Part 38: Part Thirty-Eight: Selphie Goes to WarPart Thirty-Eight: Selphie Goes to War
Now that Squall &al. are on their way back to Garden, we're going to be Selphie for a while.
I tend to get lost looking for the Missile Base. I am not the type of person who learns game maps by heart.
There it is.
If the lore that SeeDs get paid monthly is true, this game takes place over a pretty long time.
Here we are, at the scenic Galbadia Missile Base.
Let's just walk in.
But first, let's remember to swap our junctions over from the other party.
Here's a neat touch: Selphie has different idle animations from Squall's.
: I just wanna take a peek. Pretty pleeeaase!?
Security Guard: No! This isn't some kinda club you can sweet talk your way in to. Besides, you're just a kid. I prefer someone more mature.
Now, let's do this right.
By driving directly into a wall.
It let me in anyway.
The security check isn't really rigorous.
: (Really? Phew...)
And we're in!
Sounds like we don't have much time.
At least there were enough for everyone. Nobody has to pretend to be a prisoner today.
: When the hell is launch time!?
: It doesn't matter! We have to stop the missiles! That's all there is to it, right!? If there's a door, we go in! If there's anything we can break, we break! And in the end, we blow this place to smithereens!
Selphie is not a "plans" person.
: Hey Selphie, I like your attitude. Let's do it up!
Let's blow up this fuckin' base! Yeah!
Note: we are now locked in.
It didn't come across in the screenshots, but the emulator hates this screen and freaks the fuck out when you're on it.
In we go!
And now that we're inside, let's listen to the Missile Base theme, "The Spy":
First thing we find on the inside: two locked doors.
This isn't an auspicious start.
: Selphie, stop yelling!
: So like... I found this in the car. Give it a try.
We got lucky on this one.
The door on the right still doesn't open.
So let's go left.
And we're finally in the base proper.
The central conceit of the missile base mission is that we're sneaking in.
So let's not draw attention to ourselves, eh?
If you choose that option, you actually do walk instead of run.
Maybe we played it too cool.
: (Yikes! Do we look THAT suspicious!?)
Guard: Hah! Walking in a single file... ...Your parents must have raised you well. That's very good manners! Always be thankful to your parents for bringing you up!
Oh, this guy's just bein' weird.
: Yes, sir...
Anyway, moving on. Over here, we can see some big machine under a tarp in the background.
And that screen leads to this one.
Sounds like a place where we want to be.
There also aren't a lot of other options right now. Let's check out that launcher room.
Not much going on, honestly.
Let's check this place out.
Blind is still a great spell for boosting crisis level. If you're going to limit spam and you're using Squall or one of the women, you want Blind on at all times.
I wonder what these guys are up to.
Honestly, I think they're just taking a break over here.
These guys probably aren't the best soldiers.
Yeah, no problem.
And now it's just back over to this guy.
Maintenance Soldier: Well, what is it?
Another part of not getting caught is that we have to remember the message.
: It's about inspecting the circuit room. The maintenance team said they were too busy, so that you should go on ahead.
Maintenance Soldier: Oh, ok. But I'm still not done here, you know... Hmmm... Could you tell them I can't go just yet? Thanks, I appreciate it.
Sure, no problem.
Now it's back over here.
Well, I wouldn't want to interrupt your important work...
I am actually like 99% sure this guy is just taking a break.
The Galbadians are pretty fun when we're not trying to kill each other.
What's the worst that could happen?
And that's how the saboteurs got access to the circuit room.
: Yes, sir! (......Whoo-hoo! Blow the place to smithereens!)
Now we have to talk to the weird guy who complimented our posture earlier.
Guard: Oh, really? Then I guess my shift is over... I'm gonna call in my relief. Go ahead with the inspection.
Yeah, man, no problem.
One example of a thing we can inspect is this Blizzara draw point.
We can also inspect this control panel.
: I'm not sure what to do so, I'll just press whatever!
There we go.
Let's just beat the shit out of the control panel.
A few seconds of pounding later...
Good sabotage, team.
: We should get the hell out. Now...
She's just so excited to destroy property.
Figures that these guys would be here. Doing their jobs and shit.
We're not looking to get caught, so let's lie our way out of this.
This seems like a decent lie to tell in the situation.
: We were just about to go call on you!
Maintenance Guard: Alright, then. Let us take care of it!
They go in, and the SeeDs follow.
As usual, SeeDs vs. Galbadians doesn't end well for the Galbadians.
: (...Geez...Selphie can be a little outta control at times...)
Irvine is just now figuring this out.
Well, our sabotage has at least slowed them down.
And now this area is unguarded.
The camera angle by the door has also changed.
Let's just play it cool.
See? He doesn't know everyone on the base, he doesn't give a shit.
Don't wanna blow our cover, so let's help out.
They're probably writhin' on the ground bleedin' to death and saying something like "oh my god someone get my blood back inside of me."
Uhh, or they're on break.
I'm guessing a machine or something usually does that for them.
Since the power's out, we have to be the machine today.
This isn't hard.
That's what I like to hear.
They really are just handing this one to us.
...I guess that's the idea of sneaking in.
: (Heeey! The control panel!? Now we're talkin'!)
The control panel is just outside.
Zell's into it.
: (Yeah, bust it up real good! But...)
Selphie is a property destruction pro, and she knows when to hold back.
: So, should we hold back a little and just mess around with it a bit?
: Tch...! Yeah, I guess...
Cooler heads prevail, and we just use the console like normal. That's probably also the first time anyone's ever implied Selphie has a cool head.
So here we are, looking at the missile launch UI.
Here are our options. Let's check them out.
Equipment isn't very interesting, unless you were concerned about the official designations of the missiles and launchers. If you were, you're weird.
: This is the kind where you set the coordinates... Maybe if we set the error ratio all the way up, it'll lower the chance of a direct hit?
Come on, Zell, what are the odds of a direct hit? Let's check the simulation to see.
There's the whole world. We're in the yellow box to the west, Balamb is in the central yellow box.
It shows the missiles' path across the ocean...
...Then it zooms in to show that a direct hit is pretty likely. Things aren't looking great for the Garden.
Before we mess with the error ratio, let's just try to set the target. Maybe we can launch the missiles into space or something.
Or maybe we can just piss up a rope.
Do what you can, I guess.
The idea of an error ratio setting even being on this console is one of the various criticised elements of the game. It's kind of bizarre, and I'm sure there was some thought process behind it being there, but I don't know what it was. I'm not a missile expert. Anyway, it's there, and we set it all the way up.
Editor's Note: As Gnoman pointed out in the thread, the "error ratio" seems to actually refer to how wide an area the missiles will hit, and not some chance of missing completely. So, you would want a high error ratio for a larger target (like Dollet) and a low one for a small target (like Garden).
As with any computer system, you have to confirm the change before it's made.
And then you get to watch these bars fill up. It's great.
Going back to the simulation, we now have a much better chance of the Garden not being destroyed.
There's only one place left we haven't been.
Let's check it out.
Too late to get suspicious now, buddy!
I guess this guy's the boss.
We did what we could, but we still couldn't stop the launch. It's up to Squall to get everyone out of Garden now.
Good luck, Squall.
Officer: What are you doing in here?
: We've come to report on the missile coordinates!
Looks like we've been found out.
Officer: No use hiding it now! That salute you just did was completely wrong.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think that Galbadians and SeeDs actually do use different salutes.
: (Yikes...! Well, at least we made it this far. It's about time we rumbled!)
This is the furthest you can get without being caught. If you manage it, you get a free SeeD rank.
: Hooooo, finally! This military uniform is itchy, and it stinks!
Time to throw down with some Galbadians.
These are the Missile Base variants of the G-Soldier and Elite Soldier. They're a lot better than their regular counterparts, but they're still pretty shit.
I think the commander lasted one round.
Then I decided to just use Limits for the rest of the thing.
This isn't a difficult fight.
It did give me a chance to show off Irvine's Limit, though.
It's called Shot. You choose a type of ammo, then the game gives you a timer (which gets longer as Irvine's Crisis Level rises) and you just go nuts on the trigger. Each ammo works a little differently, and all that changes is a visual effect, so I'll just explain them here:
Normal Ammo (Normal Shot) is the basic thing, it hits one target with a power of 16 (so 80% of a regular attack). This is sold in stores, or you can make it from Screws.
Shotgun Ammo (Scatter Shot) hits all enemies, but with only 14 power. Like Normal Ammo, you can buy this anywhere, and it's the only ammo you can get as a drop (from the Missile Base personnel and from the common Elite Soldiers).
Dark Ammo (Dark Shot) hits one enemy with 14 power and isn't as quick, but has a chance of inflicting a status effect (Poison, Blind, Silence, Sleep, or Slow). Dark Ammo is refined from Poison Powder, Venom Fangs, and Abaddon cards.
Fire Ammo (Flame Shot) hits all enemies for Fire-type damage with 40 power. It's made from Bomb Fragments, Fuel, Red Fangs, or Oilboyle cards.
Demolition Ammo (Canister Shot) hits one enemy with 60 power, but slowly. Cactus Thorns, Missiles, Running Fires, and Trauma cards can all be refined into Demolition Ammo.
Fast Ammo (Quick Shot) hits one enemy with just 7 power, but comes out very quickly. It comes from refining Normal or Shotgun Ammo, interestingly enough. GIM47N cards can also be refined into Fast Ammo.
AP Ammo (Armor Shot) hits one enemy with an 80-power attack that ignores Vit - again, though, you pay in speed. It's fairly rare, too, only being made from Chef's Knives and Sharp Spikes.
Pulse Ammo (Hyper Shot) hits one enemy with 120 power, and it's very slow in doing it. The most powerful, but also the rarest, since you can only get it by refining some very rare items: Laser Cannons, Energy Crystals, and Power Generators.
The limiting factor in using Shot is what ammo you have on hand - since most of it needs to be refined or purchased, it's easy to either get caught with none on hand or to just run out. If you keep the right ammo stocked up, though, Shot can be one of the more powerful Limit moves in the game, alongside Squall's and Zell's.
Even the game doesn't consider this a boss fight, so you get a bunch of EXP for it.
And some Potions.
This is not a fixed reward.
: We should be able to stop the missile launch from here.
: So, like...let's just split up and start lookin'.
One last chance to stop the launch! Let's get lookin'!
: ........................ There! I'm done!
Let's get lookin' again!
: .........I don't think it's this one.
: .........I don't think it's this one.
The trick with the self-destruct is that it's in the next room.
: Hmmm... Let's see here...
Just like with the Fire Cavern at the start of the game, we have to choose a time.
: Hmmm... Let's see here...
We're gonna go for it. 10 minutes to escape.
And now all we have to do is book it out of here.
...That's what I said.
Since we set the timer to 10 minutes, we can just take the door here for the easy way out. If you choose
As soon as we're out, there's a small scene.
This guy drags himself over to the console and presses some buttons.
He seems pretty pleased with himself.
Then he dies on the console and it's back to the party.
When I said we got the easy way out, I meant it. That door in the command room takes you straight to the exit.
Selphie, we don't have time to worry about noises right now.
This wasn't a very hectic escape sequence.
Every Galbadian in the place is currently running for their lives.
Let's join them.
As we pass the launch area...
I hope Squall managed to get everyone out.
Everyone seems a bit disheartened by this outcome.
Well, let's go. This place is still gonna explode.
Some people really hold grudges.
Captain: It would be inexcusable to Sorceress Edea! I don't want to suffer her wrath!
Then in a way you're lucky, because you're about to die.
You heard the man.
It's time for another boss.
This is BGH251F2. Its features include:
Freaking out its crew.
Going out of control.
And blowing the fuck up.
Other features include: vomiting up flaming men after exploding.
Selphie was knocked out this entire fight. I revived her just to clown on these losers.
I think this is the only time the game's actually differentiated between speaking Galbadian soldiers with numbers.
Good luck, pal.
These aren't even the improved Base Soldiers, they're just the shitty regular model.
Meteor, unsurprisingly, causes meteors to fall out of the sky and fuck your enemies up. It hits 10 times, though each single hit isn't that powerful (just slightly better than first-tier spells). It's still more than enough for these jokers, and I did it three times.
Selphie looks so triumphant in this shot.
This is the only interesting loot from the G-Tank.
I forgot to assign abilities to learn again.
At this point, the timer is gone.
Unfortunately, we're also trapped.
Things are lookin' bad.
: (Squall will take care of the rest, right? I wonder if he'll organize the Garden Festival? Nah, can't count on Squall for that... Sigh...)
: Living a life full of battles... I guess you could say I was prepared... But when I think this is really it...
This is a bummer.
: (...Squall chose us because he believed in us. I'm sure of it! We can do it. That's what he thought when he made this team. Isn't that right, Squall?)