The Let's Play Archive

Final Fantasy IX

by Mega64

Part 3

Today, let's start things off with another FMV.

Vivi and Puck manage to sneak it to the noble seats. Good for them!


Anyway, this is the same girl who was off dreaming about sea storms the first update.

And this is some random guy.

Anyway, the play is starting and everyone is happy.

Well, almost everyone.


Tonight's performance is a story that takes place long, long ago. Our heroine, Princess Cornelia, is torn from her lover, Marcus. She attempts to flee the castle, only to be captured by her father, King Leo. When our story begins, Marcus, having heard of this, crosses swords with the king. And now, Your Royal Majesty, Queen Brahne, Your Highness, Princess Garnet...

Marcus! Thou hast lost even thy love!
Fortune hath escap'd thee! For what end shalt thou live?

For the sake of our friend... Let us bury our steel in the heart of the wretched King Leo!

Pray, sheathe thy swords! This villain is mine alone!
Nay, kinsman! For I, too, have lost a brother to this fiend!
What ho? Out, vermin! Away! Thou darest bare thy sword before the king!? All who stand in my way will be crush'd!
Treacherous Leo, my kinsman's suffering shall not be in vain!

And so we get into a pretty sweet battle. So sweet I made a video of it.

There's two guys that go down in a hit each.

This is no ordinary battle. This is a play battle.

So everyone can cast "spells" that do nothing but be fanciful.

If you want to be efficient, you stick to physical attacks to bring the guy down to advance the plot.

If you want to put on a show for a bunch of virtual people that don't actually exist, you mix in some SFX spells to make it look awesome.

I think we know what the correct option is.

King Leo mixes in some physical attacks, but again, this battle is for show. You have to try to lose.

And so our noble heroes soundly defeat the evil king. Or alternatively, the Tantalus crew beat up their boss while he wears a king costume.

Come back!

Consider this, Zidane! If Prince Schneider were to marry Princess Cornelia, peace would reign over both their kingdoms!
Tis foolishness! If all were so easy, why, none would suffer in this world!

You can't spell "words" without "sword" so

So we get to our next minigame, and it's a fun if not frustrating one.

Blank tells you one of eight buttons to press, and you press it.

Each does a certain move. The face buttons have you do attacks while the directional buttons let you move or dodge. Of course, it depends entirely what Blank says.

After 49 or so prompts, the battle finishes.

You get one free noble, and you get one noble for scoring all 49 correct. For the other 98, you get one for getting the prompt right, and one for getting the right prompt quickly enough.

We can impress Queen Brahne but neither we nor the game itself cares what she thinks.

If you want, you can retry. And it's not a bad idea, because you can actually get some nice rewards for doing well. In particular, getting all 100 gets you a massive 10k Gil, which is a ton for so early in the game, and a Moonstone, which is handy for reasons.

Honestly, I don't know if you get the 10k gil if you get them all the first time or if you'll still get the gil in future attempts. I just reloaded a save state any time in case of the former. I did rely a lot on that horrible guide when I first played the game...

Unfortunately, the highest I can get legit is 96, which I got several times. Might have something to do with input lag maybe? Or maybe I just suck.

Anyway, here's a video of me getting 96 if you want to watch a nice spectacle.

Eventually I cranked the FPS down to 10 and cheated my way to victory because as a Let's Player I'm allowed by law to cheat in my LPs.

Worth it for that money.

Yeah, but this helmet...

What are you talkin' about!? My helmet totally reeks!

You still have the package, right?

Alright! First, I'll go pour some sleep potion into Princess Garnet's teacup!
And I've got a special something for the lovely queen!

Zidane and Blank have managed to sneak into Alexandria Castle. Now to abduct the princess. Hey, at least we're the ones doing the kidnapping for once.

...the royal seats should be right above these stairs!
Got it!
Uh-oh! The scene where Marcus sneaks into Cornelia's chamber is about to start! Let's get this over with before the finale, okay?

Now to carry out our mission.

Step one: Ogle some half-naked guards.

Step two: Ogle some more half-naked guards.

No, ma'am! Nothing to report!
Very well. Continue your patrol.
Yes, ma'am! At once, ma'am!

Step three: Do our job.

...Step two and a half: Ogle a pretty white mage.

Umm... Would you please let me pass?

Oh yeah, one of Zidane's big character traits is that he's sixteen and of course obsessed with women. This white mage is a woman, so of course he's gonna stare at her face like a creepy goon.

Let's see...

Oh, no. You see...

Excuse me? You were waiting for me?
Yeah! I've dreamt of meeting you here ever since I was born!
Do you mock me?
No, of course not!...
Then, I shall take my leave of you!

Haven't we met before?
No, I do not know you...


Are you serious!?

It seems Princess Garnet spends part of her free time cosplaying as a White Mage. Better than a Berserker in this case.


This is terrible!
Our heads, Queen Brahne will have!

Meet Zorn and Thorn. Zorn's blue, Thorn's red. Zorn speaks normally, Thorn abnormally he speaks.

I know it is not the right way!
Really, do you?
I really do!
Wonder, I sometimes do.
N-Now is not the time to wonder!

N-Not the right way, I know!
Do you really?
Know I really do!!!
I really wonder sometimes.
Th-The time to wonder, now is not!

See the queen, we must!

An emergency, it is!
A veritable emergency of terrible urgency!
Very well. I'll see what I can do.

So, what exactly is the problem?
Her Royal Highness...
Princess Garnet...

I see. Wait right there.

This is Queen Brahne. She is a reference to the FF4 airship The Big Whale.

Your Majesty, I'm afraid Princess Garnet has-
Ah, yes... She did leave her seat awhile ago.

Well, of all the... What could she be thinking!?

So, that goofy, easily-frustrated knight?

He's another main character. And he's one of the best characters in a game full of awesome characters.

Go find Garnet!

Captain Adelbert Steiner is one of the few male guards of Alexandria. In fact, he's captain of the Knights of Pluto, which has a whole eight male members under him.

He's also a giant oaf and I love him for it.

Huh? Where is everybody!?

What are you talking about!? There's only two of you!

I bring orders from the queen!

Next time, Steiner goes on the offensive as we finish up the introductory section.