Part 91: DS Screw Anatomy! part 1

DS Update 33: Screw Anatomy! part 1


Welcome back, one and all!

Last time, our heroes defeated a dragon-moon-god thing and it joined our cause!


Armed with the destructive force that is Bahamut, we're ready to head back and see about this Giant of Babil business.


But first, I'm gonna heal up and resupply a bit. That dungeon left the party bruised, battered, and drained!


Second, Cecil is going back to Crouching Tiger mode. Gonna Kick the shit outta that Giant!


Not going back to the planet just yet, though.


We're dropping in on the Hummingway again to stock up.


Huh. -ingway is gone.


Anyway, once you head back to the planet, you're on rails for quite some time. This shop is your only chance to stock up on supplies before then! Make sure you take advantage of this, especially if you did what I did...


Dry Ethers are really expensive. They're honestly not really worth it.


Especially considering you can buy these at slightly more than twice the price, and they refill all your MP, not just 100. 100 MP honestly is little more than a drop in the bucket at this point.

However, buying even 2 of those would bankrupt me, so I don't buy any. I still have like... 8 of them. I think I'll be fine!


I do buy a couple Remedies and Sirens, though. I'll need the Sirens to show off some things.


And, at last, we're ready!


Strap yourselves in. The plot train's a-comin'!


Regardless of where you took off to head to the moon, you always come back here. We are officially on the rails. Here we go!


The screen begins to shake wildly.



It's the Tower of Babil!

We were too late!

What!?


I don't like the sound of that...

This next little bit is significantly flashier than in previous versions, and I think it's best represented in video. Click for your viewing pleasure:


Polsy version








Our heroes are close to giving in to despair.

What's that!?


Huh. Looks like something is blowing the shit out of the Giant!


It's... the Red Wings?!


And the dwarves, too!






Well, don't that just beat all?

And in another tank...


Yang?! It's Yang!


You push yourself too hard!

Shut up! Yang's got this.




Fantastic! Let's check out the Red Wings...


Cid! It's Cid!


I know have total confidence in this operation. There is no way, no how, anything can go wrong with Yang and Cid on the case!

But that's not all!


Palom's back!


Yes, yes I did, little buddy.


Porom too?!

Oh hell yeah, the murdertwins are back baby!


This is a battle for all who live and breathe upon this planet!

But the buck doesn't stop there!


Eddie?! Who let you out of bed?


All right, all right. Just be careful not to slip a disc, or something!

So, the gang's all here! _{Except Tellah. He's still dead.}


The Red Wings and the dwarves continue to pound on the Giant of Babil. Way to go team!




Oh? They managed to put a dent in it? That's the ticket!


Hell yeah. Time to kick ass!


Edge does a little nod, which I felt merited a gif, for whatever reason.

Right! Then we can slice up whatever controls it from the inside!




Cid is on the case!


The party runs up to Cid, and Fusoya gets right down to business.


Oh, right. Cid hasn't met Fusoya.

His name is Fusoya. He's from the moon.

He's also your moon-uncle, Cecil. Don't you think that's worth mentioning?

The moon!?

We've no time. Can you take us near enough to jump?


Never doubt the Cid, Fusoya.


Meanwhile, our friends continue blasting the Giant.


And the screen begins to shake wildly.




We're doing it, baby!




Welcome to the Giant of Babil. It's a short dungeon, with an awful, awful lot of Plot. Let's get started!


Indeed. I fear we must. We can't even leave until we've cleared this place!


This is a lie. We can take as long as we want.




These two are related.


Oh, I'm sure they'll be fine.


Anyway, this first area is very small. There's not even a map to fill in! We'll just move right along.


Ensign, five to beam up!


And here's our first proper floor.


Just kidding!

Obtained 3 X-Potions

At least we still get a prize, and a nice one at that!


Of course, there are enemies here, and all of them are new!

These are Centaurions (a portmanteau of centaur and Centurion, clever). They have 9,999 HP, and they're weak to lightning. In fact, all the enemies here are weak to lightning!


They're pretty fast, but they don't hit very hard.


They're no match for Flying Paladin Kick!


So, given all the lightning weaknesses running around, Ramuh is your new best friend!


A couple of Kicks from Cecil soften them up, and then:


Kzzzap!

Who's the MVP of this dungeon? Yes once again, it's our favorite little murderess, Rydia!


Away Team to Bridge, energize!


OK. Now we're on the first proper floor.


Complete with treasure! Hell yes! This will come in most handy.


This... not so much. Come on, game! This is getting ridiculous. I need X-Potions, minimum! Elixirs would be even better!


Oh, whatever. New enemies!


The thing in the back that's about to ruin Cecil's day is a Beam Cannon, packing a mere 6,000 HP. Ramuh can nearly one-shot it (and a single-target Thundaga straight up can.)


Beam looks cool,


and it smarts real, real bad. Get in a battle with two of these things, and Cecil's probably taking a dirt nap. This is somewhat of a problem because of their buddies.


The guys in front are Clockwork Soldiers. They have 9,800 HP, they're very fast, and they will absolutely shred anyone not named Cecil!


Of course, every time one of them hits Cecil, he kicks them all in the face.


For best results, apply Ramuh liberally!




And there goes Cecil. Oh boy...


Ow! It hurts, it hurts!


Fortunately, Rydia flings Ramah at them before they have a chance to do more damage.


It drops the Beam Cannon, but not the Clockwork Soldiers, sadly.




And Rosa fires off a Curaga, far too late to save Cecil.

Honestly, if you're fighting Beam Cannons, you should probably queue up a Curaga on Cecil right away. If you wait until he needs it, he'll be dead before it goes off!




Ow! Knock it off, you jackasses! Leave my poor squishies alone.


Fusoya, do something useful for once!


It's a start, anyway.


Since I'm trying to conserve Shurikens, I have Edge do something out of character and actually use his swords!


Honestly... that's not bad at all! Good job, Edge. You've come a long way.


And he's fast enough that he's able to attack the other one before Ramuh goes off!

But sadly, he doesn't kill it.


Ramuh does, though!


Time to revive Cecil.


Like in the Tower, keep your HP up at all times. There's nothing nearly so nasty here as the Flamehounds, but it still pays to be prepared.

Besides, after getting through the Lair of the Father, I think I'm ready for just about anything!

Oh, and I think I hardly need to mention this, but I will anyway. This is another one-off area. If you're a completionist, make sure you encounter/scan all the enemies here, and get all the treasures. You'll especially want to make sure you complete all the maps, since this is your only chance to do so!


All right, seriously, game. It's not funny. These things don't even come close to cutting it anymore! Heck, Dry Ethers barely do! Step it up.


... OK, now the game's just trolling me.


Oh yay. Double Beam Cannons.


It occurred to me at this point that I might be able to do some fun things with Edge. I hardly ever use his Ninjitsu. Let's fix that!


Er, hang on. Cecil's busy getting his ass kicked. I told you two Beam Cannons can take his ass out in a hurry!

In fact... Cecil spent an awful lot of time with his face in the dirt in this dungeon.


Of course, me being dumb doesn't help.


Still, that MP recovery is coming along nicely.


Fucking ow! Fusoya, you know what to do!


Meanwhile, Edge is gonna run interference.




That's... actually really good! That's more damage than Cecil does with Kick! I mean, it's hitting an elemental weakness, but still! That's impressive.


Still doesn't hold a candle to what Rydia can do, but few things do!


And Edge finishes it off.


Murder levels: rising!


That's another floor complete!

Obtained 5 Remedies

All right, that's decent, I guess. I'll take it.


More of these, hmm? Don't mind if I do!


The Beam Cannons can drop Tents. How... hilariously inadequate!


*insert nerdy sci-fi reference*


Stomach? Just where is the CPU on this thing, anyway? I would think we'd be heading to its heart... (Well, really its brain, but clearly that's right out!)




Hey, a couple of good prizes, for once! Since Rosa got the MP+ Augment, Rydia will probably get the Soma Drops. It's only fair!


Oh, here's a new one. That thing is a Searcher. They're a gimmick enemy.

In previous versions, if you wanted a sufficient quantity of Sirens for... things... you pretty much had to Steal them en mass from the Searchers here. Tedium!

Good thing I can just buy 'em. I don't have to mess with that shit!


Anyway, Searchers have 9,350 HP and no attacks of their own.


Instead, they do this, which is a precursor to their gimmick.


Oh, and their defense is ass. It's totally possible to kill them before they do anything else.


If you don't drop it right away, the Searcher does this.


And summons his little friend.




Rydia fries it for its trouble.




Eh. Still not bad!


Of course, this thing can do this.


That stings! Just a little...


It even hits Cecil pretty hard!

Anyway, this thing. If it looks familiar, that's because it's the Armored Fiend's little brother.


Armor Constructs have a beefy 23,000 HP, by far the most HP of any monster in this dungeon, but they're still weak to lightning.

Oh, and they're not nearly as threatening as their red palette swap cousins!


All the same, it doesn't hurt to throw up a Protect/Blink on anyone likely to incur its wrath. (Read: Cecil, Edge, or Rydia.)


And keep up with your healing. No reason not to!


Kung-fu Kick!




That'll help!




That... not so much.

(Again, stick Blink on Rydia to avoid that kind of stuff.)


Oddly, the Armor Construct is rather evasive. He dodged 3 or so Kicks from Cecil.


Blitz again.


Because why not?


He eats a Counter, but whatever.


Slowing the enemy is never a bad idea!


Especially when you can heal your guys at the same time. ( Dualcast)


A one-two punch of Thundaga and Kick,


and the bastard goes down! Also, apparently it can drop Ogrekillers? Odd. (They're just vendor trash at this point, anyway.)


Our main healer gets even better at healing.


And that's another floor complete!

Obtained Dry Ether

Clearly the game is taking what I said earlier to heart!


*Teleportation sound effect*


We arrive in the... Inner Passage. And just what part of the body is this supposed to be? Are we in the intestines now, or something?

Again, where are we going?


Edge joins the level 60 club before we get too far in the floor.

Learned Frost

And he picks up his last Ninjitsu!


Now he can hit ice weaknesses too! (In fact, I think he can hit every weakness except dark and holy. Not bad!)


Much better, game. Much better!

And, is that -ingway I spy over there? What's he doing here?


Well, before we can see what -ingway's deal is, we have some new enemies to deal with.


These guys are kind of the Flamehound equivalent in this dungeon, in that they have Scorch.


But... eh. Not so much. They're not nearly as threatening. These are Clockwork Dragons, packing the second highest HP in the dungeon- 18,000, and the usual lightning weakness.


Their normal attacks don't hit hard enough for it to be too much of a worry. Besides, they're not terribly quick. You should have no trouble keeping up with your healing.


There, Cecil finally got to Kung-fu Kick a dragon!


Another dragon bite puts Cecil at critical health.


But it's OK. Rosa's on the case!


I'm so glad I finally figured out that Slow can be multitargeted!


It means I can Slow them both and still heal everybody up!




Edge just can't wait to zap some dragons!


Neither can Rydia.




Pfft. Whatever.

Another round of Blitz and Ramuh, and the Dragons are dismantled.


Ooh, Fusoya levelled up! Maybe he'll finally turn things around!


Hahaha, yeah right.


Anyway, we've reached the end of the dungeon, more or less.


Oh, we're not done with it, not by any stretch. There's far too much Plot still to go.


I mean, physically we're at the end of it.

From here it's just boss fights and cutscenes. Now, let's see what -ingway has to say!


Uh, I guess it's not -ingway? Just a lookalike!


Well let's see what he has for sale-

Wait a tick.


Shurikens! Sweet Ambrosia! I'll take this many!


I am so very glad I was able to replenish my Shuriken supply. There's a boss rush coming up, and I'd hate to have to hold Edge back.

Although, considering his physical damage has been coming along, it might not have been so bad...

Obtained Elixir

A very nice piece of loot to round out the map completion of this dungeon!


Before moving on, I shuffle around my commands a bit. Edge will need Steal back.


And Cecil is going into Love and Peace mode again. Boss rush means single targets, meaning Rosa's Love is a better choice.


But as to what awaits us... well, I'm afraid that will have to wait until next time!

Stay tuned for the thrilling conclusion of the Giant of Babil!

Oh, and if we could hit a new page by then, that would be just swell. I anticipate the next update will be fucking massive! I'll see you then.