, but the Prism Dress has better defense, and even though it only cuts elemental damage by a third, she still weathers a magical hit like no other. Plus, it's a drop from a rare enemy that's a pain to kill, and I don't give enough of a fuck to actually go and hunt it down. If I wind up with some, then I'll get it, but I'm not making any special efforts.
Alright, let's go clear out the forest. That Reptite up there offers us another free resting area.
So we have to kill all the enemies around here. It's...
...I was trying to think of something non-negative to say, but I've got nothin'.
The really bad thing about the Lost Sanctum is that it feels so vastly different from the rest of Chrono Trigger. It's a series of fetch-quests, of running between two areas that are the same, but sixty-five million years apart. The spot you'll run around the most also has about five unavoidable encounters with pain in the ass enemies. As well as being one hell of a long run.
It's kind of like they wanted to add something to the game, but didn't want to go through a ton of effort.
Or maybe some intern bugged the shit out a higher-up and he set him at it just so he would fuck off about it. But only if it tangentially related to Chrono Cross.
And the connection of the Lost Sanctum is tenuous; the Dimensional Vortexes do it, too, but they're a touch more fun.
Oh, hey, new enemy.
750 HP on the Jackpot, with very high physical defense.
However, magic will wreck their shit absolutely, especially since they don't absorb or have immunity to any element.
By the way, this is the last encounter to clear the forest.
Another thing that displays the low effort put here is that the chests, even if you open them in prehistory, still have stuff in them in the middle ages. It's a contrast to, y'know, the rest of the goddamned game.
This is a new helmet, equippable only by the men; it's weaker, defensively, than the Prism Helm, Guardian Helm, and on the same level as the Vigilant's Hat. It adds +5 to Strength, but I'm pretty sure status immunities are better than that. It's not a bad helmet, per se, but it pales in comparison to the others. Especially when you consider our men are pretty much all maxed out on Strength. Chrono is, at least.
But that finishes off the first quest here.
Like I told the other Reptites, you could do some pushups for a while and then go beat those guys' asses.
But, whatever, we get a reward. I don't know if I'll ever use this, not because I'm trying to hoard them for later use, but probably because I'll never be in dire enough straits for such a thing.
Speaking of other tasks, I've gotta go.
Sudden time shift!
We're going to find the Golden Sand; there's a path to the south that leads out of this area.
To a tropical forest.
Yeah, sure, why not. Mountain to regular-ass forest to rainforest.
Kingfrogs have 690 HP and, as per the bestiary, a whopping 0 defense. They're also immune to Light for whatever reason.
I don't know the boost on their defense, but it's not much.
But yeah, normal attack from Chrono equals out to 900 damage.
Also I now have more questions about Lucca's Wondershot.
Sure, 0 Defense and all that, but 4500 is ri-fucking-diculous.
It says damage is based on the game time, but this file has barely over 5 hours on it.
...A fucking Mid-Potion? I'm not using the Hi-Potions you're giving me, why the hell would I use this!?
I think this is an accurate display of my scorn for this place; I'm willingly skipping EXP.
This isn't where the Golden Sand is; I just wandered somewhere that currently has no use.
870 HP, low Defense (do I even need to keep mentioning that?), and nothing else noteworthy about them.
Critical hit, by the way.
Deathcreepers have 1000 HP and absorb Shadow.
They also have a counter.
Remember when Flea used this attack?
I don't know why some purple goo-monster has Entice, but there you go.
There are some hidden chests around here, but I don't think I got them all.
Huzzah. I'm up to roughly a dozen of these.
Yep. It's dark.
We have a guy who wields lightning and a chick that throws fire. I'm pretty sure we can get plenty of goddamned light.
Oh, whatever. It's an RPG, so I'm not surprised.
Exiles are new enemies, who absorb light.
They have 920 HP and shit defense. That's about all that's worth saying about them. I'm sure they can attack, but I've never seen any of them.
And here's our Golden Sand!
Back to the forest!
So, yeah, we're going to throw some sand at the baby tree.
And throw some in Lucca's eyes, too. I'm not sure why.
So, yeah, now we can pop back--
Yeah, we're going to do that. We've even already been there!
Shut the hell up, Lucca.
So let's run up to the tree and get this guy some wood.
Huh. Sixty-five million years and the tree didn't last. Imagine that.
Hey, bud. We're looking for a hammer just like that.
I suppose if you want to have a dance off about it, we can do that.
So now we have to go and chase him down to take the hammer.
Hey, there he is. You don't have to run far to find this guy.
I think this is supposed to be a boss fight, but...Fuck it, it's not good enough to get its own video.
He's got 5800 HP, with high physical defense, so magic is your best method of attack. Also, every physical attack I tried against him missed.
But that offers me a chance to use this Double Tech.
As far as I know, this'll deal more damage when Frog has lower HP.
Once again, this is another enemy that increases stats when you attack him.
For the only attack of his we'll see, he summons a big rock and drops it on someone.
As shown here.
So let's end this fight by stabbing him in the face and shocking his tits off.
There's going to be a lot of cash gained here. It's kind of weird.
I'd just like to say we came out here to find a tree and help a guy get a golden hammer. We found this dude who had said hammer. He wasn't overly hostile about having it, and actually ran the hell away from us.
And then we chased him down and brutally murdered him, all to steal his hammer.
Brave heroes, indeed.
Would you believe we found your legendary object far enough into the future the planet doesn't even look remotely similar to how it did before?
Yeah, take the goddamned thing.
And for our reward?
I hate this place and am ending the update here. We'll do some more shit around here next time.