Part 82: Episode LXI: This is a Story About a Passive-Aggressive Campaign of Justice
Episode LXI: This is a Story About a Passive-Aggressive Campaign of Justice
Once upon a time, many moons ago...
There was a beautiful Intoner and a middle-aged man.
The Intoner yearned for a world of peace and happiness, and for evil to be banished forever.
Verse 1: Intoner of Justice
Music: Wilderblades - Battleground
Welcome to Four's Prologue. Our session with the adventures of Four and Decadus will begin back in the outskirts of the Cathedral City.
They've stopped giving us specific dates for these last couple of Prologue DLCs. But seeing as there are still evil lord troops hanging out in even the Cathedral City still, I would assume Four's DLC is set fairly early on in the Intoner conquest campaigns.
I wonder what future Drakengard history is going to refer to the whole bizarre two years or so of time when a bunch of magical girls showed up out of nowhere, murdered all the heads of state taking over the continent in the process, and remained in power for all of about sixteen months before another one of 'em showed up and killed everybody. Or better yet how they'd gloss over the more unfortunate parts in children's history books. What I'm saying is I want an American grade school Thanksgiving type take on Drakengard history.
Kill the Intoner! Kill the disciple! Kill them all!
Hail our fallen leader!
As usual with most of these prologues, Four finds herself up against
Four herself fights with combat bracers mostly due to the huge gauntlet she wears to hide her supposed crazy gross fingernails. Performing the assorted kung fu dive kicks and somersaults that compose the combat bracer moveset makes that big floppy oversized pirate jacket draped over her shoulders the entire time kind of ridiculous looking. It's up there with Jill Valentine's sweater tied around her waist through the entirety of a zombie outbreak for clothing accessories that should probably just be taken off at some point.
We're here to eliminate the remaining forces.
Ah. Trash day, is it?
Decadus! Don't ever refer to people as trash!
Apologies, my lady.
We're just here to help One. That's all. We did NOT come here just to fight and kill for no apparent reason. Understand?
Of course, my lady.
We can't stay here any longer.
Our rear guard is depleted...
Stop her! Stop her now!
C'mon Decadus. Have some etiquette. It's called Garbage Day. Sheesh.
This land has been our leader's domain for ages! We don't need some Intoner trying to steal it from us!
Look at the hatred on these soldiers' faces. It's so tragic.
I agree completely. Surrounded by such intense hatred, I... I can't help but... Nnngh!
Decadus! I need you to focus!
A thousand apologies, my lady. All this pain just... Ungh...
I'm trying to be calm and reasonable with these people. It saddens me that they can't see that.
S-She's so violent!
That's an Intoner's true face. Never forget it!
This is some serious shit!
Don't lose your nerve... Keep going!
That's an Intoner...? She looks like a kid.
Don't be fooled! Keep going!
What a terrifying woman...
A far sight from our lady's noble presence.
Look Four, you already tried sending Decadus as an ambassador to broker peaceful negotiations with the enemy and the results were... let's say unsatisfactory. Give it a rest.
Look... Look at all the blood on my hands...
It is but proof of your immeasurable skill, Lady Four.
Stop. Our foes are so blinded by rage, they can't hear the wisdom of what I say.
You are indeed acting in self-defense, my lady.
Oh? I suppose you're right. I'm doing it for my dear sister One, after all.
Pictured: Acts of self-defense.
In Four's journey into the designated mid-boss gulag of central Cathedral City she finds herself faced against the odd paring of a titan and a cerberus. Drakengard 3 doesn't like to mix mid-boss enemy types up too often because
No, I'm fine. If I were Five, I'd probably be leaning on you for support and saying how tired I was in that sleazy voice of hers.
You may turn to me for support as much as you need, my lady.
I'm afraid that's not who I am! Only a fool believes that acting vulnerable and dependent is the way to a man's heart. A true frail maiden receives protection without having to put on an act. Like Two...
Lady Four, if you are weary, please, climb upon my back.
N-No! If I did that, it would look like everything I just said was an act!
Nnngh... Then you refuse to let me... touch you?
Of course, I refuse. I can take care of my own body... unlike Five.
Oh, my lady. The cruel games you play! Oooh...
To help combat a low level character against two mid-bosses at the same time, some helpful suicide bomber imperial troops have been deployed to... Hold on just a second. Huh... cool. Wait up...? Square-Enix and Platinum Games. Sheesh they're doing games for everyone lately. And the producer from NIER? Huh, Squeenix actually remembered NIER exists outside of selling remixed albums. And the Game Designer of REVENGEANCE. Awesome. Kay... and the lead composer from Drakengard 3 and NIER umm... Directed by Yoko Taro?! WAIT IS THAT MUSIC FROM... WAIT THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY THIS IS...
...WWWHWHWHWHWHWHWHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAT!?!?!?!?!?! FUCKING NIER 2? PLATINUM GAMES? IS THIS EVEN REAL? WHAT?! HOLY FUCKING SHIT!
So I wandered back two hours later after some manner of bizarre fugue state and this guy was dead on the ground when I came to my senses. I think his head just exploded. Damnedest thing. Ugh. I got ketchup all over my hands. I must have been eating something. And... the walls... And the ceiling. And why does it smell like burning rubber in this room...?
We have to meet Gabriella up ahead.
Hmm? Did I forget to mention her to you, Decadus?
Indeed. This is the first I've heard of her, my lady. But such is your prerogative! I love it when you pretend I don't even exist... Nnggggah...
Hey, don't make this a thing. I just forgot, okay?
A couple blocks down the road from the previous battle, just past a few dozen more rebels who just cannot see the noble mercy of Four as her spin-kicks cave their skulls in, we come to the final area of the mission. Once more it is the square where we began Zero's prologue (Not to be confused with Zero's Prologue. We haven't gotten to that yet!) as well as where Two used Self-Destruct to perform an entire team wipe on the disciples.
This time around we have a much better meet up in store...
Gabriella! Unlike the her last few brief single mission appearances with the other Intoner sisters, One's sassy dragon buddy will be accompanying Four for the entirety of her prequel chapter. So look forward to that.
I'm a busy dragon--I haven't got all day, you know. Cripes!
My apologies. I was giving a eulogy for those who perished in this senseless battle.
Um... Aren't you the one who caused them to perish in the first place? The only senseless thing here is you and your crazy excuses!
I didn't WANT to kill them! I had to... for One.
Blah blah blah blah whatevs.
Retreat! We need to retreat! Give the order sir!
Gaaaah! Ruuun! We can't wait for this!
Stay where you are! Don't let our leader's killer get away!
Block her escape route! Now!
Our formation is faltering!
Keep your distance... Stay back!
There are still fifty soldiers lingering in the square upon our arrival. We cannot have that. It just wouldn't do. Four will be sure to pen a lovely, handwritten obituary for each and every one of them to go along with what remains can be scooped into a shoebox when the dust settles.
We really shouldn't be using all these dangerous weapons against each other. Maybe if we all had whips or something, things would calm down.
Wh-Whips? With all that... flailing... And then we'd lick the raw wounds with our eager tongues... Unnngh!
Stop that at once! I won't abide such vulgarity. I simply want to keep casualties to a minimum.
Whips... Ohhh, whips... Unnnaghhh...
Decadus! Stop thinking about whips this instant!
You deny me even the pleasure of my own thoughts? Thank you, my lady!
A game with combat entirely utilizing realistic whip based combat would probably be pretty fucked up. Let's just stick to beating men to death with our bare hands for the time being. Much more humane this way really.
And with the last fifty stragglers of evil lord forces dealt with, all in order to lay the foundation for the hundreds more to die in this square at future dates, we bring the first mission of Four's Prologue to a close.
Video: Four's Prologue Verse 1 Highlight Reel
Four Concept Art