Part 22: Episode 13: Infiltrating Golden Weekly! The True Scheme Discovered

The building is right across from here, so there’s no way I’ll miss him as he’s going in…
Oh! There he is!
Anghel enters the building, a massive manila envelope under his wing. Is that full of comic pages?
Time to go in after him!
I waited a little bit before entering after him, so that he wouldn’t notice me.
The music stops.





There are a few birds walking around inside, but nothing suspicious.
I can’t imagine Mr. Nishikikouji fitting into such a completely ordinary-looking company, really.
Never mind a sore thumb, he must stick out like a thumb that’s been nearly lost in a freak machining accident and is now attached through elaborate bandaging in a last-ditch effort to save it!
I took a quick look down the main hallway and sure enough--



Hello! I’m so glad you could make it today. I’ve been waiting for you!
Indeed. It is time for us to carve out a new creation under the auspices of the Spirit of Reason… Golden-Winged Messenger.
Yes… yes… of course. Let us engage in creative acts fueled by the finest substances of our imagination!

The incredibly conspicuous golden pheasant and the similarly conspicuous bleeding-heart dove disappear into a door at the end of the excessively ordinary hallway.
Their conversation just now didn’t sound at all suspicious… But my danger sense is tingling. After them!
The music stops.

I slowly approached the door that they had entered, making sure not to alert any of the other birds of my presence.
This is the room…

Huh?

There’s a light on above the door. It says--



What? What!? No one answers me.
In any case, Anghel’s in danger! Enough sneaking, it’s time for actions! Loud ones!
With no time to waste, I kicked open the door.



In the very un-meeting-room-like room are Anghel, unconscious, and--

What is it now? The operation is in progress. Didn’t you see the sign outside?

--the flashy pheasant, drawing blood from him.

Wh-what are you doing!? You’re not drawing any manga at all! You’re just drawing blood!

Saying creepy stuff like that while draining away somebirdie’s lifeblood is an awful lot like a certain fluffy heretic!

Release him! Now! Or I’ll take him here by force!
Oh my, how gallant. Would you be his sweetheart, then?
No! We two are linked by the karma of our previous lives, a disaster of the soul!
Hmmm… I see your worldview is every bit as unique as his. Birds of a feather, eh?
…I had thought your face was familiar. We have met before, yes?
So, you will be taking him home, then… Hmm.



Think I can’t do anything because I’m just a human girl, do you!? Plenty of people have regretted that before you!
Take this! Acrobatic… Starlight… Kiiiick!!

I brought my leg up for the strike, but Mr. Nishikikouji moved out of the way just in time. There was now a large hole in the ground where he had been standing.

Oh, my. Isn’t that dangerous? You’ve knocked a hole in the floor, young lady. I rather think a direct hit might leave my beautiful plumage disgracefully signed!
He… dodged it…?

He’s in better shape than the aforementioned fluffy heretic!

Thus the flamboyant heretic happily praises me. Oh, stop! I’ll blush!

…Wait, no!
I am Goon of St. Pigeonation’s! I will defeat you and bring my classmate back with me!
Hahaha! Gallant indeed!
Prepare yourself for the end, Mr. Bishikikouji!

The music stops.

……

Did I? Maybe I did. Geez, between you and Mr. Nanaki, a girl just can’t get away with a little slip of the tongue around here!

…And I believe… this is the second time you have done so, is it not?

Mr. Bishikikouji-wait no I mean Mr. Nishikikouji’s cheerful tone of voice is suddenly gone, his words now barely audible.
This must be what they call the calm before the storm.

You are still a child, so perhaps you do not know. Do you understand what a serious offense it is to misspeak someone’s name?
Particularly my name. My name is special. Because I am special. It is the only name of its kind. Nishikikouji. Tohri.
This is… the worst affront imaginable.



Mechanical whirring sounds echoed through the room, ending with a loud, shrill beep.

What!? What’s happening!?

I jumped to move Anghel away from Mr. Nishikikouji, and we both ended up on the other side of the room.
By the time my visibility returned, I couldn’t believe what had happened to the room.

Good thing I got Anghel and got out of the way! I could have been vaporized!

Thunder? That can’t be it… Some sort of laser weapon?
I would rather you did not think of it as some lowly laser beam.

Mr. Nishikikouji made a step to the side, revealing what had caused the damage.



It is the ultimate weapon, utilizing young Higure’s unique physical properties. Is it not beautiful?
Anghel’s physical properties…?

He must be talking about… that. That thing where he draws other people into his fantasies when he gets excited.
But if it’s based on Anghel’s powers, then how is he…

…Oh!

There are two birds attached to the laser!

…I suppose this is Ray’s first introduction. Very well, I shall explain.

The pheasant inflates his chest and begins his lecture. He was angry up until a minute ago, but now that he’s talking about his creation he seems pretty happy. Is his personality that simple?

The factor behind Higure’s ability to draw those around him into mass hallucinations is abundant in his blood. In other words, with this blood, anyone can have the same power!

Umm… Why am I shivering?

What people on this earth have the least love for the world, and live for their fantasies the most? Where could I find them? My research was long and arduous.
But then, I found the answer!


That’s--that’s too cruel! How could you use a couple of harmless otaku as weapons to hurt others!?
Cruel? Whatever do you mean!? Inconceivable! It cannot be! How could they not rejoice at becoming a part of my beautiful creation!?



Pretty Coore so moe~
Coore Light Grey so moe~

That sounds like disgusting paint! Wait, I think this is the first time I’ve seen otaku who say “moe~” in real life!

This weapon is useless! What good is it going to do now!? We’re not at war! Release those otaku!
Useless? Oh, no. It has a purpose. A very important one.

The music stops.
Wh… what…?

More specifically, what lies beneath your school. And… one bird there in particular.
Wait! What did we do!? Is this revenge for your dead parents!?



So it’s a personal grudge, then!? Is that it!?
I don’t know what’s going on, but I can’t just stand by now that I’ve heard this! I’ll stop you, here and now!
I’d like to see you try.

As I approached, the mechanical whirring began again as Mr. Nishikikouji prepared the laser for another shot.
Aaagh! I can’t get close!

Otaku truly have amazing imaginations! I can see no limits to their use.
Gah…!

I can’t fight very well while carrying Anghel, either. I think I might have to pull out for now…

I will stop you, Mr. Nishikikouji! I will!
Ahaha, please, do try! I hope you can come up with something by tomorrow!


And so I recovered Anghel and fled from the Golden Weekly headquarters…
The music stops.









It was a dream!?
Nope, just kidding. It remains a troubling reality.

After making my daring escape from the Golden Weekly building, I called Ryouta and Mr. Nanaki in order to come up with a plan for tomorrow. Anghel had woken up by the time we arrived at our meeting place.


Geez, don’t confuse me like that…
Hmm… It looks like this is more serious than we thought.
I don’t think anybirdie would have expected to find an operation room and a giant laser in a publisher’s building… I’m just glad you and Anghel are okay, Goon.


Why would you be donating blood at a publisher’s, anyway? Did you notice what was happening, Anghel?
No… my consciousness wandered into the great void…

In other words, he’d go to a meeting, be stunned, have blood taken, and then go home feeling dazed and anemic.
That’s… too much! How did he not notice!?

Mr. Nishikikouji said I would have to come up with something by tomorrow. I think that’s when he’s planning to attack!
The laser at the office blasted through the floor… It was about as powerful as my Starlight Kick.
He probably has a more powerful version prepared, if he’s hoping to destroy the school…
That seems likely.

Aah… Calling up and saying “Excuse me officer, but there’s a comic book editor and he wants to blow up my school with a giant laser” probably wouldn’t get more than an immediate disconnection.

I guess we’ll have to defend the school ourselves!
It looks like it… Let’s have some tea and think about it. I think I’ll have peach tea.
I would like melon soda!
I would like the Pulsating Blood Blessed by Earth and Sky--blood orange juice.
You three are awfully relaxed!

Who is Mr. Nishikikouji trying to get revenge on, anyway?
Since he’s targeting the school it must be a student or teacher here, but…
As curious as I was about his intentions, I couldn’t let myself get too caught up in thinking about it. We had to come up with a way to stop his laser, and fast!