Part 65: Wait What

Seriously? Seriously? I mean, I know we're FF12 hatebros, but this, I cannot abide.

I mean yeah, the guy has misses--Blue Dragon in particular comes to mind--but it's really tough to get a perfect score like FF9. Lost Odyssey, for all its fantastic tracks, certainly has a couple of mind-numbing pieces. Still, if they bring The Last Story over, I'm getting a Wii solely for that. Won't get the soundtrack till then, I don't like to listen to an OST until after I've finished a game. Already spoiled myself over one or two games like that.


hooooooooold on a second




How


"You too"!? How the fuck did you even get here, I left you and your boat on the damn Mist Continent


"I don't know <ribbit>. I hope they're all right."


"That voice... it's Kuja!"




"My, my, aren't we feisty today.
No need to worry about them. They're in rooms unlike yours.
Oh yes... By the way, I should probably enlighten you as to your current situation."


GASP IT'S RED CARPETING


"... I would be sitting on a red carpet?"
"... Well, yes, but uh. I wanted the lava pit but the county forbade it. Fire hazard, you know."






If you say "Never!" I think he opens the floor some more. I wouldn't really know, because everyone knows it's just a Communist Choice anyway.




... How exactly do you plan to do this?




"Just cut to the chase and tell me what the hell you want!"
"My, we're upset, aren't we? Well, this is your errand...
I want you to go somewhere and bring something back for me."






"It really isn't my kind of place."
"What do you mean by that?"
"They really, really dislike transvestites, that's all."


"And I want to send you because you're too stupid to use magic."




"Perhaps it's too much for you. I'd better send you with three of your friends just to be safe.
Besides, nobody likes to fight against himself."


I'm sensing a disparity here. Well I'll bring alone 'Iole since she's slightly-less useless in Oelivert. You might say, "But The White Dragon, she has MP healing!"

And then I would say something like, "Shut up"












Honestly that would've been a pretty clever twist (and pretty hilarious) if Kuja had been Hilda in disguise.


It must suck running errands for Kuja. You're walkin' along goin' to Safeway, chillin', listening to your iPod or somewhat and BAM OGRES









:lessgay:




Oh well that's kind of unimpressive now.








Oh, you again.




"Oh yeah well I can bust a rhyme too here listen
if you don't shut the fuck UP
i'm gonna kick your ASS
... wait"








Oh how generous of you.


This is the first place you can buy Vaccines, and the last until after the first time you'll need them, so stock up.


The Armstrong is a pretty cool boss in Crystal Chronicles. He appears in a ruined city, and apparently his explanation there is that he's a building that got infested with a sentient fungus.


Catoblepas is only threatening if you are retarded


There are some Chocobo tracks here. Kind of a pain to get to.

Also Open Office is officially better than Microsoft Word, because I was typing tra-cks and it suggested that I was typing tra-nsvestites.


The Forgotten Continent just isn't a fun place to do Chocobo Treasures on.


The Demon's Mail is the Tantarian's rare steal.


It is as shitty as it looks. It boosts your Dark-element attacks, but the only ones knight armor characters get is Huihui and his Darkside, which sucks because it eats your MP, and Doomsday Sword, which you don't get until the end of the final dungeon.


Ehhhh we'll have time to sightsee later.


There's a Genji Helmet in this crack here.


This one starts with an un-noteworthy reward...


... and then we get 'Iole's best weapon. Unfortunately, it doesn't even teach Dragon's Crest, so it's a big piece of crap.

Also I'm under the impression that if a dragon had hair, it would be a wild afro or something. Not like, a Blaxploitation afro, just huge and crazy.


Great upgrade for Kawelo in this Chocobo Treasure though.


A suspiciously-shaped hole that blows wind out.


And here we are.

NEXT TIME

show's over, we're goin' home