Half Life 2

Part 31

anyways where was i. oh ya, heres gordon right before climbing up and getting murdered by a bunch of gay douche soldiers. anyways lets go up and see if we cant kill them all

holy SHIT they're all around me

god DAMNIT WHY ARE THERE MORE

ARGH WHY CANT THIS GAME HAVE TURN BASED COMBAT

well i managed to get one of them. thats not too bad.

okay lets try that again with a new strategy

fukken run past them

a TANK? are you fucking serious?

OH MY FUCK

fuck this. i thought this was halfslife version 2 not battletanx 64

UPDATED STRATERGY: stay the fuck away from the god damn tank

finally i find an exit. theres some pipe down in that ditch or whatever

pipes are way better than vents. i wonder where it goes

wait.. what?

YOU FUKKIN TRICKED ME YOU GOD DAMN PIPE

i decide to solid snake my way past these fools

complete with murder by rocket launcher

at least the game is nice enough to keep me stocked with explosives

so eventaully i notice this little booth with this switch in it. unfortunately this booth is in the tanks 45 degree radius of destruction so getting this picture was a royal pain in the dick

anyways that opens a gate which leads to this path

where i find another much, much gayer looking tank

unfortunately unlike the last tank this one's turret can move 360 degrees. thats ALL OF THEM by the way

luckily like the last tank the simple action of moving is beyond it's comprehension, so once i turn the corner its incapable of harming me

holy shit this next area starts off by flying a giant manta ray overhead who drops an alien soldier

followed by a fighter jet holy fucking shit thats probably the coolest thing ive seen so far in the entire game

unfortunately right after that we return to the same old shit with gay aliens attacking me

this fagmotron isnt so hard once i have good weapons for a change

keep the change you filthy animal

oh you want some too??

anyways this next segment has tons of the worst enemy in the game, the exploding camera. luckily theyre not too hard to dodge

anyways i think ill just walk around this corner at full speed nothing bad could possibly happen

HOLY ASS

haha thought you could trick me you gay camera? too bad my reaction time is fuckin amazing

luckily i can just shoot these things so theyll blow up and i can continue

SHIT

fuck you. maybe ill just jump over it next time

hahaha cant kill me from here you fucker

FUCK

I FUCKING HATE THESE THING

Guard: "Help me. Help me. Somebody please help me, I'm dyin out here. Please... help... me."

no. lol

hahahahaha

HAHAHAHAHA

anyways i guess i just have to walk down this alley. at least its safe for a change; i dont see any stupid cameras

FUCK. i guess this place has exploding rocks or something

i guess the only way to get past is jump repeatedly while walking through it. this makes me feel like im skipping which is really, really gay

shit

needless to say this takes a couple tries

but eventaully i wind up here. i think this is supposed to be barbed wire, which makes gordon a pretty big badass for standing on barbed wire and not even giving a shit

this next place smells like electricity

well i guess im supposed to go to the roof so ill just walk along this thing

WTF gordon died for ABSOLUTETLY NO REASON WHATSOEVER

i decide to take my anger out on these exploding barrels

yeah blow up you bitches

this gets gordon pumped and gives him the balls to walk up here without dying

aw yea

on the roof is the worlds shortest maze because all you have to do is walk forward, then left and you're there

oh boy, a hole in the ceiling

Scientist: "You're heading for the Lambda complex, aren't you? I was heading there myself until I wound up here, and, well, simply lost my nerve. Take one look through that door and you'll see what I mean. I'm going to wait out the catastrophe in here. If you intend to go on, then I beg of you: proceed with extreme caution." BLAH BLAH BLAH YEAH WE GET IT YOU'RE A HUGE PUSSY