The Let's Play Archive

Civilization V: Peace Walker

by Speedball

Part 35: Don't be a hero!

Part 32: Don't be a hero!

More Shiny priests. At least they're helpful.

Worry not, Big Boss! We'll till the fields in our monastary-farms. You'll get plenty of food, and we'll have a chance of digging up yet more precious gems!

Works for me! As long as I never need to go back to American-made military rations…blegh. And try to spread the word out there during your, uh, evangelical missions that we're always available to help out independent nations with security issues!

Our intel operative is reporting back that Rome is building siege engines…pretty nasty ones, too. And they've got legions armed with gladius swords. This guy knows exactly what he's doing--he's already outfitting troops with the best stuff he can.

Great. Well, we've knocked some of the wind out of Oda's sails…we'll probably have to kick Caesar in the balls a few times to get him to back off, too. I'm not in the mood to wait for an invasion, so we'll prepare a little invasion of our own.

Good thinking. Fortunately, we have a pretty good standing army already.

I have one more special project I need completed before we do anything else. Doc, you got a minute?

Snake, there's a limit to how much I can accomplish without basic electronics and a power supply. Our hand-crank radios aren't going to cut it.

Bear with me. I'm no programmer, but I know all computer programs run off a plan, an algorithm--and what I want is the plan, not the computer that would run it. We'll need a special facility for it, though.

Hmm…interesting… go on…

We just got a supply of ivory from a nearby elephant graveyard--don't worry, the living ones are just fine--and the "shiny things" cult guys are going nuts. Lots of, uh…frolicking and unprotected sex. Probably gonna be a few unexpected pregnancies after this.

Hmph. I suppose we'll need to reinvent the condom eventually as well.

Snake, we just got another emissary from Augustus saying he'd contract us out to attack Washington alongside his forces.

Like hell. He'd stab us in the back as soon as he found it convenient--let us use up our strength on Washington, then take us out. Plus George has been fairly decent to us so far, even if he's been spreading out all over the place.

Hello! I'm Henry Bessemer, the man who revolutionized the manufacturing of steel! Your manufacturing capabilities seem pretty terrible in that jungle, Big Boss, mind if I help you out with a factory of my own?

Sure thing, Henry! That's just what we needed!

Excellent, this has accelerated the process of completing our secret project.

So, run this by me again…how does it work?

Humans are undoubtedly the most complex things in a world of complex things, but even they have patterns. My algorithms to reproduce human consciousness using artificial intelligence are based on predicting human behavior. This research facility is going to use all the data we can gather--by hand, if necessary--to attempt to predict outcomes before they occur, to a limited extent. It won't be perfect, and it won't let us see what our enemies are planning, per se, but it will allow us to anticipate economic needs in advance.

Yeah. With this, we should be able to improve the efficiency of our society.

Our base security should be a lot tighter now, for starters. We're getting some aqueducts installed too. This should help us grow. Now, it's time to start reinforcing our troops for the inevitable conflict with that Roman bastard.

Just look at all those ballista! If he's not planning on invading us, I'm a monkey's uncle.

You're Monkey's uncle?

No, that's a figure of speech…dammit, why do we all have to have animal code names? Can't I be Razor instead of Capybara?

NO! Animal code names are less likely to be confused for actual equipment. Anyway. The Romans are going to attack us. Let's get more archers set up.

Looks like we caught Oda on the good side of his mood swings, for once. Let's work it while we can.

The troops are in position…

Let us not lie to each other, Big Boss. We both know we're headed for war. You're preparing for it right now, aren't you?

Right back at ya.

This must be destiny… have at you, Snake! I will show you the glory of eternal Rome!


Monkey, noooo!

Arrgh… they got me… I never got to tell Orangutan I wanted to marry her…

We're almost though their walls! Come on!

I got it!

No, Kojima, don't do anything stupid!

We're through! I just captured their command post, I think… Um…

Hey! What's your status? Report!

Oh, dear. I'm wrong. Their command post has captured me.

Dammit! I'm heading in there myself!

Next time: Caesar Boss Fight.

(Yes, that's right, I just conquered Rome with a scout.)