Part 15: Part Fifteen: Squall's Sexy DreamPart Fifteen: Squall's Sexy Dream
Last time, we got on a train and then everyone blacked out.
Well, whatever's going on, we're still in control.
Our party has changed, though.
Well, half changed. The party members are different, but the junctions and levels are the same.
We seem to be in a forest of some sort.
And, when we get into a fight, we get some new music:
"The Man with the Machine Gun," huh?
Must be named after that guy in the middle, Laguna. The one with the machine gun.
While we're running around, we get incidental dialogue from the new party, but we also get those other boxes. Looks like someone else is confused, too.
Timber Army? Didn't Timber's army get defeated by Galbadia years ago?
Actually, you know, the uniforms these guys are wearing look a lot like Galbadian uniforms.
: Well, you see... It's just that, uhh...
: Don't tell me we're lost again.
: Anyway, we're goin' home. Deling City, here we come!
Well, that's interesting.
On the next screen, you can find a Water draw point.
Too bad we're all full up.
Someone kindly left their car here for us to take.
Oh well, it's probably our guys' car and they just got out to eat lunch or something.
We do not have to do any driving on the world map at this point, the game just skips straight to point B.
: Chill man, it's cool.
I feel like maybe Laguna isn't the most professional, responsible guy in the world.
: We're not just here for the booze, are we? We've got a war to fight.
: So we'll get smashed, and then we'll CHAAARGE!
: Kiros, Ward... You two seem to misunderstand. I just want to have a friendly drink with you two.
Well, it's better than getting killed, so I say go for it.
This dialogue changes if you have read the issue of Timber Maniacs in the Balamb Hotel:
: Whatever! Like you drink... We already know you're not in it for the drinking. Just admit it already!
: Yeah, just drink some juice like a weenie. And then gawk at the piano lady.
: DON'T CALL HER THE 'PIANO LADY'! That's it, forget it! I'm not going!
: We know you will...
These people showed up to see Laguna's really good parking job.
Hey, a G-Soldier who's not trying to kill us. That's a nice change of pace.
Anyway, let's get to the bar.
I like the towns in this game. They're all pretty nice.
This is not the way to the bar.
This seems more promising. We're also definitely in Galbadia now.
Sounds like Laguna's got a crush.
If you were wondering, you can stay at the inn here.
And I mean, why not do that?
Other than the fact that there's no reason to do it.
But we like to have fun here, right? Anyway, let's go grab that drink.
This place looks pretty fancy.
Laguna and the boys probably have a lot of friendly drinks.
One of these options is not like the others. Let's check that one out.
Laguna is just fuckin' baffled by the idea of sitting down at a table.
: What's wrong?
: I...I dunno.
You can choose that same again, with the option changing from "Huh? Excuse me?" to "What is this?". If you do, you get this exchange:
: What's wrong?
: Ahh... I'm not quite sure.
: Wait a second... Is your head buzzing...?
Are you guys already drunk?
: W-What... You, too?
: Yeah, ever since we were in Timber.
: Me, too...
: Hey, we're just tired, that's all. We'll be fine after a drink or two, or three...
Yes, drinking has never made anyone more disoriented.
If you choose the option "What is this?" again, you get this:
: Just shut up, PU-LEASE!!!
Damn Laguna, she's just a waitress. This actually makes the waitress run away from you, but if you talk to her again, she just acts like nothing happened. What a pro.
Anyway, let's just walk it off.
You have a good one, dude.
This guy will not control Laguna, who is a free spirit.
Now that we've got our heads in order, let's sit down and get wasted.
The questions are back, looks like.
Some of the people asking are more relaxed than others.
No time to wonder that right now, there's drinking to do.
: We're goin' all out tonight, right boys!?
Laguna is cool.
: The usual!
: Me, too.
: Keep 'em coming!
I used to go to a bar with a friend pretty regularly, and the first time the waitress remembered our orders he was very impressed.
Oh right, we're here to hit on the pianist. She's just doing her job, man.
While she's doing her job, by the way, this is the song she plays:
: You goin' for it tonight?
: Yeah, go for it!
Kiros and Ward are bad influences.
: What-ever, man! Can't you see she's working?
Laguna is above peer pressure.
: Don't go back on your word. C'mon, go wave to her.
: Give me a break...
: So you say, but we know you'll do it.
Those guys are bein' jerks, so let's go talk to some other guys.
Newly Promoted: Oh baby! This is turning out to be a lovely night!
We cannot speak to the bartender/waitress. This is bullshit. This game is bullshit.
I'm leaving this bullshit game.
Let's go prove them right, I suppose.
When you go to the piano, Laguna immediately walks away a bit.
The person dreaming is now just making fun of Laguna directly.
: (My leg's cramping up...!)
Damn, what a smooth operator.
You can barely see it in the background, but Kiros and Ward laugh at Laguna while he walks in circles to work the cramp out.
We're back in control at this point. This guy seems like he's a little too into Julia.
: Mission successful!
At least our friends are impressed.
: Here, have a seat.
: Yeah, but you cut a pretty pitiful figure up there. I'd say you're about a -3 on the manliness scale.
: Say what you want! (sigh...) Julia sure is pretty...
Realising that Laguna's about to get misty, Kiros and Ward decide to ditch him.
What good friends.
At least we're not paying for our drinks, I guess.
Oh, that's probably why they left.
Julia: May I?
Laguna is probably pretty surprised with how she sneaked up on him.
: N-N-N-Not at all. P-Please, s-sit down.
Laguna Loire is 27 years old.
Laguna's such a dweeb that he can't even look at Julia.
Julia: How's your leg?
: L-Leg? Oh, this!? Y-Yeah, it's fine. Happens all the time when I get nervous.(cough)
Julia: Were you nervous?
: Oh, yeah. I'm still kinda...
Julia: You can relax. You don't have to be nervous around me.
: Oh, sorry.
Julia is the one making all the moves here.
Yes, Laguna, just yell it for everyone to hear.
Look, lady, this is an important scene, so you can just stop staring at the camera.
Everyone is very interested in this conversation. What a bunch of creeps.
Julia: You don't want to?
: Of course I do!
Julia: Then I'll go ahead and wait for you. Ask for my room at the front desk, ok?
I think the juxtaposition of Laguna's thoughts and the commentary is very good.
Her problem of wanting to bang you?
Before we meet Julia, let's tell this guy to go fuck himself.
Newly Promoted: Why!? Why must it always be like this!?(hic) And why...must it be on this day of all days...!?
Go home, buddy. You'll feel better in the morning.
: No worries, man! That's like, my specialty!
: One wouldn't say you converse, though... All you do is yap-yap-yap and never listen.
The familiarity between Laguna, Kiros, and Ward is a great contrast to our party, who all just met and got put on the same mission. These guys are real friends.
Anyway, let's go get laid.
It is very important that you save before going to talk to Julia.
Receptionist: Ah, Mr. Laguna Loire? I've been expecting you. Let me show you to Ms. Julia's room.
Julia has a last name, and it is not Julia.
There's a new song while Julia and Laguna chat here:
Julia: Have a seat.
Laguna's not very confident, and I don't think he knows Julia is laughing at him.
At this point, the player has control of Laguna again.
So I did the most tonally appropriate thing possible and renamed a GF.
I can't figure out where to sit. Let's ask Julia for advice.
: No, it's not that. It's just that I'm a big fan of yours, so I'm really kinda nervous, y'know?
Julia: So that's why you come to hear me play so often.
Laguna Loire: cool under pressure.
Julia: You were always smiling while listening, right?
That's probably because he was drunk.
I...don't think anyone expected you to eat his eyes. That would be fucked up.
You know, I don't think we ever got our drinks at the bar.
I think it's been established that this is a dream, Laguna.
And then fade to black.
Laguna, did you talk about the army during that fade to black?
: And it's fun, 'cause Kiros and Ward are always with me. Hey, we should all go out drinkin' sometime! Whaddaya say? And, uh... What was I talkin' about? Oh yeah, so I want to quit the army and become a journalist! So I can tell people 'bout all the things I've seen on my travels.
Way to stick to your plan of listening to Julia instead of yammering on and on, champ.
We got the cool version where Laguna talks about how he's a "published author".
: Yeah, that was way cool...
Julia: I'm happy for you.
: Oh yeah, and then...
Julia hasn't been listening since she decided to get wine.
There's another version of the scene where Laguna gets drunk from wine and falls asleep, again triggered by reading the issue of Timber Maniacs in the Balamb Hotel:
What a lightweight baby.
Julia: You look adorable when you're asleep.
: Argh... How'd I fall asleep?
In this version, Julia is sitting in the chair instead of on the bed.
At this point, the scenes join back up.
Faced with the prospect of more talking, Julia decides to jump out the window.
Julia: I...I want to sing. Not just play the piano, but sing, too.
: Oh, I'd really love to hear it.
Julia: But I can't. I'm no good at writing lyrics...
: Hmm... That must be tough.
"It's not tough for me, Laguna. I love to write. Let me tell you about writing."
Julia: But, thanks to you, I think I can come up with something.
Laguna, you're not even looking at her. Do you know how rude that is?
Julia: Yes... The many faces you've shown me. Times when you were hurt, worried... Or felt pain deep inside you... Your smile, your face, your eyes...
The song is called "The Man Who Talked for Like Three Hours".
YES WE GET IT THIS IS A DREAM. THE WHOLE SEQUENCE WITH LAGUNA IS A DREAM.
Julia do not start.
Well, at least we got to talk a lot.
I'm sure this will work out just fine. Happy ending for sure.
Oh, we're back to these guys. I thought they'd all died. Well, good news, I guess!