Part 1: Part One: Magical Feathers and Metaphors
Part One: Magical Feathers and Metaphors![](1-FFVIII_0002.jpg)
This is the title screen. Let's start a new game.
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Ah, some nice peaceful waves on a sandy beach. It's good times ahead, I can tell.
While we enjoy our beach vacation, here's some nice music:
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I don't like it when the sea talks to me.
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It's weird, that's why.
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Hey, fuck off, desert. Don't get passive aggressive with me.
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The intro for this game is kind of...unfocussed.
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Good question.
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Good answer.
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Suddenly, there are some flower petals blowing around.
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These flower petals are not afraid to commit.
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The girl in blue grabs one of the petals...
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...And now it's a feather! This is how they fill pillows.
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She watches it blow away again, because of metaphors. I mean, I think it's metaphors.
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Then suddenly, it's dark!
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The feather rises into the sky, and there's a flash of lightning.
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Now the feather is a gun-sword!
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You're gonna chip it like that.
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This is a pendant. I'm here to tell you what things are, and I love my job.
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You can tell by the keychain on the end that the gunblade belongs to the same man as the pendant.
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Who is in the middle of fighting someone, but forgot to bring his sword and had to get it delivered by magic feather. Kids these days are never prepared.
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The feather magic has not entirely worn off.
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Oh, we're back with the magic girl.
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Or, uh, not. Who's this? One day you'll know.
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Game, come on, pick one person and stick with it.
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The girl in blue is awfully worried about the older woman walking through a wall. I mean, I would be, too, but hey.
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Alright, back to fighting.
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Come on, guys, you're gonna chip the blades. You know better than that.
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The blonde guy takes a second to look smug, and you can see that his gunblade is built on a Beretta.
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Then it's back to the fencing match.
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Cross cut to some place we don't know, with Mr. Smug and the wall-walker.
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Now it's back to fighting.
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"Oh, no, go back! That one looked good!"
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"Yeah, that's good! Stay here!"
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Seeing the other guy rushing him, Mr. Smug charges up his fireball spell.
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It doesn't go well for feather-sword over here.
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When I first played this game, I was surprised that the intro contained blood. Now, I know that it's just not common for Final Fantasy games.
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Blondie is either very good at the sword thing or very terrible to have left just that wound.
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You can tell this is a serious attack because the feathers are black this time.
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We cut to the girl in blue, running out of the cloud of feathers.
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As bird-blade looks on longingly.
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And she falls towards him, like they're about to embrace.
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Next time: we actually start the game!