Part 34: Part Thirty-Four: Zell Saves the Day
Part Thirty-Four: Zell Saves the Day![](1-FFVIII_07344.jpg)
Back in the cell, Selphie is drawing Cure off Zell. I don't even know if Zell has Cure.
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It's not going so well, though.
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Is magic use a big problem in prisons? Seems like it wouldn't really be a widespread criminal tool.
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Oh, here's a, uh, a thing. With dinner.
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Speaking of not going well.
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Oh hey, this idiot is back.
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In case you'd forgotten, he's mean.
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Only one of these can reasonably be called "good manners".
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I think Zell could take Mean Guy.
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Selphie, Zell, and Quistis together could definitely take him.
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This match goes better for Zell than the last one.
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Yeah, see ya round, asshole.
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While she works on that, let's check in with Squall.
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Because they get paid to?
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Edea is taking the whole "assassination attempt" pretty personally.
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Very personally.
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Squall would probably be yelling this out loud if he hadn't just been tortured.
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That seems a bit disproportionate, but what do I know?
(This shot included so you can see Seifer poking Squall in the dick with his gunblade.)
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See, this is why people don't like sorceresses.
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Oh, I'm sure it'll be a riot.
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Warden: Don't mess with me! Edea says you know something! Now spit it out!
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That's what they say.
Warden: Hm? Yeah, so!?
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Squall doesn't know anything, but if you pay attention to a lot of small things in the dialogue, the player can get a sense that something weird is going on. Regardless, though, it works to set up Edea as a villain; having Seifer do the torturing shows that she's not the type to dirty her own hands, and having missiles launched at Garden shows she's not the type to take half-measures.
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Anyway, back to the task at hand.
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Let's start out this torture sequence by lying to the guy. Classic torture strategy.
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Warden: What's that?
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Warden: What did you say?
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This is maybe not the winningest lie he could have come up with.
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You're not convincing anyone, buddy.
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Warden: What then? SeeD wants to bring love and peace to the world...?
I'm sure Selphie would corroborate that if you asked her.
Warden: Ha haha hah! Don't make me laugh! You can't fool me!
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Warden: ...What?
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This one's not canon.
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A real SeeD would just take the torture.
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The setup is the same.
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Warden: What did you say?
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Squall, unwilling to just be left to die, decides to hurry it along.
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Turns out insulting the torturer gets you more tortured. Who knew?
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At least I don't have to mash on triangle.
Warden: Tch! Completely knocked out cold. Hey! You 2 Moombas! Watch him!
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That's enough of Squall, I guess.
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Now we get to walk around our cell. This bit of the game isn't really gameplay-heavy.
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Selphie's not optimistic about their prospects.
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Now I'm not optimistic about their prospects.
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We cannot talk to or collide with the moomba.
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Selphie's a fun character. By the way, this line doesn't show up unless you stop the Mean Guy from beating up the moomba.
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The moomba is not on board with Selphie's plan.
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Too bad they take your weapons away in jail.
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Fun fact: I've always parsed that line as "get them back somehow" and just now noticed the actual word order.
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Pictured: Zell remembering that he knows how to punch.
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Finally, Zell is going to save the day.
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Okay, how are you gonna get out of the cell?
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Mean Guy: What's the problem?
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I imagine this line as just being completely incredulous. This is the most basic ploy there is.
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He comes in anyway.
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And Zell drops him in one punch.
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See ya, Zell.
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The moomba just wants to get away from Selphie.
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And we're off, for the first real gameplay section since Winhill!
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I think I gave every GF to Zell. I definitely loaded him up for Strength.
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Then I went the wrong way.
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This is where I should be.
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My dude, should you really be playing with that just in the middle of the floor?
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Jesus Christ, he impaled the other guy! This is why you never wave your gunblade around in the hallway!
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Safety Video Victim: Is this what they call a gunblade?
Safety Video Star: Check these out, a whip, nunchaku...
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Why didn't they take Zell's gloves away?
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So, in order to get our shit back, we have to beat up two guards.
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Guards are pretty much identical to G-Soldiers, except they have 1 more point in Speed.
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He wouldn't be able to survive that hit until level 61.
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Probably the biggest difference between Guards and G-Soldiers is that Guards have status magic to draw instead of basic elemental spells.
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Blind is semi-useful, especially if you like Renzokuken.
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Congratulations, Zell and Moomba.