The Let's Play Archive

Civilization V: Gods & Kings

by Speedball

Part 40: Wrath of the Socialists!

And so, our story begins again!

Each of us has been appointed enough work teams to build three bases, two scouting parties, two workman groups for harvesting the terrain, and two Land Ironclads for defending ourselves.

The land ironclads are more than double the strength of a platoon of soldiers, master! We need not form any more squads of footmen.

Indeed. And maintaining a fleet of vehicles is one of our challenges anyhow.

Let us set up camp and begin exploring this island!

(Most of these policies are remixed versions of those found in the base game, with a couple of exceptions. There are no adoption or finisher benefits.)

We have enough funding for at least three new social programs. Since so much of what we will be competing in will require building, I propose two industrial policies and one cultural policy.

(When you start in a later era, your first buildings have a lot of free infrastructure automatically provided to jump-start you)

No time like the present. Begin construction of the Louvre Wonder at once--it will count as a wonder on our scorecard and help us produce many more social programs!

Master, why does the console say, "Religion OFF?"

This is a test of our secular capacity, Igor, not of our faith.

Actually I have already disproven the existence of religion, mathematically!

You have? I did not think the existence of God was the sort of thing one could either prove or disprove.

No, no, you misunderstand. Religion does not exist. Never has, in fact, even when we thought it did.


Of course, that makes me wonder what the true purpose of all those cathedrals and mosques was…something to do with contacting aliens via geometric harmonics, perhaps?

I think he's been experimenting with mercury again…

Master! I've received a telegram about a new possible fuel source!

Please tell me it wasn't that Madame Curie again…I keep telling her that "Uranium" was nothing but a hoax!

No, sir! "Luboric!"

With these we could construct vastly superior forms of landships!

Begin research immediately, my good hunchback!

This island is populated by native peoples as well…and LUDDITES! I sympathize with their distrust of the new and the strange, but they mean us death, and so we must return it to them. To arms!

Luther old boy! There you are. Have the followers of Ludd been harassing you as well?

Oh, is that who my new test subjects were? Perhaps I should have found out before setting them against the automatons.

…you frighten me, sir.

Another contestant's scout approaches!

We must be cautious…Ignace is a notorious scoundrel who always pushes forth against his neighbors, against all reason.

I can hear you.

Ahh! Sorry!

Declare a holiday for the men!

These filthy barbarians try to attack our land ironclads with mere clubs. The rapid-fire guns cut them down and destroy their camp in one stroke!

Ho-ho. The gang's almost all together! Where the devil is Octavius?

That Ignace scoundrel has settled one of his bases right next to mine, but soon, Marseille will have access to coal, with which we can make our factories! And soon, the factories will be upgraded to produce glorious science for us due to my policy of instigating regular inspections for efficiency and workplace safety!

I took the time to order my last group of settlers here, to this bejungled place. Our universities will get much research of interest, and the mountainsides will make excellent Observatory platforms. It's within reach of silk and citrus groves, too!

I fear I may soon be forced to fight against Orlin, so it's time to teach our men some fighting discipline!

Many alarming developments! I find that Ignace Curnow of Orlin is indeed building up a sneak attack against my forces…and that they're constructing the Big Ben wonder in his capital. More alarmingly, Luther Griggs is also building up a sneak attack against someone. This is not in his nature.

But, sir, this could be an opportunity. Allow Orlin to construct the wonder…then take it by force!

Of course! Begin construction of artillery as soon as possible!

(Yes, the narrator narrates these new technology quotes too. It's cool.)

Joyous day! There's a Luboric deposit right next to Chartres! As soon as we can research better landships, we can dominate the vehicle arms race!

Have the artists construct sculptures around our main city! Our land will be as beautiful as it is strong!

Ah, at last! I can build primitive heavier-than-air flying machines! True, they tend to fall apart or self-destruct when I use them in combat, but still! They are quite good at hunting down blimps.

We must improve our economy! There are many wealthy Scrooges in our land who would pay us plenty of money if we constructed mansions for them--and I could pass the profit on to the empire!

Ah, excellent, the people will be much happier with a proper protection around the cities (already built, by the way), and this will alleviate upgrade costs for our land fleet!

Worry not, proletariat, the income will go to more than just the rich bastards living in these mansions!

How do we stand on the current scoreboards?

More technology must be researched before we can truly begin competing for titles…but we're on the right track! We are in good standing for Captain of Industry, and will soon win Defender of Progress. We need only hold three titles for five consecutive turns in order to be declared the winner.

The time has come to strike! Attack!

Liberate their workers from the chains of their industrial whipmasters!

This unlocks the first title in the competition! And as soon as that luboric is mine, the title is mine for sure! Even with my larger-than-normal fleet of regular land ironclads I could claim this title.

Hmm, I could use a breather for ten turns. During which time I'll build up my army!

Euruch is building more land ironclads! Blast it! But I'll soon make them obsolete! I'm having difficulty because of blasted luddites attacking my workers harvesting the Luboric.

Here, on the left, the old-model Land Ironclad, on the right, the new Landship!

Euruch's fleet is obsolete! Hahahaha. I need only construct a few more landships and he'll never catch up to me.

Damn you, Clinton! The title shall be mine again! I'll choke you with your own raffle tickets!

Many of the new buildings can be set up into a network, sir! Build one in each city, then construct a "hub" for another National Wonder!

Excellent. Begin construction of the Trade Colleges! I want my people well-educated in both the sciences and the arts. And they said liberal arts degrees are useless!

Clinton, my good man! Having a spot of trouble with Orlin, are we? Well, you might be happy to know that currently I've run more "social reforms" than even you.

Impossible! You cad, how did you do it?

Ho ho ho. Pay raises all round. But the joke's on the workers: the cost of living went up all round too! I effectively docked their wages and they love me for it!

Laugh while you can, Octavius, for soon I shall rule the skies!

But sir, don't you actually need aetherium to have airships?

Uh…damn. Good point, Igor. I'm going to need to find a way to manufacture some from scratch!