Part 29: Legumentine's Chronicles

Legumentine’s Chronicles



Deliveries? I had thought the first run wouldn’t be arriving until next week.
Editor: These aren’t magazines, sir. They’re beans.
And who here sent away for beans?
Editor: Oh, right, this is your first time. It’s a tradition, sir. Readers always send beans addressed to their favorite characters on Legumentine’s.
They send them to their favorite characters!?

Editor: Well, you’re not very popular, sir.
This is a gross injustice! How dare they all have fun without me just because it’s Legumentine’s!?
Editor: I don’t think anyone sends beans to the editor-in-chief anywhere, sir. It’s really not worth worrying about.
No, this is a grave state of affairs. We must cause swift and terrible retribution to fall on the heads of those who dare have fun without me!






This is the place you recommend, Okosan?
Coooooo! (That is correct! There are many beans in the basement of the High Society Seagull Department Store!)

I’m not sure if it’s the employees’ attitudes, or the employees’ attitudes, or… it might even be the employees’ attitudes, but there’s something I just don’t like about this place. Then again, Okosan is the biggest gourmet in town, so if he says it’s the best, it must be the best.
I suppose that I can put aside my unknown problems with the department store if it guarantees quality for my friends.

Let’s head in!

However, Okosan and I were left with our mouths (and beak) agape as we saw the state of the store.
The music stops.






Okosan, everything’s sold out!
Coooooo!? (This is not right! Are there not always great quantities of beans here, even on Legumentine’s!?)
Those, and those, and those, and those. I’ll take all of them. Yes, those too.

!
I suddenly heard a familiar, villainous voice. I can’t believe him!

Mr. Nishikikouji!



Cooo! (This is miserable and unmanly market monopolization! That gaudy bird is trying to corner the market!)
Why are you doing this, Mr. Nishikikouji!? How can you start hoarding the bean supply on Legumentine’s!? Are you buying all these to give them to yourself!? Just how vain and self-absorbed are you!?!?
You lack imagination, my girl! What a terrible pity. Why should I do something so low?

That’s low!!!! That’s so low it’s almost making me laugh!!!!!

Tender, passionate young hens, swept up by the gentle, flowery winds of first love, flock to this establishment, the foremost purveyor of celebratory legumes in the city, only to find every variety, every color, every size, sold out! Their hopes dashed at once, and they are left in despair!
Aaah, how beautiful! Magnificent, artistic tragedy! Hahahahahahahaha!!!

This seems a bit convoluted even for a Tokusatsu villain’s plan…

You’ll never be happy with yourself if you keep thinking like that. Act your age, Mr. Nishikikouji! Here!

I grabbed a small bag from my skirt pockets and threw it to Mr. Nishikikouji, who caught after a bit of fumbling.

The music stops.

Courtesy beans! I’m just giving them to you to be nice, but it should still make you feel a little better about your life!
Do you mock me!?
No! I’m just being polite!
You’re mocking me!
Don’t you want them? At least this way you’ll have gotten some from someone.
Agh…

The gaudy pheasant seems extremely unnerved by my proffered beans.
This… couldn’t possibly be the first time he’s ever gotten beans on Legumentine’s, could it…?



I am busy. I’m going home!

Having reconsidered his attempt to corner the bean market, the golden pheasant left.

Cooooo! (Goon stopped him! Goon is a true warrior!)
Half of these bins have nothing left but little signs saying they’re sold out, but… what’s left should be enough.



And so, Legumentine’s Day was saved! Thanks to… Goon Lourde!