Part 32: An unexpected face

Part 29: An unexpected face!



So, what's the situation besides the world's first dictator and the angriest Japanese warlord ever?

Well, we've discovered a few independent settlements who are willing to pay us for services rendered. Including… Hong Kong? Where the hell are we?

A land where time and space are all mixed up.

You, uh…you're kind of rolling with this a lot more easily than I thought you would.

Eh. You get used to it.



Well, phase one of our plan to restore Mother Base is done. I've outfitted us with a primitive training facility full of solar-powered dart-throwers--no poison on them, of course, they're just toothpicks-- and a boulder-outrunning course.

…that's, uh… pretty hardcore.

We can't afford to waste time getting these people trained!



I'd better make another speech to the guys about how we're going to be giving our clients all the help they can get. Once more from the top...



More savages right outside Milan. We'd better clear them out before they cause us any future headaches.

Better get to work on a sailboat so we can explore around here better, too. Hey, doc, can you whip up anything to help us?

I'm a computer expert, AI developer and psychology major, Snake.

Ah. So until we get electricity you know absolutely nothing of value to help us.

The perils of an overspecialized education.

Sir! We've just got an envoy from another civilization! They look…American?



Oh, my.

…George Washington?

Yes. My scouts tell me you're called… "Big Boss?" What an interesting name.

It's to the point. So, seriously, you're George Washington?

Of course, sir.

So…are you going to attack us? Are you sizing us up for invasion?

Boss!

Because…no offense, Mr. Washington, recent events have kind of made me a little paranoid.

I understand. I had to fight off what looked like a bunch of Visigoths not too long ago. I assure you, I'm too busy tending to my own business to get into anyone else's. So, you're an army without a nation… are your services for sale to anyone?

Not anyone. Lately I've found it's safer to contract out to smaller settlements. They pay less, but they also have less reason to stab me in the back.

Well, so long as you do not turn your weapons against us, I suppose things will be all right. I've fought against mercenary armies before, and won.

Hessians, right? Well, good. Talk to you later, Mr. President.

Very well, Big Boss.



We just finished the Kill Room and improved the command center, Boss! Mostly it's just a place full of grass dummies that our soldiers attack with spears, but whatever works, right?

There's some kind of huge stone structure under the base. I'm ordering an excavation.

Something useful down there, you think?

Maybe… or maybe it'll just be a place for religious nutjobs to hang out at.

I could use it! I turned an ancient precolumbian temple into a computer lab before!

Yeah, what was up with that, anyway?

The rent was cheap.



Snake, umm…

What?

There is a literal cult of people who worship shiny things starting up outside. Pennies, pearls, gems, it doesn't matter.

Hooo, boy. Well, let's see if we can't apply a little judiciousness to it and steer it in a more productive direction. Like, say, collecting shell casings!



Goddamn fools, the cultists are demanding ivory now, too! We don't have the time for hunting endangered species!



The temple of SHINY THINGS has been unearthed! Rejoice, my brothers and sisters!

NO! You idiots! This is my computer lab! Get out!

What's a computer?

Give it up, doc. We'll need to get another place for you.



Well, we've made it this far. Nobody's attacked us. We're doing better than I expected.

What were you expecting?

Worst-case scenario? One of us gets kidnapped, I have to initiate a rescue mission, everything goes wrong and the world gangs up on me.

Aaahh, you could handle it.

Not if one of them shoots lasers at me from their eyes!

To Be Continued!