Part 35: The Gentlemen's Is Full!! But Can He Pass The Two-Star Ball?!Howdy, folks, and welcome back! Last time, on Attack of the Saiyans, I struggled through the Yunzabit Heights and it's pain in the ass boss fight, but we recovered a Dragon Ball, so it's totally worth it. Today, we're going to visit a very special toilet, so let's head out.
I'm not a big fan of the Devil's Toilet, and not just because it isn't one of those fancy, low-flow models.
Even if the exterior design is kind of metal.
Though, hell, that's a heck of a walk just for Ol' Scratch to go and take the Browns to the Super Bowl.
We have Team Hair going into Lucifer's John, and Yamcha is going to be running around for us. I figure he's the one with the most fabulous hair, and the one that probably spends the most time on his hair. That's good enough reasoning for me.
The interior of this place is...I hope you like gray stone. And a teleporter section. Because we're doing that today.
Eh, get a few lights here, some curtains there, maybe a little bit of carpet, I think it'll be okay.
And the only dead guy here thinks the atmosphere is great.
: Is this where you come to poop? I feel an evil presence in the air...
: The Dragon Radar shows Dragon Balls in two places!
: All right! That means two more Dragon Balls!
: Yamcha's right. Let's hurry!
Meanwhile, Krillin does his best Han Solo, but nobody pays attention. For Krillin is bald, you see, and this is Team Hair's show. And Han Solo would have been part of Team Hair.
Alright, so, we have two mysterious colored circles on the ground and three treasure chests.
The message is the same on the other side; just replace the color to get the idea.
Eh, not bad. I could very well find a use for it later on.
These guys aren't too special, but they do have some nasty tricks.
A fair bit of HP, too.
They also have a kickboxing combo.
I'd have more attacks to show, but every one of these guys I fought only used this one. They can also drain HP and raise their Attack (at the same time, yes, which can get very nasty, very quickly) and can shoot their hair at you like needles, which can Paralyze someone.
Gohan is wearing Popo's Turban, to help him gain those delicious, delicious levels.
I'll definitely get a use out of this. Yamcha barely breaks 800 HP, and Gohan wouldn't if not for the +500 from equipment.
Mummies and werewolves.
A Vitruvian Werewolf, at that.
Do you remember the Wolfman from the World Martial Arts Tournament?
The Werewolf is just like the other palette swaps we've seen lately. Same basic concept, but better stats and different colors.
Just as before, we're still far better at shooting beams and draining their 1,060 HP.
The Mummy Man can attempt to poison someone.
However, his halitosis is so bad, it affects even him.
Being covered in bandages, they're weak to Fire, not that I exploit that.
Also, they can throw a stone coffin at you.
Unsurprisingly, being a fuck-off heavy piece of stone, it can stun someone, in addition to some good damage.
Popo's Turban is a +20% boost to EXP, if you'd forgotten, and Gohan needs all the EXP he can get. Level 35 is the one I'm looking most forward to, as that's where Gohan starts to take off.
The last chest here is definitely one I'll be using.
Up ahead, there are two paths we can take, and we're going left today.
Not the most visually interesting place, but there are plenty of fights.
Though, this is the formation I saw most often. Thankfully, it's not a hard fight, but it does get tiresome after the ninth or tenth time.
These guys still don't like Ki attacks, as evidenced by Gohan taking out more than half of his 980 HP.
Though, in return, he can light everyone on fire, so be wary of that.
Not a bad bit of EXP, either, considering it's a simple enough fight.
A battle item that will boost evasion for quite a few turns; not a bad bit of loot, but the kind of loot I tend to forget about.
Just inside the next room is this item, which raises Defense by 15%.
And just beyond that, some new enemies.
How many different ways can I say that the enemies are new, but not exactly new?
Bats are still pretty well chumps, but 890 HP chumps.
Just ten more levels for Gohan. With Popo's Turban, it'll go 20% quicker!
Man, I do not have much to say right now.
Oh, thank goodness, new enemies!
I wouldn't think of Satan's Crapper as a grave, exactly, but I think I can see how you could think to try and rob it.
890 HP on these guys, and they're just like the other foxes we've encountered.
980 HP here, and she can also fire a barrage of bullets, as well as a single, fuck-off attack that can Stun someone.
Of the few times I encountered these guys, if I didn't kill them within the first turn, they just ran off, which raises someone's Rage Gauge, as well as robbing us of their EXP for the fight.
Poor girl. She never stood a chance.
Goddamned fox. Shafting me on that valuable EXP...
Oh, if you haven't watched Gotham, you should check it out. It's pretty good, and the first season is on Netflix. If nothing else, at least try out the first episode, see what you think.
Oh, hell, teleporters.
If nothing else, at least it isn't really a maze.
Each platform you're teleported to just has a second teleporter on it, so it's not like you can fuck yourself over and keep sending yourself back to the beginning.
Why, yes, there are two treasure chests around here.
Thankfully, they're not too hard to reach. They really just take a few more seconds to reach.
And one of them holds a pretty solid bit of treasure.
To get to one of them, just take this teleporter, which takes you
Right to the treasure chest.
I give this to Yamcha, to fix those pesky accuracy issues he's been having. It doesn't matter how much the enemy boosts their Evasion or if they're Blind, the attacks they make are hitting.
The other treasure chest is this nifty little thing, which restores full HP and Ki to the entire party. You get to it by taking the teleporter opposite of the one we took when we started here.
And that's the extent of the teleportation part of this dungeon. It's short, not very sweet, and I'm glad it fucks off nearly as soon as it arrives.
So, have you folks heard about this Undertale thing?
It seems pretty popular with the kids and that VoidSandwich lately.
That's not the boss we're fighting today; we'll get to that boss in the next update, when we take the other path.
Since we went left, and the symbol on the left was blue, we fight the blue-colored boss.
Let's rest up before we go too crazy here. You never know what a statue can do.
Oh. I guess this one just gets blown up. Hey, I can handle that.
Aww, man, why is the screen fading?
Oh, the statue is moving. Great.
And it's coming right for us!
Why, yes, that is a giant stone gargoyle on a giant stone toilet.
Sometimes, Dragon Ball is real fuckin' weird.
In addition to his 12,800 HP, he can boost his Defense to keep things going even longer.
He can also put out a fair bit of damage, including lighting the party on fuck-fire.
As well as...Whatever the hell that is. Besides very uncomfortable looking, and surely the object of a specific fetish.
And this asshole of an attack; in addition to dropping a bunch of damage on the party (electric element, so fuck you if you forgot your Rubber Boots), it also has a chance of inflicting Paralysis with each individual hit.
That is a lot of damage; about 570 damage per person, which is far better than half of Yamcha's, and would be more than half of Gohan's, without his HP boost; Goku can take a couple of hits like that, but if he encounters this attack alone, it could easily wipe him out. Especially if you miss the Guard on it.
Even so, for this fight, I kept Yamcha chucking items, with the occasional Wolf Fang Fist and Neo Wolf Fang Fist, while Goku threw out Meteor Combinations and Gohan did some Masenko'ing and some Rushing, while waiting for the chance to use some S-Combos, like the Saiyan Attack or a Rush Blast if I get their inputs entered in the reverse.
It takes a little while, but eventually, he's flushed.
Just as we become suddenly flushed with EXP. Holy balls. Popo's Turban shows some real worth here, with an extra 900 EXP for Gohan.
And we now have another--Wait, what the hell does that say?
A shard? Oh, goddammit.
Motherfucker, you have three eyes; how do you not see the fucking issue here!?
Ugh. A partial Dragon Ball.
Which Piccolo pisses his pants about.
Well, if that's true, at least we're not far from the other Dragon Ball Shard.
Well, sure we can, Gohan, but he'll come back broken.
A former shell of himself, the humor and spark of life gone from his eyes, his movements stiff, almost like he was a marionette instead of a man...
I wonder what this plan could be.
I'm so glad these two had a touching reunion. It really means a lot for a father to comfort the four year old son who saw him killed by a guy who then kidnapped him and dumped him in the wilderness.
Hold your horses, Goku. We've got to save something for the next update.
Wouldn't it be a hell of a thing if the other reading in here was a full Dragon Ball?
Why does Krillin seem so pissed off about this prospect?
Stepping on the circle where Gentlemen used to sit takes us back to the beginning of the dungeon.
Where we can then hit this save point, and rest up before we tackle the other half of this dungeon.