Part 16: Episode XVI: In Which Our Hero Commits Genocide
Episode XVI: In Which Our Hero Commits Genocide
Verse 3: The Holy and the Profane
Caim lets off steam by swinging his sword around slaying invisible enemies which only exist in his head. Really...
Verdelet stirs. Apparently Inuart is enough of a wimp that he was unable to kill a 72 year old man.
"Pay no attention to the soiled trousers. It just sort of happens at my age."
With Furiae gone, Caim couldn't give less of a shit about anything Verdelet has to say.
Whelp, good luck with that whole bleeding out thing... I'm going to go find something to kill. Later.
Verse 4: Strength Remains
I could see Caim just tapping his foot impatiently waiting for Red to get better so he can go back to killing stuff. With maybe hacking away at a tree or something to pass the time.
Alright, time for the first and only aerial mission of Chapter 4. This chapter is a fairly short one and actually adds a load of new enemies...which they then never use again... Drakengard!
Around this chapter Red finally stops bitching about Caim being such a psycho and just goes along with the flow. Getting her ass kicked by the Black Dragon has put her in a bit of a bad mood.
"Correct me if I am wrong but was he not there when we picked up the elf woman...? The very same one who's entire family was slaughtered so she went insane?"
Have you seen the old man? I think that petrified dragon of his was younger than him. Say, how old are you, dragon?
"Around 10,000. I stopped counting years a while back."
Fffffft... Huh... I can't whistle anymore either. Oh well. I had a joke about how he probably knew your grandfather but now I'm annoyed about the whistling thing. Let's go kill something.
See what I mean. He's telling us how a pact works.
<strains voice> "Caaaaaaiiim! You can inhale aaaaaair and process it with a straaaaange mechanism known as luuuuuuungs! With this daaaaaark proceeeeesssssss you can perform the aaaaaaancient rite known as breeeeaaaathing!"
Hehe. Let me try. Caaaaaaaiim! By puuuuuuting ONE foot forward THEN the oooooootheeeeer you will be able to TRAAAANSPOOOORT yourself. They caaaaaall this dark gift WALKING!
Nah, gramps. Trust me. You'll know when it's the end.
I hope to fuck it doesn't involve Caim stuck in a room flooding with water and a timed sliding block puzzle.
Thankfully they drop the Union's phantom army business after the next chapter. Moving right along...
Verse 5: Violent Lands
You see this right here? This is Verdelet issuing the Final Solution to The
And the rest of this chapter deals with Caim's Subhuman Holocaust. Really. The rest of this chapter is Caim ethnically cleansing the several species to extinction... one stabbed gut at a time.
But first a new weapon! Killing everyone in this odd crevice by the nearby hill (you can tell it's the right area by the two foot incline that's really an invisible wall) unlocks a treasure box in the same location. Easy money.
As I mentioned, this chapter actually has several new enemies. They are almost entirely of the non-human variety. All of which will never be seen again because Caim causes their races to go extinct.
First up, we've got these mobile artillery pigs. They've got little cannons that can easily be evaded by dodging to the right or left when they fire. Their front side is completely invulnerable, but circling around causes them to pick up the entire cannon and slowly circles around to fire on Caim. Needless to say, they usually become bacon before getting that second chance.
But, I don't have a shield...
"I realize that, what I meant by that was-"
And the only reason I forget who my enemies happen to be is because they die so quickly. Who has time to remember a dead guy? I mean I've already killed over two hundred of these buggers I can't be expec-
"Nevermind... Do as you will."
You say something. This guy got stuck on the end of my sword so I had to stab him harder to crack his skull open to get it out. I hate when that happens.
The goblins are back in this stage and they come in the far more assholish red variety. Much like the red armor imperial troops, they are invulnerable to magical attacks and send homing fireballs at Caim if he tries.
"Hehehe! AHAHAHAHA!" Hey, dragon. I can still laugh. Damnedest thing.
Ganondorf's fat downs syndrome cousin also comes in non-cannon form. These guys hit incredibly hard to the point they break Caim's guard. But, they're also slow as all hell and unlike most mobs, they come in groups of only three or four. On top of that they follow Kung Fu action movie fighting rules so as long as Caim blocks and isn't near other enemies, he's in the clear.
Verdelet's brush with...near death I guess he quickly got better from...certainly turned him into kind of an asshole. Don't worry, he'll be back to being a whiny useless prick soon enough. He just hates minorities.
I like this stage because, while there is only one map, the second half of it is actually significantly different than the first one. So...about those commanders...
Obese trolls lead the subhuman army. The Empire really needs to work on its fitness program. Trolls attack by posting messages on forums designed to spark anger and discontent among easily duped Internet denizens. If used correctly it can be an effective tool to stem the tide of a minor annoyance of said trolls with the added benefit of personal amusement.
Resident Evil 5 was my favorite LP thread.
But as far as Drakengard goes, just read what I said about pigmen. Same deal, slightly higher damage, not a pig.
Good GOD! Does this guy have an off button? He even knows I don't give a shit about what he has to say now. Dragon, could you tell him to shut up? Yes, I know my sister loves me. Damned shocker that.
"Err... Caim... I do not think that is what Verdelet was saying."
The hell do you mean? My sister has mushy sibling feelings for me. Aren't I special. Hey, guess what! My parents loved me too before a dragon ate them!
What next? My grandpa loved me? God loves me? Give me a break.
"Erm... Caim... Do you remember when we spoke of your sister back in the desert? Do you remember what I said about the passion in her soul?"
The what in the where now?
"Furiae's passion. Her feelings for you. They are deep... Deeper than blood relations..."
What, she thinks of me as a 'friend' too or some mushy crap?
"No, Caim. Deeper than that. Deeper than the love of friends - the love between a brother and sister."
Like...she wants to be my BFF? Since that's not a big problem I don't really have one. Well I did but he took an arrow to the throat a couple months ago. Had a bitching 'stache. I'll miss that guy.
"Oh...to hell with subtlety. Your sister wants you."
Yes, I know she likes having me by her side. Do you have poi-
"She wants to fuck you."
She... She's my sister. That joke isn't funny. I thought we were getting somewhere with this humor thing. That's not cool.
Umm... The "that is gross as hell" excuse. Why would you even joke about that?!
"I'm not joking, Caim. I've read her thoughts. Seen into her soul. She lusts for you Caim. That is why she rejected Inuart. That is why he turns on you. You cannot deny her feelings forever."
I think I'd know if my sister wanted to rock my bones, okay. Stop jumping to nasty incest conclusions. Inuart is a pansy that probably has a petrified dragon in his pants the size of my pinky. Plus she's the goddess. That's all there is to it.
"No, Caim. Honestly. I can read her mind. Her spank bank is filled wi-"
Hey look I haven't killed that guy over there let's go check that out! Yeah? YEAH!
<sigh> "You tread your own path..."
So yeah they downplayed it a shitload but Furiae wants to do the nasty with Caim. I'm not making that up. Indeed, it'll make a scene much later in the LP make a shit load more sense with that knowledge. Drakengard!
Yeah... I've got nothing as to what a "Fheng" is...
It may be "Keen" but is it a commander of such?
Caim Stabs the Air
Either demons in Drakengard's world are really persuasive or people are just fucking suckers. Though I will say suicide via self-decapitation is pretty metal.
Verse 6: Caim's Past
Drakengard: Where the southernmost map is a snowy wasteland.
Several dead pigs triggering a cutscene later...
Err... Yeah... Like "duh" yeah... That was sort of the whole crux of our tentative pact early on.
"Well no one informed me..."
I thought you could read "minds and souls and hearts" and shit.
"Just because I can does not mean I do."
That's what I like to hear.
Caim Stabs Oxygen
Chapter 4 Aerial Mission
Chapter 4 Ground Mission