Part 43: Go, Lizard Wizard, Go!

Go, Lizard Wizard, Go!

Note: this update marks a shift back to mostly in-character commentary. When I need to state something from my own point of view, it will be in italics, like this. Also, apparently I can't decide on my narrative tense.


I received a few letters the other day directly from the Archcanon. Apparently we're going to have a serious talk regarding the whole Nerevarine thing.


The letter mentioned the High Fane...that would be in the Temple canton, if I'm not mistaken.


Here we are. They should really spruce up that floating rock of theirs, sometime.


Maybe a buttress or two?


...okay, I'm not actually sure what a buttress is, but I know they're rather churchy andYIKES.


Come on, get off me.


I'm not even wearing your sacred armor anymore. You're just being petty at this point.


What an annoyance.


Well. Thank you. At least you know how to give a warning.


Now, if priests are anything like mages...


You, with the fancy robe. Might you be the Archcanon? Yes, he responds, I might be the Archcanon.


He just sort of glared at me, and there was an awkward silence. So, he asked, was I sorry about killing that Ordinator? Sure, I said, it was regrettable, sorry about that. He then told me that maybe the Temple could stand to be nicer about this whole Nerevarine thing.


He gave me a key and, well, sent me to talk to Vivec himself.


Somehow I wasn't expecting him to be floating.


Firstly, he...I think he basically forgave me in the wordiest way possible.


He gave me this gauntlet. Wraithguard, he called it.


He asked if I really, really wanted to do this. Hell, I came this far. Couldn't really say no.


Good, he said. He was hoping I'd say that.


Things went a little...existential for a moment, and he went on to lay down the plan.


I was to get two artifacts. Keening, a blade, and Sunder, a hammer. I was to strike the heart once with Sunder, and strike it thrice with Keening. This would disrupt and splinter the heart's energies. He was also nice enough to mark my map, show me where they were hidden.


And just like that, I was off. I had a plan of my own.


Dagoth Ur...that guy has the same power as the Tribunal, right? I was gonna need all the power I could get. So first thing's first, I set out for Ald Redaynia, where Sheogorath said I could get that fork thingy. Gonna kill me a giant netch and get me some daedric artifact or something.


As I passed by the Ghostgate, I pondered. I could easily get Keening and Sunder right now, on the way, seeing as I'm already flying.


So I made my descent, following my map. Apparently Vemynal is an old dwemer fortress. But then, Kagrenac was a dwemer himself, so no big surprise there.


It was crawling with Dagoth Ur's minions, of course.


Deep down in the bowels, there was a man in distinctive ceremonial clothing. I've run into a few of them before, and they're the only ones among the Sixth House's numbers that seem to speak intelligibly. Basically, he was one of Dagoth Ur's generals.


So I did what I do best.


Sure enough, he was guarding Sunder with his life. That tiny gavel was thrumming with power.


But I had no time to enjoy that. I had another artifact to find.


Terrain leading up to this one was a bit rougher. Not that it mattered at the time.


This time I didn't have to go too deep to find Dagoth's general, but he didn't have Keening.


They probably hid it a bit better this time, so I looked around.


A hatch?


Weird. It's almost like they were worshipping the thing. Needless to say, I grabbed it. But I was beginning to get weighed down.


So I left some of my old weapons there. Then I realized I should probably keep Chrysamere, at least. It's supposed to be holy. Might help against a god.


Before I swooped away, I slipped on Wraithguard, readied Keening. I mean, come on, it's a dwarfmake CRYSTAL DAGGER.


I couldn't just NOT try it out.


Still, I had some unfinished business. I made my way to Ald Redaynia...


...and the levitation gave out. Real funny, shrine. Real funny.


Fortunately, it wasn't much of a swim to the nearest island. And fancy that, a shack. Just like Sheogorath said.


The guy inside went on for a while about how he was crazy.


So I just took the fork and let him keep doing what he was doing.


Damn thing sucked the magicka right out of me. I stalked netch after netch.


No giant ones in sight, though. Man, this was stupid. I was looking for a giant bull netch to try and poke with a fucking eating utensil because the daedric prince of WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT told me to.


Fork it. I had a heart to wreck.


I made my way to the Ghostgate and just flew over it. Wonder if the Tribunal ever took levitation into account.


I approached that citadel from above. Gotta give Dagoth Ur a little credit for having an evil-ass fortress.


Of course, the door was locked. No problem. There's usually a switch somewhere...


Bingo. Right there, on that pipe.


Door opens. I'm ready for this.


Dagoth Ur speaks to me magically, tries to convince me to give up the artifacts. He also mentions Akulakhan. The hell is that?


Funny. I'm already on my way to the Heart Chamber.


I press on, swatting his minions aside and trying as hard as I can to flip him off telepathically.


Deeper I go. I wonder how much of this machinery Dagoth Ur jury-rigged, and how much the dwarves just left running when they disappeared.


Further, deeper. One of his generals tries to stop me. All he does is help that amulet of mine charge my magicka back up.


Further still. The fortress gives way to raw caverns. Odd.


There he is.


I waste no time. I raise my sword. He goes down too easy.


That sealed door opens on cue. There's...some big man or something carved on it?


And what's this? A protective ring? I can only hope I don't need it.


I make my way in. It's hot. Dagoth Ur mocks me. Of COURSE that other Dagoth Ur was an illusion. He approaches me, slowly. All I can do is stare at that huge golem behind him, unmoving.


I make my way down the scaffolding, looking over my shoulder for fireballs.


There's the heart. I whip out Sunder.


I strike it once, just like I was told.


Then I fish Keening out of my robes and plunge it into the heart. Dagoth Ur wasn't expecting this. I'm so close to ending this. I've got goosebumps.


Dagoth Ur screams at me as I take that second stab. I'm getting light-headed, but I know I'm winning. He places a hand on my shoulder and looks at me with fear and concern. I pause, and look down in my hands.


...it's the fork. Why is it the fork. I pat myself down annnnnnnd fuck. I definitely feel Keening in my pockets.


My head spins, my body whirls and a nausea overcomes me. All I can say is I'm moving. But...not. I'm moving like I've never moved before. And then, a bright light.











Apparently, it is my birthday.

Confused? Oddly enough, this is continued in Lizard Wizard's Fallout 3 LP.