Part 18: TussleWelcome back, everybody!
We're Henry, and you know what?
You know WHAT?
We've had ENOUGH!
We didn't do nothing of note except be a jerk to our wife, then deny our mentor, ignore a murder, get a guy killed and...
kind of lost my train of thought there.
ANYWAY! We've got a pipe, we're furious, and we...
Wait we... don't have a pipe.
..I think we...
...made a miscalculation.
It's hard to see here, but Harris starts kicking our unconscious body (totally knocked out after like 3 hits, because without a weapon, we're of COURSE a pushover.)
- I'll email your manager right now,
he'll see it when he gets to work.
And as you're clearing out your office,
I'll stand watching with a great smirk.
At this point, we crawl away, cringing and muttering about revenge because of course that's what we do
- He took away my keycards however.
I might have to get rid of him forever.
...we're going to murder him, huh.
Yes, that's exactly the escalation that this situation calls for!
I mean, Henry, it's not like nobody was going to ask how you got the animals, right? So presumably your being on this floor would have come OUT.
If we're living in the backwards universe where just OWNING pills makes you their discoverer, where if you have no idea what they are or how they're made you still get the benefit of owning them...
...then it's probably ok if you get "fired" for being on a floor, as long as you can then get your job back, right?
No? Alright! Let's murder a dude, probably!
But for NOW
BACK INTO THE OFF-
Ok, back home then.
Let's see Grace I GUESS *mumble mumble*
Oh, yeah! She's better now, right?
- I had another terrible nightmare,
this one was many times worse!
So I decided I really had to get up,
to my mind in something different immerse.
While on the one hand... worsening nightmares than the one that woke you with a scream, is BAD...
Grace, that rhyming structure. I really can barely even PARSE that second line!
- Besides, I feel like a brand new me!
I think it also shows, don't you agree?
- Could that little tablet really have accomplished this?
It's as though you've from an angel been given a kiss.
- Could I take a blood sample, to see if you're in remission?
It's a farfetched and silly idea, by my very own admission.
- But imagine what it'll do for my career if it is true!
I'd finally show everyone, none of them have a clue!
"But just think of the potential benefits to ME!" is basically Henry's #1 sentence.
- Get ready for bed hun, while I get a syringe.
It will only be but a moment's twinge.
So no... no dinner then? Just "hey doll, throw out that pasta and hop into bed, I might be able to use you for my career!"
So we run up to get the syringe (incidentally, in another timeline, getting a syringe is such an unbelievable ordeal that it's very funny to me that there's just one here. Like, steal a giant tub of chemicals for a meth-lab in exchange for a syringe difficult)...
...check downstairs to make sure that yes, we REALLY did skip dinner...
- Get out of this place? Don't you like our cosy dwelling?
We made this our own, you're not thinking of selling?
- We deserve so much better, with much nice things.
We belong in high society, I want to spread our wings!
Henry... can you like... do you know about good decisions? Or responsibility?
- But I like it h-
- Now, now - that's enough of that.
We can talk about it another time,
let's not get into a silly spat.
It really never gets old for me how awful Henry is. He's caring for Grace ONLY when she's basically catatonic, and therefore doesn't have any clashes with his desires.
As soon as she wants anything different than him, he just doesn't even hear her at ALL. Now, it doesn't help that Grace is pretty much a doormat (can you tell this was written by a man?), but STILL.
- There - now that really wasn't so bad, was it?
It'll be exciting to see the results, you must admit!
- Are you joining me in bed?
Maybe I'll give you head!
...yeah, it WAS written by a man, wasn't it!
- I'd love to Grace, but right now I have to return to work.
I've a bit of a situation, involving that security chief jerk.
That's a... pretty mild way of saying it!
- At this hour of the night? You're aware it's incredibly late?
If you could leave it until tomorrow, it would be really great.
- Sorry hun, I've got to run.
SURE BABE ANYWAY SAVE THAT SEX FOR ME I'M OUT
So back at work, Harris is gone.
However, if we run in the main area...
Yeah, all our keycards are gone, so we can't get to level 3 either. (aren't there security cameras out here? Shouldn't Harris know as soon as we're back?)
Oh well, we know what to do.
Use the 'ol trick from earlier.
Now we get in the unlocked back, and slip into Harris' office! (I guess THIS is why the security chief has an office in the old decaying section - if it was on the main building's floor 2 or whatever, we'd be pooched)
Ok we've... 100% settled on murder! I mean, I knew we were CAPABLE.
*Does this smell like chloroform? WHUMP*
Also yes we know, Harris probably drugged somebody. Neat.
Maybe we could... put some sleeping potion in it?
Knock him out? Henry's pretty handy with chemicals, I'm sure we...
Henry what are-
YEAH I SUPPOSE IT WOULD.
I mean, this is like, according to the janitor, able to eat through metal bars in a short time.
I kind of doubt this would leave coffee in a state where anybody would fall for it. The color, smell, the uh... fact that it ate through some of the cup, leaving a pitted surface?
And if it DID work, this is like...
I can't imagine how painful this would be. If it was a strong enough acid to overpower the stomach acid, then I GUESS... it would just melt all your organs or something? It would at LEAST just shred the throat.
This is... pretty monstrous, big H!
You added corrosive cleaner liquid to Harris' coffee
- I need to make sure that Harris truly dies.
But I can't be seen in here, that'd be unwise.
- How could I watch someone die,
without being seen, like a spy?
Yeah, yeah, let's go spy on this with the snake cam.
Before that though, there's a new prompt in this room after you add the acid to the coffee - the computer!
- The email sent to my manager,
trying to get me left without job.
I can't wait for him to slowly die!
I just want to punch his ugly gob!
...yeah but you can't, because you're a weakling. That's why we're doing THIS.
Also, Henry, you FAMOUSLY can't "recall" an email.
There are like... entire COMEDY routines about this. It's gone through the mail server. This should be obvious!
SO NOW IT'S OUR VOTE TIME!
a) "Recall" the email before Harris comes back
b) GET OUT of there!
There's uh... I usually don't like to give spoilers or tip you of any kind but...
you might think "oh just wait for Harris to come back, murder him, THEN recall the email"
there's... no GUARANTEE that Henry is going to remember this email, even when it REALLY SEEMS like he should.
Of course there's ALSO no guarantee that we'll be able to delete the email before Harris gets back.