The Let's Play Archive

Dwarf Fortress - Headshoots

by Various

Part 70

Fragments of a journal recovered from a dwarven corpse. The body had been brutally mauled by multiple blows from heavy blunt objects.

--1st Limestone, 117

I arrived to take command of the fortress Headshoots today after a long journey from the mountainhomes. The countess is currently in residence here, and the leaders of the mountainhomes had expressed their doubts about the abilities of the past leaders. With good reason, I think, as I was greeted by a fortress in the least dwarf-like disarray I had ever witnessed. At least the place was made of stone.

Storming into the center of the fortress, my faithful squire Robert_Deadford at my side, I demanded to speak with the current leader. Instead of a warm reception I would normally expect, I was greeted by the Captain of the Guard, and a veritable horde of stray animals. I quickly told him the situation and he told me that a dwarf named "SpookyLizard" was currently in command of the fortress. I ordered her brought before me with as much haste as possible.

I met SpookyLizard in the hallway where I stood, and, to my surprise, she immediately acquiesced to my demands. Clearly this dwarf was weak-willed and ill-suited to the position of overseer. I promptly assumed command and ordered all the stray animals butchered for food.

--3rd Limestone, 117

Having not seen the countess nor consort around I asked as to their location, and after much prying I extracted this information from a hauler: The countess had been locked in her room by order of one of the fortress overseers, and the 'processing' lever pulled twice! Worrying I was too late, I quickly commanded the door unlocked and carefully opened by the same hauler.

Luckily, the room in which she was locked was full of water, not magma as I have seen in some of the insurrectionist forts I have brought to task. I immediately ordered my squire to imprison SpookyLizard, recognizing that the fortress guard may have been loyal to her and her dastardly plots. I shall have to watch the guard and the military carefully, from now on. I have no wish to have a wall quietly erected around my door while I sleep.

--8th Limestone, 117

Today I uncovered another of the failings of this fortress. The stores of drink had been reduced to a mere 13 barrels! I ordered the stills to maximum production, and I pray the brewers will get to work before this turns to crisis.

--13th Limestone, 117

Having been besieged by near-constant reports of zombie mountain goats scaring the peasants, and the apparent unwillingness of the standing military to deal with them, I vowed to personally hunt down and end this undead annoyance.

I think it went well.

--24th Limestone, 117

This place is a sprawling horror. One of the previous overseers had ordered vast stretches of stone excavated in no discernable pattern for no recognizable reason. I had heard there was adamantine in the depths, so I ordered the first miner I came across (a dwarf by the name of Otto Print) to lead me there to see if there was any more safe to extract.

I ordered a significant quantity mined out, my dwarven sense telling me we were still at least a few yards away from breaching the demon caverns that undoubtably lay behind.

--3rd Sandstone, 117

I received an urgent message from a runner today. A goblin snatcher had been spotted creeping towards the fortress by Rotinaj, an engraver. I cast about for my hammer and had the dwarf lead me to the goblin's last known location, but on the way I met a group of three champions returning to the barracks, goblin blood splashed across their adamantine armor. They assured me the scum had been taken care of.
It is good to know that, despite the other failures of Headshoots, the military is well in order when needed.

--5th Sandstone, 117

No migrants have arrived since I came to the fortress. I am not particularly worried, after all I would not expect any more to leave the mountainhomes for Headshoots until word of my safe arrival reaches them, at the very least.

--9th Sandstone, 117

I removed certain of the old leaders from their tombs today. and designated them as the eventual resting places of myself,

and my faithful squire, Robert_Deadford. Worry not, their remains were disposed of with all the ceremony required of a past leader.

I have also ordered the excavation of a monument to my leadership, and to the strength of the mountainhomes, lest this remote hell forget where it came from.

--21st Sandstone, 117

I was awakened from my slumber this night by a mechanic named "The Belgian". Stoicly bearing the pain of a badly burned leg, he told me he had stumbled across the zombie fire imp that had been scaring the peasants of late. Apparently it had chased him across half the surface of the fortress before he managed to lose it.

I ordered a squad of champions to the location he gave, and grabbing my hammer, rushed to join them. Arriving before any of the rest, I spotted the shambling beast and gave chase.

The fiend, focused on chasing down a hauler, didn't notice me until I was directly beside it. Its rotten brain and failing reflexes were no match for my honed skill, and I brough it down with two blows of my hammer.

--24th Sandstone, 117

I recieved word SpookyLizard had succumbed to starvation, her body found in a remote room walled off from the rest of the fortress. Judging her adequately punished, I allowed the wall to be removed so she could be placed in her tomb.

--27th Sandstone, 117

Horrors! Demons in the deeps!

(SWATJester is wrestling with the spirit of fire. He lost.)

I hurriedly order all nearby dwarves into the military, and direct the champions to the last spotted location of the demon.

(Valley is in one of those clouds of smoke. She died instantly.)

Sadly, we were too late to save two dwarves. SWATJester and Valley perished to the Fire Spirit's evil flames.

Traxus IV was the first champion to reach the demon. Wielding his battle axe with great alacrity and skill, he beheaded the fiend with a single stroke! I note that to properly defend Headshoots I must carefully check over the adamantine mines to see where this fiend came from. Perhaps it is time I led an expedition of champions to cleanse the pits.


Guys, I have no clue where anything is. It takes me at least 10 minutes of scrolling around every time I want to do anything. The fortress is a sprawling hell of tunnels, tombs, and (*-((Golden Goblet))-*)s.

It's glorious.

I'll have another update tomorrow.