The Let's Play Archive

Doug's Big Game

by Robotnik DDS

Part 11: control that PowerPoint presentation. This is the world of Plumbers Don't Wear Ties.

I think I've emptied just about a full bottle of generic brand steak sauce on this boloney sandwich so it's time to close up shop. If you want the full Doug's Big Game Experience:

Here is a full game walkthrough in txt format

Here is the full game script in RTF format

Now an intelligent and attractive youngster-on-the-go such as yourself may be saying: "I still want to experience the vicarious thrill of chasing an orange blonde through a nonsensical adventure game."

Fret not friend, because do I have the interactive FMV experience for you:

Released in 1994 for the Panasonic 3DO Interactive Multiplayer, Plumbers Don't Wear Ties is quite literally the worst game ever created. This is not hyberbole.

Imagine if you will, a porn video written by a hack of a wannabe standup comedian with Attention Deficit Disorder. Now imagine that porn video has no sex in it and comes in the form of a PowerPoint presentation with extensive Photoshop 1.0 effects. Now imagine that you can control that PowerPoint presentation. This is the world of Plumbers Don't Wear Ties.

You the player, must endure the worlds worst Choose Your Own Adventure book in order to get the two protagonists John and Jane to hook up.

Nothing I write here can prepare you for how mind-bogglingly retarded this game is. I uploaded it to Youtube so that you can experience it for yourself. It is not quite safe for work, but I did upload the censored version so you can't see the side of a titty and a dude's ass crack in one scene.

At the end of each video, there is a choice for you to make. If you are smart, your choice will be to close your browser window and erase your history. If you are like me, you will explore the depths of the greatest minds of the Kirin Entertainment Empire.

Click here to play Plumbers Don't Wear Ties

Please tell me if any of the links are broken.

Thanks for reading!