Part 79: EpilogueUpdate 73 The Generic Dungeon, and Two Epilogues
THE GENERIC DUNGEON
"Oh! I know! For some reason, this pillar only works when you put some pants on them. Aren't I glad I've been carrying this pair around."
"Why do you have those?"
"Can't a woman wear pants?"
"Now, we step on that rune."
"Is this a good idea?"
"Where are we?"
"Oh great, one of these places."
"This place ... it doesn't feel real."
"No, it feels ... undone? Is that even right?"
"Well, Cave Rats aren't exactly a challenge."
"Skeletons and Cats?!?! This is ... like ... the weakest monsters we could be fighting."
"Well, hopefully the loot is better."
"This is a stone knife! My teeth are better weapons than this!"
"I'm sure you can see a stick around here. That would be worse."
"I think I know this feeling."
"It's the lack of effort."
"Well, perhaps there's something intelligent here."
"Huh. Yep. One of those places."
"Hail, Generic Guard!"
You meet a guard.
"So, what's your name?"
"I'm a guard."
"And what is your job?"
"I'm a guard," he says helpfully.
"So, what do you guard?"
"I wonder if they have generic beer?"
A dark, embittered man sits at the bar, waiting for you.
"Hello. I'm Art. What's your name?"
"Jeff. What's it to you?"
"Politeness. What is your job here?"
"I'm here to tell you my whole life story. What'd you expect?"
What? Your whole life?
Yeah. Isn't that what everyone supposed to do? You want in, some random weird looking heavily armed people from the Empire's enemy, and I'm supposed to just spill my guts to you. Right? It's so implausible, it makes me sick.
I just have one of those faces that people open up to. But you don't look sick.
I didn't want to be in this game. It's shareware, for God's sake! I wanted to be in a nice commercial game.
What sort of game do you want to be in?
Like Daggerfall! That would be awesome! Not much dialogue, but high exposure! Great for good roles! Or Diablo! Or even Ultima Online! Anything with a nice shiny box.
Whatever. Blah, blah, blah.
Really? Is that all you have to say? blah?
Oh, just go and finish the game. You're close. I'm going to work on my resume.
I'm pretty sure this would be good for the resume. Indy games are like that.
Well, thank you for your time. Bye.
I'm going to pull it!
Who is that?
What could be here?
Knowing what we've encountered so far, probably nothing.
This isn't interesting at all!
Well, that was that. There should be one last thing to do.
What do these words mean?
One last portal.
EPILOGUE THE ZEROTH
Are you ready for this? Anaximander asked.
No. But it has to be done. Good luck with your new position.
And you too, Anaximander.
EPILOGUE THE FIRST
Hey, everyone, wake up! It's time to meet Anaximander!
Oh right, introductions all around. I'm Jenneke, newly recruited. I specialize in swords, and I won the straw draw last night, so I'm leader until we can make a more permanent decision.
Thissa. I am from Gnass. I stab things, nothing less. And possibly more.
My name is Frrrrrr. I can do many things, except cast spells.
That's where I come in. I am Adrianna, mage. I can't say I'm the best at it, but there's always room for improvement.
Feodoric is the name. I dabble in martial magic, a long road to greatness.
And lastly, that makes me. I'm Michael, down from Formello. I am a holy priest, and am ready to defend us to the last.
Cool! Let's go meet the boss!
As you enter the room, you see an older woman sitting at the desk, bent over with pen in hand and examining a parchment. Her auburn hair is turning grey, and while she has the complexion of an Exile, her skin shows signs of being out in the sun. What draws your eyes though, are the two Vahnatai blades sitting beside her, and the emblem of an Imperial Dervish on the wall.
Hello? Ma'am? You wanted to see us?
Ah, yes. There you are. My name is Anaximander, and welcome to field duty for Unspecified Services.
Jenneke, Thissa, Frrrrrr, Adrianna, Feodoric and Michael. What is our job?
She laughs, but you're not certain it's with humor. Don't be so hasty. Yes, I have tasks for you, but you don't need to be in such a rush.
To the surface?
Yes. You do have tasks up there.
What would be those tasks, Anaximander?
Three of them at this point. The first is to go to the surface and head north to Lorelei. I have a missive for our Embassy up there. She hands you a sealed scroll. Take it to our Ambassador up there. He may ask you to return with a reply, he may not. As for the others, that's a bit more complicated.
How complicated, Sir?
Could be bad. Could be easy. You're to head east to Golddale, and get in contact with our survey team out there. They are laying out plans for the city of Dawn, and are running into trouble.
There is no trouble we can't handle!
There are reports of a rogue pyromancer in the area. Talk to them if you can, and convince them to stop getting in the way of our people. They may be wanting their privacy, they may be mad. Use your judgement.
You'll trust our ability to judge the situation?
That's why you're here. If we couldn't, you would be in Unspecified Services. Now go, you're dismissed.
EPILOGUE THE SECOND
Yesss, thiz iz important.
We need to be done this quickly. I cannot leave the New Tower for long. Not with the Castle breathing down our necks for further oversight.
You cannot blame them.
... No. I can't. I was lucky I was outside the tower when it happened. I helped contain the damage until Art was able to fix it.
I can hear them. Ssskittering away.
I'll start on this side, and you on that side.
Shall you do the honours?
Thank you. After all, you got to do this last time.
And I will seal that up.
Now we wait.
So, you are on the Triad now?
In all but name. Solberg has given his tacit approval, and X has, in their usual manner, not objected at all.
You have done well with your ascension.
Yeah. I just wish that Erika was a bit more prepared for her death. The Redmark Academy is nice and all, but it will take years to safely get into her tower.
Perhapsss Art can help?
No. I don't want to bother her with that. She was there, at the end.
It iz done. Hopefully, none of them escaped this time.
Death to the Giant, Intelligent, Friendly, Talking Spiders.
* * *
Thank you all. This LP began on March 6, 2016 and was finished on June 15th, 2017. The start of the trilogy happened on March 16, 2013.
It has been a long four years. I had to take breaks weeks or even months at a time but I pulled through in the end. Completed 5 other LPs while I was doing these even!
There are too many people to name, for those who commented and contributed to my work here you are all recognized. Thank you.
Art's story has ended. There is nothing more to say. I will not be advancing into Avernum 4-6. Certainly not with her at the helm. I have other projects I want to pick back up and finish. And if you know me by now, it's that I will finish what I started.
Thank you all, again. And I'll see you next time.