The Let's Play Archive

Civilization V: Peace Walker

by Speedball

Part 33: Progress!

Part 30: Progress!

Well, since we're from the future, it stands to reason we're probably the most progressive. Ancient Rome may have been pretty progressive for its time too, but they didn't exactly let women in their army.

The Americans and Romans are spreading out. It's only a matter of time before someone starts to get in someone else's way…

Case in point, someone getting in our way. These guys are going to cut off our potential exploration…oi.

How would you rate our chances against Nobunaga in a fight?

Now? Maybe not so bad. Everyone's still rebuilding. But later? Oi…

I'm really more of a computer engineer than a construction worker, but at least my math courses can help us build some basic siege weaponry. Did you know that the very first computers were created to help calculate artillery trajectories?

Not really. I guess militarism really has been pushing forward the sciences, hasn't it?

Not always, but often, yes. Of course, one of the biggest obstacles to scientific progress has been militarism, as well…hardheads often only consider the bottom line, and focus on one area. "Can it be used to kill people?" is usually the first question asked of anything new.

What's the second?

"Can I have sex with it?"


We're a few decades away from perfecting intercourse-capable androids, but it'll probably happen!

Way too much information, doc.

Alright, our new ultra-advanced indoor archery training course is done! I'm going to put everyone through this--it takes a lot of practice to get good with a bow, and you'll go through live-fire exercises, too. By which I mean, you'll all be expected to start hunting for game with these bows.

Mmm, rabbit and venison…

Rabbits nothing, when we're done I expect you to be able to kill sharks with your arrows!

The time of shininess is upon us!

Come, friends! Let us work together in harmony for the glory of shinyness!

Oh, boy…

I was going to try to convince them to collect money for me, but even they saw through it. So instead we're just going to focus on making things…fun. The priest of Shiny Things is officially being folded into our services as the morale officer.

Mother Base is upgraded again? What new death course have you devised for the recruits?

Our low-crawl has replaced the barbed wire with live snakes, and the recruits are expected to know which ones are poisonous so they know where to crawl. Our "special" drill instructor Sgt. "Bobcat" Kato is instructed to appear at any time to attack them in hand-to-hand combat, too.

Heh. Yeah, that's basically how the Boss trained me.

We'll have an army of snakes!

Cargo Ship "Albatross," initiate a trading mission with Milan! And don't get your ass sunk by pirates this time!

Bad news, Boss. Oda Nobunaga just doubled the size of his army in a massive recruitment drive. I'd bet good money he's planning on invading someone soon…probably us.

Damn. I was hoping we could avoid this, but…time to start building those siege engines, Strangelove.

So, Big Boss, I had a rather good deal going on with Milan. I agreed to protect them, they sent me some of their delicious fruits and copies of their poetry regularly. But I haven't been receiving those ever since you gave them your "stimulus package."

You're upset that I bribed Milan?


Look, it's just fruits and poetry--

There's no JUST about fruits and poetry! I must have these things to calm the rage within. The inherent inequity of the world makes my blood boil over, and without something to soothe my temper, the urge to crush and destroy is overwhelming. AND YOU'RE MY NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBOR!

Whoah--look, man, I didn't even---

You think you can just buy the world into obeying you, Snake!? You filth! You and your tamarin-haired, raccoon-eyed second-in-command had better beware!

Tamarin-haired?! Hey, wait a minute!

RAUUUGH! *sounds of a Go board being knocked over*


I knew Nobunaga had a temper, but I never expected to be on the receiving end of it.

Well, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of pain. Let's see if we can get some blacksmithing done to outfit some sword guys and…do what we can.

To Be Continued!