Part 24

On a completely odd note I cannot ressurect or Raise Dead Josie 2.0 either.

It's not a magic item on her, I stripped her down. She has no buffs on her corpse, just can't be raised.


So I have to replay a few fights. Just ignore any continuity issues you see in regards to HP and whatnot. Every single thing we encounter can kill Josie in one attack. It makes this really really fun.


Also: Dory is at the max level of 15, so is Jameson. Their HP are 126 and 129 respectively. That jackwagon who did the video LP that I saw on Youtube has tanks at level 9 with 200+ HP. What the fuck.

• Get the three elemental items of ancient power to prevent the Urn from destroying the world. Fire Ruby, Promeres Hammer, Lyre of Winds.
  
• Enter tapestry for the Lyre of Winds.
  

We put the tapestry back and then activate it with a fan that was in the box just below it. The other tapestries needed activating, so I figured this one did too.






We are teleported to an island.


We start dead center. It's not nearly as big as the map looks.



Houses to the south, one with a giant.


8 steps north is another giant.


There are 2 exits. This one and one south of it.



I thought the giants were going to murder everyone? Glad to see they'll talk it out. They appear to be having some problems...





Well shit. They've got 3 problems. Lets see if we can solve them.


I am smaller than a giant!


Well lets hope she at least managed to save your child!


I think we should deal with these guys first.



That's not very nice, I was offering to help you. Dory isn't much smaller than you!



Look how huge that bed is. Or chair. Whatever. I do my normal "look for anything I am able to take" on everything in every single house and find a white canvas. Toga party anyone?


Wow he's a dick.


He is making armor for... the one other person in the entire village?


But did you see that pole on the right side of the house? It's a mast, I take it. I have a feeling I'm building a boat.


I go in the southern cave entrance because the top one looks like it will advance the plot (it's bigger and more gaping).




Poor farmer, he can't fight off the hordes of bugs with his gigantic club. Here's an idea: Don't use a club for fucks sake.



I'll go find her, thanks!


I find a plant sprayer. It's really clunky. I set it down next to a plant, then move close to it, then 'use' it. It spurts green stuff. Nothing happens so I spray it like 20 more times. I'm about to give up in annoyance...



Woo! That's great. The bugs are still there but whatever. Not my problem!

There is nothing else to do here so I leave and go in the northern big-cave.


There is nothing here either. I proceed out the exit and as Josie flies through I notice a little cave tunnel in the middle of the cave. I am unable to turn her around so I shoot out the right side of the tunnel.




This guys are assholes. They think that just because I'm small I can't be helpful.



Hang on, before I do that I've got to go check out that side tunnel back in the tunnel I came from.


On my way back to the side tunnel I see what looks like a rudder. Yoink.



See? Kinda blends in when you shoot by it at 100mph.


There is nothing here, just a few giants with boar heads.


So not all of these giants are bad, just the wolfpack.


Roger that, I'll take that boat there if she's seaworthy.


I add each of the items to the boat, don't bother assessing damage, and get 25,000 experience for it.


Good thing Josie 2.0 knows how to sail. Josie 1.0 didn't, so this works out perfectly.



That looks to be our guy.


South is a rope bridge that has seen better days.

So I want to explain what I do when I come to a new place. I right click to pause time, and that gives me the 'use' feature on my mouse. I then move it over everything in the entire damn area to see what I can interact with. Sometimes there are happy accidents like the following.


There is a vine tree. And there is an axe right there.


Yay rope.



A guard tells me to follow him. I do.


He greets me and I ask about his guards.



Wait, there's a self-serving giantess up there?


Well that sounds bad. I should keep this in mind when I interact with her.


Everyone said he was a giant asshole, but he seems like a nice guy! I don't get all the hate.



Lets go see who they've got caged up.



I don't know Generoe.




She refuses to take me there, but tells me the route. I'm going to go find this dude so I take the exit by the misunderstood giant-killer-guy.


Ooooh now I understand the hate for this guy.


There is a lot of murderizing. He has a key on his corpse.



10,000xp for freeing her.



Okay, I'll look for a chasm. (I never find a chasm.)




I go in the tunnel and find this hut and a lot of drakes. I can't actually get to the drakes yet, so screw it.


Northwest there is some kind of puzzle piece. Ah well, into the hut we go!






I'm not sure I want to give her the flute.



What? I lost my damn crowbar like 10 updates ago.


Luckily she left me one outside. See it? Took me 14 minutes judging by screenshot times... The cloud is making a circle around it by the big pot. That itty bitty black dot. Fuck this game.


We rip a plank off her building.


Set it down, then use it.


It certainly grew didn't it?



There is a narrow bridge that leads to that thing covered by clouds (not the monster on the left, the little round thing).


Some switches?


A hole to the north.


And a part of the flute. Lets go.



The hidden enemies don't bother us much. It's all about fucking up their initiative so we get to murder them first.


Grab the round that that pretty clearly fits in the hole just north of here.


Stuff it in there and turn the knob. I have no idea what it does. Nothing happens.


Welp, I'm sure it was important. Grab the flute and we head back to the hut.

There are 2 holes in the ground north of the hut. I take the one furthest north because there is nowhere else for me to go.


Oh, was that the chasm? That never occurred to me until right now.



Everyone is a bunch of jerks in this game.


I tell him I'm going to get the items and he tells me he boobytrapped it bigtime.




Well I've had my fill of mazes, so there is no way in shit I'm hitting 20 levers in random patterns until something works.




I don't even remember him talking about this.




Through the cave thingy is 5 skeletons which Jameson banishes. There is an 'herb' here but I don't know what its for. I take it anyway.



Nothing else to do but the booby trapped area he talked about.


They one-shot Josie a lot.

The worst part of this is that it's a minefield. He legitimately boobytrapped it so if you step on a certain tile it'll cast fireball or chain lightning or something. And it's everywhere.




There are 9 or 10 greaters and 6 lesser air elementals. I stand and fight, letting them come to me. I also summon an elemental to take some blows for me.


The fight sucks but we finish with everyone alive.


Yank the rock, get hit by 2x fireballs on my way there.


Oooh lookie!


I don't know what that means so I'm going to put the pieces together.



25k experience too.


I don't believe her. Remember the evil guy? He was probably telling the truth. I save the game and do it anyway.


She takes it and runs away. That's bullshit, I need that flute. It appears to have magic properties... I reload the save so I still have the flute.


I blow into that fucker near the drakes.


Cutscene



YOU BLEW TOO HARD, DORY. Now I have glass powder in my inventory. Remind me to go to the Pokemon glass blower with it to see if there is any bonus for doing it.


No drakes, so I walk to the puzzle thing.



I step on the other piece and rocks go down. That should let me get to the nest since it's the only other place I haven't been to yet.


Yep, they're down. Lets go get that baby!


They can one-shot Josie and Antwoman.


The water elemental draws their fire for a bit. Jameson punches.

Antwoman has an awesome new spell I want to show you but it fails every time and I can only cast it once. Creeping Doom summons 1000 insects that all do 1 damage and kill anything in the area of effect. It's a small area, but never succeeds anyway so I'm pretty happy I grabbed it.


They are level 25 which explains their damage.


I snag a few hides.




Josie is leveling up really well. She's got to be level 11 by now.




The woman hid the baby, she did well. She gives me a Stalker cloak which hides the wearer from enemies and gives 4AC.


Spoiler: No they don't.


Did you guys notice that gold thing under the cloud in the nest? There is nowhere left to explore, so it had to be here.


It can cast some spell. Charm Monster. I bet that'll fail every fuckin time I try to use it.


This is all she says.



Hell yeah I want armor.




He bounces between the forge and the water for a bit.


It's leather armor with 4AC which is amazing.


Josie wears it and she's at -10AC now.




So that's everyone in this camp. No reward other than the armor. The armor is pretty awesome so that's fine with me.



The BeastHeads give us 3000 coin and 12k experience.


Nothing left to do here.



Oh shit. Well, lets make a plan!





Tarrasque is a unique monster that looks like godzilla from what I recall of my monster manual back when I was a kid. It will kill the entire world. Someone should find those heroes from Ulrik and have them stop it!



Told you it was badass.




Huh. Okay, I'll use this to my advantage.


Well thanks for interrogating the suspect too hard. Idiot.


She kicks me out.




I don't know how I missed this like 4 updates ago, but I can loot her drain pipe. It's a magic ring of unknown. Looks like Spider Strand maybe?

I go rest and cast all of my buffs, then save.

• Swing by Pokemon glass blower because I have more glass powder in my inventory from the flute self-destructing.
  
• Kill Lord Warrior somehow. Enter that room in the city that I couldn't before?