Part 65: Episode LVII: Film My Journey
Music: Enemy Attack
Welp, Auron’s grievous disregard for level geometry has sparked the ire of the Filler Boss Gods and now look where we are: another gimmick boss battle. Luckily, this is perhaps the easiest boss in the game. Especially of the gimmicky variety. Meet the Spherimorph, Ozma’s significantly less successful kid brother.
Spherimorph, as the name rather bluntly suggests, is a big ol’ sphere that can morph. Strangely into non-sphere objects like a big water mallet to crush our team for middling physical damage. It can also flatten itself across the battlefield to reduce the party’s HP by half but that’s only if we dick around for far too long. I mentioned before Spherimorph is a gimmick boss battle… again… And it is a VERY, VERY easy gimmick to exploit the hell out of in short order.
Spherimorph’s primary gimmick is that whenever it is attacked, it will shift its elemental affinity between Lightning, Water, Ice, and Fire. The shift in affinity is randomly decided with no visual cue immediately evident of what element the blob is now rollin’ with at the moment and Sensors/Scan are disabled for this fight. So it’s a guessing game. Unless…
…you bop the thing on the head with any basic physical attack. Even Yuna’s sad little single HP damage dealing staff bonking will do.
When attacked the Spherimorph (my god that is a retarded sounding name) will immediately retaliate… with its current elemental affinity. Whoops… that’s kind of a flaw in its little elemental shifting strategy here, eh? You see the whole Elemental Shift makes it absorb its current alignment…
But take double-damage against the opposite element. Which means Lulu is basically soloing yet another fight while everyone else just tags in on the AP gravy train poking it for status updates while she deals 2500+ HP of damage each turn.
Rikku could contribute with some Use or Mix abilities if you’re feeling saucy. But having Tidus just Haste Lulu and this fight lasts all of about three minutes.
And that was our pointless boss battle of the day knocked out of the park.
Well pointless in the sense that there was no reason to have bothered with a boss battle there. Defeating Spherimorph does actually have a rather significant unlock to the game’s world…
I like where this is going already… :getin:
Oh yeah… pretty much a freebie boat load of AP and cash for our troubles too. That’s nice, I suppose. But tell me more about spheres involving everyone’s favorite alcoholic deadbeat jock dad, Final Fantasy X.
<…Who the flip is Jecht?!>
”Play it back."
*nods and fiddles with Jecht Sphere*
“…Yeah okay. I have *no* idea how to work this doohickey…”
New Music: Jecht’s Theme (Recommended Listening!)
"What are you taking?"
“We'll be seeing a lot of neat things, right? So I thought I'd record it all in this. To show to my wife and kid, you know."
"This is no pleasure cruise!"
”Where did you even get that thing?”
“Walked into a shop and bought it.”
“…How do you even have money?”
“Man I never leave the house without some a few thousand Gil for drinks and the occasional after game titty-bar venture. You gotta be prepared for these thing, guy.”
“You claim to be from Zanarkand yet still had money stashed away?”
“Take it up with the clerk. Not my fault if my rugged good looks and natural charm made her not realize I wasn’t paying with Spira Funbucks or onions or whatever you weirdos use to pay for things around here.”
“Where're the cheering fans? The crying women?"
”Man I bought a marker specifically to autograph some fangirl titties. What’s the deal? What good is this marker now? I mean am I going to have to draw some stubble on Auron so he doesn’t look like such a baby face? Hmm… maybe this marker *was* a good investment.”
“If I see you with that marker anywhere near me I am taking your arm off.”
“Too many goodbyes -- people think twice about leaving."
"Hmm... If you say so. Well, it better be a lot more colorful when we come back. A parade for Braska, vanquisher of Sin!"
”Fireworks, floats… Markers for all three of us. The works!”
*laughs* "We should go. Day will break soon."
”Hey, hey, hey! The night is still young. We need to start this journey out proper like…”
“Just follow my lead…”
*sighs and nods*
"What's the matter? Afraid I might bite?"
”Hey if it’s about the fleas, I took care of that. Alright?! I thought that was a tiny cabin I could take a quick nap in, not a dog house. How am I supposed to know you have normal dogs in Spira? Last thing I saw resembling a dog was a 300 pound wolf that shot ice out of its forehead. This place is NUTS!”
*nods* "I suppose."
”I mean how often is she gonna see pictures of Lake Macarena?”
“It is err… ‘Macalania’.”
“Is that what sign says?!”
*looks up and squints*
“…I guess I can see it. Feh. Okay you Spira assholes need to take some friggin’ penmanship courses is all I’m saying…”
"Lord Braska... We shouldn't be wasting our time like this!"
"What's the hurry, man?"
*grunts and storms off* "Let me tell you what the hurry is!"
*scratches head* “Though did you take up smoking or something in the last decade, Auron? You got old in 10 years, man.”
"I think there's more."
“If you're sitting there, watching this...it means you're stuck in Spira, like me. You might not know when you'll get back home, but you better not be crying! Although, I guess I'd understand.”
”This place is WEIRD. People’s ghosts turn into monsters… There’s like tree chicks that shoot fire out of their business when pissed… Only ONE blitzball stadium on the whole conti—planet…? I’m not clear on WHAT Spira exactly is but it’s weak. There’s a giant sea monster and… Oh and no pizza! None! I asked to stop for a slice of pizza and they looked at me like I had three heads. The hell?!”
“But you know what? There's a time when you have to stop crying and move on. You'll be fine. Remember, you're my son. And... Well, uh...”
“I believe in you. Be good. Goodbye."
"He was serious.”
"Jecht... He... He was always talking about going home, to Zanarkand. That's why he took all those pictures -- to show them to you when he returned. But as he journeyed with us and came to understand Spira, and Braska's resolve... It happened gradually, but Jecht changed. He decided he would join Braska in his fight against Sin."
"So then, he gave up going home?"
"That was his decision."
“My old man... He knew there was no way home, back to Zanarkand. He wanted to go home, but he knew he couldn't. He couldn't go on until he accepted it. Besides...even if he had found a way back...I don't think he would have left his friends behind before their journey was complete.”
“Maybe I had to start accepting my own fate."
So hey! New gameplay mechanic. Jecht got shitfaced during Braska’s pilgrimage and dropped embarrassing home videos all over Spira. For reasons entirely unexplained, defeating that filler boss has revealed them to the world. And by that I mean they are all… back the way we came. Braska’s pilgrimage went in reverse order of Yuna’s. He started at Bevelle and worked his way back toward Besaid… then had to double-back across the entire continent to make it to Zanarkand. As such, Besaid Village, the S.S. Liki, Luca, the Mi’ihen Highroad, Mushroom Rock Road, the Moonflow, and the Thunder Plains all now contain a hidden Jecht Spheres.
So what do Jecht Spheres do? Well you get more cutscenes of Braska, Auron, and Jecht’s misadventures back in the day. So that is always welcome. But more importantly…
…they unlock new Overdrives for Auron. So that’s neat too. We could turn around and retrace our steps all the way back to Besaid to collect all the Jecht Spheres right now. It is entirely possible to turn around and run all the way back to the Moonflow, hop another Shoopuf to the other shore and hike back to Luca, hop a ferry back to Kilika and from Kilika to Besaid. Totally doable if you’re an early as possible completionist.
But umm… I’m filing that right under the header of “Fuck that noise!” The end game has a function that makes stuff like that FAR quicker and painless and we’ll need to visit almost every location again in the final stretch anyway. So that all can wait for the future. Something to look forward to, ya?
Anyway, one final bit of walking forward to trigger the next cutscene time before our adventure in Macalania Woods concludes.
"Jecht loved you."
"Oh, come on, please!"
"He just didn't know how to express it, he said."
"Enough about my old man, okay?"
"I just thought you should know." *walks off*
I believe that is the closest we are going to see Auron give a fuck anytime soon.
Episode 57 Highlight Reel (Recommended viewing. If just to see Wakka randomly rocking out during Tidus’ narration at the end.)
Spherimorph Concept Art
Braska Official Art – Yeah so… the fuck am I even looking at here…?