The Let's Play Archive

Final Fantasy X

by The Dark Id

Part 13: Episode X: Show-off My Moves

Sadly, Tidus drowned following his faithful flushing down the oceanic toilet by Sin. The rest of the game will feature Rikku and her scurvy crew manhandling foreigners and expl—

Or Tidus could be fine and we will continue following his story. If you insist, game. In this game being knocked unconscious, while submerged in water seems less of a way to choke to death from having your lungs filled with water and more the equivalent of waking up in a ditch after a wild night of partying.

"It's just morning wood, it doesn't mean anything. Don't have your friends cut off my ju--! Ergh... Huh...?"

Oh hey. The sun actually does occasionally shine in Final Fantasy X. Nice to see the blue sky for a change.

Also, falling blitzballs aimed straight for Tidus' head. That is always a pleasant sight as well.

Tidus is beaned with a blitzball...

Tidus looks around with a bit of groggy confused anger for a moment before something far more important catches his eyes.

The one thing Tidus is remotely knowledgeable about and boy is he happy to see it. Fun fact: an early draft of the game had Tidus as a plumber. That would have been... something... Not sure if it would have been a good something, but...

New Music: Blitzball Gamblers
(Recommended Listening!)

A fellow with a Jamaican accent calls to Tidus from the beach. Which is weird because there... actually is an island setting where most residents share the same accent. Yes, having a consistent accent hailing from a certain geographical region is a rarity in RPG land. And even this game. See: The Al Bhed having Slavic, American, and Yosemite Sam Southern in one case accents.

Tidus decides to greet this new group of folks by shitting all over gravity via a twenty foot leaping back flip kick by means of swimming upwards from about five feet of water.

He's got, he's got it...

Right on the money and...

...actually no, it nearly takes one of the guys' head off. The fellow managed to dodge it at the last minute.

However, the blitzball is still launched deep into the forest and will take all afternoon to find now. Way to be a dick right off the bat, Tidus.




And I take that statement back. Tidus was clearly in the right when he tried to kick a ball straight into the face of someone who looks like THIS. Christ, where's that banner from back in Dirge of Cerberus...?

There we go.

We're now expected to swim to the shore and greet these new chucklefucks. But...

...let's take a quick detour to the east. There's small little lonely strip of beach here with a solitary treasure chest.

This chest contains the Moon Crest. What is a Moon Crest? I'll tell you in fifty hours. No really. It'll be useful in like fifty hours. Right now, it's just a crest shaped like a moon that's good for nothing.

Tidus doubles back and swims to the beach like he's supposed to do...

All of the uniformly ridiculously dressed folks on the beach come to welcome their new silly outfit brethren.

"Kinda got swept into a whirlpool after being captured by foreign wreck salvagers after almost being killed by a monster with scissor hands after almost getting eaten by a giant fish after I got sucked up into a big... ergh... Nevermind..."
"You wanna... try that move... one my time..."
"Just not at my head, brudda. Too easy a target, I know."

"There was still blitzball around. And people that spoke my language. Which meant I didn't have to go train for another lame trade or learn anything new if I was stuck here. SUCH a relief."

Tidus becomes one with the blitzball.

And launches the team's back-up ball deep into the middle of the monster-filled ocean.

"...That was our last ball..."
"Someone is gonna have to go out there and get it..."
"My brother swam out that far once and then Sin attacked the island..."
"I didn't know ya had a brudda."

"Yup. Name's Tidus. You might have heard of me. Top dog of the whole league. Wiped the floor with the Mushers in the play-offs and was about to do the same with the Duggles at the finals. Yeah. I'm kind of a big deal. Any of you got a pen? I'm feeling generous for some autogr...aphs... Err..."

*grumble grumble*
*murmur murmur*
*rabble rabble*

"What team you say again...?"
"Uh, I meant... Forget that. I got too, uh... close to Sin and my head's all foggy-like."
"You know the whole... toxin thing it umm... sprays? Got a WHOLE mess of that sprayed all over me!"
"I never heard of Sin spraying no toxins on people... I thought it just leaked them in the water."
"Y-yeah! That's what I meant. It all happened so fast that... yeah!”

"So I don't know where this place is. Or even where I came from."
"Sin's toxin got to you. But, you're still alive. Praise be to Yevon!"

Everyone does the same little motion those fanboy kids did before the game back in Zanarkand. Hmm...

"Go on, get. You ain't got a high quality model then you ain't got no business 'round here, ya?"

So this is Wakka. If you cannot guess by the fact his face has twice the polygons of the rest of his compatriots or the fact that he was chilling around the prologue campfire, he may be a future party member.

*stomach rumbles*
"What? You hungry?"
"Yeah. Starved. I ain't eaten since dinner."
"But it's only 'bout ten in the afternoon."
"Yeah. It's time for brunch. I missed breakfast. It's been a hard few days..."

"Okay! Back to the village. I'll get you somethin'!"

We're now supposed to follow after Wakka. We could take a minute to meet the rest of the Besaid Extinct Bovines but, well...

To summarize: It's a bunch of statements about how they all pretty much completely suck ass at Blitzball while balls smack them in the face and they trip over their own two feet. Perhaps practicing the underwater sport in the... ya know... water... might help a bit. But I'm no expert.

Tidus moseys on over to Wakka...

"So it's just a big pile of rubble now, isn't it?"
"Long time ago, there were a whole lot of cities in Spira. Big cities with machina--machines--to run 'em.”
”What’s a ‘Spira’?”
“...The planet?”
“Oh... right... Sin toxins and all. And a machina is a certain type of machine or...?”
“A machina is a machine.”
“So why call it a machina and not a machine? What’s the point of changing one letter?”
*shrug* “I don’t come up with naming syntax, ya know? Anyway...”

“People played all day and let the machine do the work. And then, well, take a look.”

Wakka motions behind himself...

New Music: Wandering Flame
(Recommended Listening!)

“And Zanarkand along with 'em. Yeah, that was about a thousand years ago, just like you said. If you ask me, Sin's our punishment for letting things get out of hand. What gets me, we gotta suffer, 'cause of what some goofballs did way back when!”

“It's just that, it's hard to keep at it sometimes, you know?"

“Wakka and Rikku couldn't both be lying. Why would they?”

Wakka decides it’s an appropriate time to laugh about a giant monster from the sea’s global genocide. Wakka tends to laugh at inappropriate times. Wakka is kind of a weirdo.

The ginger hairstyling disaster gets all buddy-buddy with Tidus...

“Hey, I'm not saying the team never existed, ya? But you gotta figure a team livin' in luxury like that'd be pretty soft, eh?"
”Pfft! YOU'RE pretty soft!”
“Ahahaha. You crack me up.”

Wakka walks off...

“But at that time, all I could think about was... everything that happened to me -- all of this -- started with Sin.”

“For now, I'd just live life until that time came. No more worrying about where, or when, I was. Sure it was hard not to think of home.”
”The fame, easy money, swank home, droves of fans, women ready to drop their panties as soon as I spun a blitzball on my finger...” *sigh*
“But I started to feel better already.”


Video: Episode 10 Highlight Reel
(Recommend viewing just to hear Jamaican Bender Wakka's accent.)

Wakka Portrait - It may be hard to swallow, but this is NOT the stupidest haircut in the game...