The Let's Play Archive


by The Dark Id

Part 41: Episode XXXVII: In Which We Grapple With the Issue of Child Soldiers

Episode XXXVII: In Which We Grapple With the Issue of Child Soldiers

Alright, time for the first Pact Partner chapter. Each of our battle buddies has their own little sub-chapter. The unlock requirements for each chapter is usually playing the main plot up until the point we pick up our next ally. You can go back and play them any time from the mission select menu. But, as far as chronology goes, they basically serve as alternate takes on previous chapters.

Today we'll be taking a trip to the bizarro lower Eastern Europe to the Forest of the Seal.

Leonard's Regret is probably one of the more extensive ones, as it actually deals with attempting to check out the Forest Seal instead of buggering off after Verdelet and letting the place get sacked off camera.

Verse 1: The Forest of the Seal

Even though these chapters are supposed to be mild character building vehicles, that doesn't mean they are safe from filler's deadly grasp.

Why do I feel we are just going to end up wasting our time?
"Do not be so pessimistic, Caim."
I just got one of those feelings, ya know. Sure, I might have a good time killing a bunch of Imperials...but I've got this lingering feeling I'd probably be better off killing a bunch of Imperials elsewhere. Call it killer's intuition.
"I am... I'm not going to do that, Caim..."

For entirely puzzling reasons, Verdelet is with us for and drops a few lines during this chapter, despite the fact we still need to go rescue him again in the next chapter. But Verdelet, being the world's most useless ally ever, probably just got kidnapped again between chapters.

What's so bad about 'em? I've never met a faerie. Not that I'm going out of my way to meet one. I don't think there are any faeries in the Empire. And if there are, there won't be for long. Heh.
"Well, they have a terrible reputation of be-"
"Hey listen! What's up! What's that?! Listen! Hey, listen! What's up?! LISTEN! Hey, listen! Listen!"
"What is it?!"
"Oops... I forgot. Tee hee!"
"Being remarkably annoying..."

"Quickly! The forest of the seal is under attack!"

Verse 2: Smells

This isn't going to end well, is it?

"We must do something. "
"Hark, you, hark! Look in the shadows of the trees. The ones hiding away are probably fine. Ahahaha!"

"Look at the little eyes. Watching. Judging. Their mums tell 'em stories to stay away from lecherous old Leonard, but now their curiosity have the beeeeest of them! Hehehe."

"Are you shaking?! Ahaha! Over heeeeereeee! Here! Here! Hehehe! Oh, Leonard. I can see it in your eyes. Scandalous. Hehehe."
What the hell is that thing going on about?
"You do not want to know."

"Right, right! Young soldiers right out of training, gutted like fish! Eww. So many young nubile bodies. Oh boy, oh boy. I bet you're excited Leonard. Oh yep yep yep. A whole garrison of little boys. Betcha wish you'd gotten here alone. Hehe."
"Uhh..." *cough*

Dragon...what prisoners is he talking about...?
"I think he is just trying to change the subject."
Why do I feel like I'm missing half the story here.
"Hehehe. Don't tell him! That would ruin the surprise. Ahaha! You don't want to make poor Leonard feel embarrassed. It would ruin the moment! Hehe hahahaa!"
"We really need to develop a better screening process for allies..."

Verse 3: Grief

Well...this mission is...well, it's something else. The goal for Verse 3?

Kill all children!

Smokey the Bear is no longer fucking around when it comes to preventing forest fires.

Alright, fine Leonard. We'll try it your way.

Fine, fine. Let me call a truce with them.
*clears throat* Tell you what, kids. Lay down your swords, leave this place to never return, and renounce your allegiance to the Empire and I'll let you live. Failure to do so will be dealt with accordingly.
"Psst. Why is he staring at us like that...?"
"I...I dunno... He doesn't look very happy."
"He has a really big sword..."
"That is a really big sword."
"M-maybe we should go get help. F-from like the older officers or something."

"No. We can...we can do this! There...ain't nothing to be scared of there ain't. Come on! We can take him!"

Welp, Lenny's plan is a bust. On with the killing.

Never was too good at diplomacy.

Right... So, Leonard's chapter has the unique enemy of child conscript soldiers. Child soldiers are...about what you'd expect from a twelve year old boy with a sword against Caim. They're somewhat quick, but do piss all damage and Caim can end their lives in just one or two hits. Drakengard hates children, don't ya know?

The number of prompts to continually slaughter kids is pretty hilarious. The mission briefing writer goddamn lusts for spilled young blood.

"Hehehe! Oh yes, soft hearted indeed. But what's this? What's this?! Ooooh. Lookie look! Other parts of Leonard are getting harder. I wonder why? Heheh. Seems preeeeeeetty strange. Hahaha."
"I cannot... I cannot raise my weapon against such children."
"At least not with the one you're holding in your hand right now. Ohohoho."
"Soldiers are soldiers. Do not forget who is your enemy. Leonard, do you wish to die?"

No worries, Caim isn't forgetting any time soon.

A few dozen dead child soldiers later...

Before cutting down the last of the children in the area, let's go fetch another shiny new weapon. This one is found by traveling to the western most part of the map and killing all the horseback riders in the field that are hanging out there.

How much do you want to bet Verdelet wouldn't bat an eyelash if these were African child soldiers? Come to think of it, I don't think there actually are any minorities in the entire series. Sadly, anime hair pigmentation shows its groan worthy face in the sequel. Men should not have purple hair. Ever.

Insert several dozen more dead soldier kids here. Here's a highlight reel:


"Caim, please! No more... We cannot..."
Alright, I'm done with this. I'm stopping.
Well, yeah... You see anyone left to greet my blade?

"...I see. Very thorough..."
It doesn't even feel like work when you enjoy it.

"Ahhh... Good eye! Let's go pay 'em a visit.[/i]

This one had better involve killing animals.

During the fifth moon, we forgot to write a full story for this weapon so we just split up the one paragraph we had and called it a day.

Verse 4: Uncommon Mercy

"Stabbity stabin'! Stabbity stabin'! And I mean stab them with your sword. Hehehe. Don't get any fuuuuuuuunny ideas! Hoho. I've got my eye on you. Yup yup yup."

"You have time for such luxuries? Well, do you? Do you? Do you?!"

One of the boys isn't quite dead yet. Leonard rushes to his side.

"I'm afraid."
"Peace now. It is all over."
"Oh? Oh-oh-oh-oh? Feeling pity? For the enemy?! Can't start wavering now! Nope nope. But maybe it's not cuz he's the enemy. Oh... Filthy filthy human. Even now so filthy."

"What? Didja make him squeeeeeeeel like a pig?! Aha! Ahahahaa!"
What the shit is going on over here?!

"He is just a child!"
Sure is. Little bastards are resilient. I'll give them that. Out of the way so I can finish him.

The boy rises to his feet and summons wraiths out of fucking nowhere.

Whoops. It looks like the kid was just playing possum. Way to go Leonard. You got outsmarted by a fifth grader.

"Typical human. Thinking about what's in their pants rather than what their eyes see. Haha. Don't die, Leonard. I'm having tooooo much fun! Hehe."

Caim rushes in cuts and cuts the little possessed tike near in half to save Leonard.

Afterwards, there is a brief Event Stage battle against the wraiths that possessed the kid. There's also a weapon behind a shed due west from the starting location.

A few dead ghosts (that sounds really redundant) later...

And so Caim singlehandedly fixes the problem of child soldiers in impoverish war torn killing each and every last one of them.

Our hero, folks!

Skoll, eh?

Wikipedia posted:

In Norse mythology, Sköll (Old Norse "Treachery"[1]) is a wolf that chases the horses Árvakr and Alsviðr, that drag the chariot which contains the sun (Sól) through the sky every day, trying to eat her. Sköl has a brother, Hati, who chases Máni, the moon. At Ragnarök, both Sköll and Hati Hróðvitnisson will succeed in their quests.

And how much do we bet nothing vaguely wolf like appears in the story?

Nice work, demons. Piss off the guy who's making a weapon to kill you by killing his family. Don't actually...ya know...kill the guy with the skills to forge it.


Movies -
Preventing Forest Fires
To Continue: Insert Sword Into Evil Kid's Face

Music -
Leonard's Regret Aerial Mission
Leonard's Regret Ground Mission

Artwork -

Faerie Official Art