Part 2: Episode 2: Investigation at the High Society Seagull Department Store

They’re okay, really! Just don’t think about that and it’ll be fine.

He… read my mind…!?

More importantly, we need to ask a clerk about the thefts.
Right, right. Umm, excuse me!

I waved to a nearby clerk to call him over to us.


The clerk gave me a once-over and made an ugly face.

……
Do you know where you are, young lady?
Umm… This is the High Society Seagull Department Store, right?
That is correct. The High Society Seagull Department Store! Say it once more!
The High Society Seagull Department Store!
Good. This store is of High Society, by High Society, and for High Society.
It is no place for obviously low society humans. Please leave!


The music stops.

This is blatant speciesism! I hope you’re ready to swallow your words or defend them with steel, cretin! Draw, man, draw, before I stick you like a rotisserie chicken!
Calm down, Goon! Getting into a fight here won’t do us any good! Please, don’t act like San!

And just what does Okosan have that makes him so much more High Society than me!?
Before I could yell at the clerk some more, Ryouta - ever the diplomat - had already begun a new discussion.


Please, we just want to ask you a question. We’ll leave right away!

They… did not break into the store, no. They were not allowed in.
However, as you know, the store faces onto the street. The three Christmas trees we had arranged outside were stolen.
Trees placed outside… just like at Torimi Café!

They seem to be quite crafty. I think this might get difficult, Ryouta.
Aah, I can feel the thrill of the chase! My hunter-gatherer blood boils!
Right on time. I knew it was a good idea to ask you along.
The stolen trees were of little value. We have already sent away for new ones.
Do you think you could wait a little before setting them up? The thieves might come back…

Christmas trees are just so much rubbish once it’s the 26th…
They’re not rubbish! You can use them every year!
Umm, were there any witnesses?
The trees were in a blind spot between security cameras, so alas, we have nothing.
Too busy staring down your own noses to look out the window, were you?
I hope I never see you here again, young lady.

Well, that was a disappointment.
About all we’ve found out is that the thieves aim for trees placed in vulnerable spots outside.
Maybe we should leave?

Well the clerk said that the thieves “weren’t allowed in”, but they also stole three trees without being caught, so they may have still found a way into the store.
I decided to check the clothing section first. Plus, while I’m there I can check out all the new winter fashions!



It’s “out of place”, not “face”!

H-he did it again! He read my mind!
…I decided not to think too hard about it and turned to do some window shopping.
Can birds even wear clothes like these? Are they just for decoration?
???

Shops are always so pretty this time of year! I feel like I’m looking into a different world…
They do look a little unreal. Do you like Christmas, Goon?
My family’s Shin Buddhist, so I’ve never really celebrated it, but… I do like it when everybirdie’s all festive!
I’m not exactly Christian, but I like the atmosphere, too… Actually, I don’t think that many people celebrate it for religious reasons anymore…

You dress up as Santa, right?
Yup!
With a miniskirt?
Yup!

Why does Ryouta get all the female main character jobs!?

That must be fun… I’d like to try doing something cute and high school girl-ish like that sometime, too.

Cosplaying as Santa right before junior year exams… Just thinking about it makes my heart flutter!

Well, it seemed as if there were no clues in the clothing section, so we continued our search in the furniture section.



There are humidifiers, hot water bottles, and other thermal frivolities lined up nearby.
Winter goods are awfully fancy… Maybe I should indulge in something? A bonfire alone just doesn’t say “decadent”.

Hey, Goon… Look over there.

!
The music stops.

A disturbingly familiar quail is fast asleep on a display bed.

Sir, you can’t just crash in a department store! You’re a grown-up now, you need to take care of yourself!
……Ah!



Are you fully awake, sir? We’re not at school!
Oh……? Good heavens, so we aren’t.
You might’ve been here until closing time, if we hadn’t happened by…
Oh, yes… It’s been so cold recently, I was thinking maybe I should buy a new bed.
It does get very chilly after dark. Make sure not to catch cold, you two.

Mr. Nanaki crawls out of the bed and wobbles off towards a table covered in wool blankets of various dimensions.

Blankets…
I bet my Casio Mini he’ll fall asleep on that, too!

Well, it appeared that the furniture section was a bust as well. We headed out to the main lobby again.
The music stops.



All right, where to next?
The thefts have gotten onto the news—if we ask around, we should find some eyewitnesses.
Sounds good!

Before we could start the next step of our investigation, I heard a loud noise from behind me.

!?
What? Huh?

Some glass object splinters with a monumental crash behind us as we make for the exit.
I turn around, and—



Merry Christmas!! Merry Christmas!!!!

What are those? They look… a little like doves, but not really… are they… maybe they are doves??
In any case, a pair of bizarre white creatures are bludgeoning themselves against a number of glass Christmas trees and reindeer.

What are those? Are they doves?
Umm… I’m not sure. I’ve never seen anything like them.


Merry Christmas!! Merry Christmas!!!!

Various sounds of destruction, such as glass breaking and punches, are heard.

The creatures frolic through the Christmas display like fuzzy wrecking balls, leaving behind nothing but broken glass and lost profits.
While we were watching this display, the clerk from before returned with a security guard.


Oh, dear… That’s no good.

The guard pulled the two… birds over.

Merry! Christmas!
In any case, I’ll have to take you to the employees’ lounge. High Society does have rules.
Merry…? Christmas…

The creatures trail dejectedly after the security guard.

What were those?

I guess Christmas gets everyone pretty excited. Sort of like demons which rampage during the full moon!
The music stops.


Apparently trees aren’t just being stolen from outside, but from inside houses as well.
If only we knew what the culprits looked like…
Well, the investigation at the High Society Seagull Department Store was a bust, so Ryouta and I called it a day there.