Part 69: Episode LX: Reveal My Villainy
Regardless of our traveling companion or whether sick jumps were performed, Tidus finds himself at the far end of Lake Macalania. Really, we only saved about three minutes of walking and a handful of random battles by taking the snowmobiles. Said machina have vanished into the ether, never to be seen again following their cutscene.
Macalania Temple is quite an impressive structure. Mind you, not particularly structurally sound. What with the narrow base and the roof being embedded into an ice cavern apparently kept in check by magical forces. Fantasy architects never think that far ahead. The ice unfreezes a bit and the whole goddamn thing sinks into the bottom of the lake by the time the sequel rolls around. Idiots.
And let's not even get into the fact the only path to the temple is a narrow path made of pure ice. I wonder how many pilgrimages ended with with a summoner slipping on this trail and tumbling 60 feet into ice depths below. That's got to look real bad on a guardian's résumé...
After a bit of a scenic tromp around the not at all secure path, Tidus catches up to the rest of the guardians. Wait... why didn't we just go along with Tromell if we were all going to the exact same place? For that matter, how did Tromell and Yuna get here first on foot? Wakka's bigotry didn't eat up that much time.
The likes of her are not welcome in this hallowed place."
"She is a guardian."
"An Al Bhed, a guardian? Preposterous!"
*walks past scrub monk* "And that's all one needs to be a guardian."
*shakes head* Very well. I will hold you personally responsible if anything happens.
Real lax security in the old Yevon temples, eh? She's one of the heathens forbidden from our temples. Nah, she's one of the good ones. Okay. I guess Spira doesn't have to be that big on security when the biggest threat is ten stories tall. Regardless, it's nice to see Wakka has caught up from his bigotry brooding to rejoin the party.
Tidus enters the temple...
New Music: Temple Band
Welcome to Macalania Temple. There's a number of folks milling about in the foyer. But first, we want want to speak with Tromell. Otherwise the creep will vanish like a ninja if we take more than a few steps.
"Ah, Lady Yuna's guardians! I haven't thanked you for your help earlier.
Yeah, we noticed. You didn't really help with the whole tank thing, either.
It was not my place to interfere.
Thanks to you, I was able to bring Lady Yuna here safely. You have my sincerest gratitude. It... isn't much, but I want you to have this."
*Receives Shell Targe* (Automatically Casts Shell)
"Lord Seymour and Lady Yuna's marriage will help foster goodwill between us and humankind. Lord Jyscal, rest his soul, would be pleased. I'm sure of it."
He always did favor the... coupling... of human and Guado.
"Well... we have much to do before the ceremony. We are all going to be very busy."
That's all well and good. Walking more than a few steps further into the temple will result in another Yevon following muppet getting all up in Tidus' grill.
So Lady Yuna is getting married. You shouldn't kid around about these things."
"Yeah, I guess so."
"You're not happy?"
"Nah, it's complicated. Say... Do you know where Yuna is?"
"She's gone to the Cloister of Trials with Maester Seymour."
Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh. A Cloister of Trials? That's a term I haven't heard in ages and immediately did a gag reflex to hearing it. Maaan.
I suppose we ought to join the rest of the guardians in doing our jo
Music: Hopeless Desire
...What belongings? Yuna left her trunk of traveling gear back on Besaid. And ignoring that fact, what in the hell were you doing rummaging through Yuna's shit to begin with, lady? Someone fire this maid. She's clearly trying to steal loose gil from guests to the temple.
Alas, such questions regarding the staff's conduct will have to wait until later.
Tidus and the gang rush to see what's going on...
Auron hands Tidus the mysterious drama bomb sphere. Tidus proceeds to set it up right at the door threshold so nobody but him can clearly see it and anyone walking in will trip over it. Just a little reminder that Tidus is a nitwit.
Help me, Sir Auron. You're my only hope.
I swear it on my honor as a Guado. Listen to me very carefully, for I shall tell you the truth about my son, Seymour. His mind is closed even to me, a maester of Yevon. But I can feel flames of darkness burning in his heart. He is using Yevon, the Guado, and even the summoners.
And the hypello. You do not even want to know the depravity he has afflicted upon those folk.
I will leave this world soon, killed by my own son. But I do not fault him. Because I was not wise enough, he has suffered, and become twisted. I could not protect him and his mother from the world and its cruelty. I will accept death as punishment for my deeds. But whoever is watching this...
Welp. Seymour Guado is evil. I am beside myself in shock at this horrifying revelation. Mortified.
"Will Yuna be all right?"
*walks out the room* "Hehe. Without us, no."
*run out of the room after Auron*
"Where you goin'?"
I TOLD you guys! I warned you about the Seymour guy! Did nobody hear the music every time he was around?! The guy has been like the most bad news I've seen other than LITERAL monsters!
"But he's a maester!"
"Fine! Stay here if you want!"
"Come on, Wakka. Let's at least hear him out."
*face-palms* "This can't be happening."
Returning to the hallway, the path leading to the Cloister of Trials is now clear. Apparently, Kimahri just piledrived the bald monk guard down the stairs and proceeded onward. He's very cross about the whole affair and is going to tattle to the higher ups in the church. But we're not going to pay that too much mind what with the senior Yevon official getting called out as being evil as shit and murdering his own father.
Tidus proceeds further into the temple...
"We will protect Yuna from anyone. Even a maester."
*nervous laugh* "This can't be happening..."
Wakka is having a real bad time today what with one of his allies turning out to be a dirty heathen. And one of the leaders of his church committing patricide and other vague villainy on the sly. At least Lulu is ready to put aside her faith and assassinate a church official if need be.
New Music: Seymour's Ambition
Unlike every other Yevon temple we've encountered where it was just one huge antechamber and the Cloister of Trials, this one features a secondary
Seymour trots down the stairs to face the guardians and puts on his smuggest look. He is accompanied by an entourage of two Guado red shirts
Before any conflict can break out, Yuna emerges from the Cloister of Trials. Damn, either she speedrunned those puzzles or Macalania's puzzle crafting skills are sorely lacking.
You killed him.
"What of it? Lady Yuna, certainly you know of these things, did you not?
*looks guilty* ...
Well then, why have you come here?"
Yuna teleports past Seymour and his posse to rejoin her party. Check the video. She literally teleports across the room between cuts...
I see. You came to punish me, then.
Seymour motions to his weird wrinkly sun-baked old man chest and motions for Yuna's hand. No creeper, not even Yuna is that much of a doormat to still come to you at this point.
'Protect the summoner even at the cost of one's life.' The Code of the Guardian. How admirable.
So Yuna... What the hell was the plan here? I know you're big on the whole self-sacrifice thing. But what were you going to do by yourself? Wait for a lengthy summon to gank Seymour? Seymour, the guy that has the heavy metal album cover aeon that can wax anything you'd be able to muster? And now it looks like you're just having your guardians gank Seymour for you now that the jig about Seymour just being a well meaning creep is up. So what benefit was there from hiding the truth about Seymour being evil to your allies? They could have... you know... prepared for a fight against him instead of just winging it out of the blue now that whatever dubious solo plan has fallen through.
"I will not stand by and watch them be hurt. I will fight you, too!"
Alright. So we're all in on just murdering Seymour Guado. Mostly... I like it! Let's do this thing!
Video: Episode 60 Highlight Reel
Macalania Temple Concept Art
Macalania Temple Interior Concept Art