Part 55: Selling to Tony
Our last customer is Tony. Hopefully he'll be less shitty now that we confronted him.
Music: Shadowy Men
How're you doing after our chat yesterday?
Not great. I couldn't sleep very well after what you said.
In fact, I ended up cracking open a bottle of bourbon I'd been holding on to.
Got a nasty hangover, huh?
Yeah, you could say that. I got through the entire thing. Did some hardcore thinking.
Turns out I managed to solve a few issues I've been having though.
Yeah, like what?
Well, for one, I realised music's my reason for living.
Good to hear it.
Did you come over just to see how I was doing?
That's one of the reasons.
What else did you want then?
Wanna buy something off me?
Wanna buy something off me?
If the truth be known, I've got to sell some of this stuff to the people living here.
Hang on, are you trying to tell me...
Tell you what?
That you pretended to listen to my problems just so that you could sell me something?
Tony, I'll be honest with you...
Get outta here, man!
Hold it, let me explain!
I'm not buying anything from you!
Please, Tony, just hear me out!
Gimme a break, will you?
I thought you were better than this, man!
Yeah, well, I got my reasons.
Reasons, huh? Get outta here, you lousy bum!
Tony looks pretty angry as he disappears back into his room.
(Damn. This isn't nearly as easy as I thought it would be.)
Yup. That went as well as expected.
Anyway, that goes to the same Game Over as before, so let's actually sell to our second client.
Come on, would I do that?
Come off it man, would I do that?
You're being straight with me, right?
Of course I am! I noticed how you were feeling after we spoke yesterday evening.I just wanted to let you know that I've got some problems I'd like to share too.
No need to freak out, I'm not gonna try and scam you or anything.
You know, unlike what you did 2 days ago
Good to hear, man.
I didn't mean to accuse you, you know.
Yeah, I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have tried to sell you stuff when I know you're short of cash.
You know it! I've only got the money for cheap stuff anyway! You'd be wasting your efforts trying to sell to me!
Forget about it.
(This sales lark isn't as easy as it could be.)
Welp. Looks like this choice is a dead end. Time to...
I've just remembered!
There was something I was thinking about buying.
What was it?
Looks like we're going to make that sale after all
Guess a guitar's pretty valuable
A guitar is an invaluable piece of equipment to a person in the music business.
Musicians may make a lot of sacrifices when they're short of cash, but they'll always be willing to buy something if it's for their guitar.
You got that right.
Technically it's not true if the musician isn't a guitarist (or can't play a guitar), but close enough, I guess.
Glad to know we see eye to eye for once, Hyde.
I'm looking for something to put the shine back on the old guitar.
There's an audition coming up and I've gotta get it shining before then. My guitar's in a pretty bad state. Real filthy, y'know?
The stuff I was using before just ran out right before this audition came up. Put me in a real fix.
The problem is, these things cost money and the kind of stuff I'm after is expensive.Be good if there was something cheaper available.
There is, Tony.
Really? You've got something like that?
Tony Flowchart posted:
Wanna buy something off me? -> Next
Is there anything bothering you? -> Skip next step
Correct! -> Fail
Come on, would I do that? -> Next
Don't press -> Fail
Guess a guitar's pretty valuable -> Success
I don't have a clue about guitars -> Fail
Music: Gusty Town
Show Frank's tape
I really appreciate your help on this one, Hyde.
Show snow globe
That's pretty. Pretty cool, I mean.
Show other wares
I don't need one of those. No hard feelings, right?
Obviously, we need a cleaner to make his guitar sparkling clean.
Here, take a look at this.
I hand Tony the cleaner.
It's one of the items I'm selling.
It's super strong and more than capable of removing even the toughest dirt and grime.
So this'll work on my guitar too?
Okay, I'll take one.
Here's the cash.
Tony disappears back into his room.
(That's that. I've sold two items to people living here in this building.)
(Damn. Didn't think doing this kind of work would take so much out of me!)
(Time to get Ed on the phone and let him know.)
Music: Overstepped Memory
Knock Tony's door again "Get outta here, man. Can't you see I'm busy?"
Yeah, I get the message.
No, we really can't see that you're busy. The door's in the way. With nothing else to do, we...
It's my pager.
All right, all right. We're calling. Jeez.
Music: Heating Up
Time to give Rachel a call.
It's me, you got an update for me?
How're the sales going?
No problem at all.
I'm glad to hear it! I've been so worried about it that I haven't been able to focus on work.
Gimme a break, I'm not totally useless, you know.
Rachel, someone's pushing my buzzer.
Okay, Kyle, we can talk later.
I'll call again.
*Rachel hangs up*
(Who could that be?)
Let's see who it is.
Music: Joke's On You
Wanna tell me why you sold this to me?
You're not making any sense, Tony.
Don't try and wriggle out of it! I'm talking about that crap you sold me.
You had a problem with the cleaner?
A problem? Yeah, that's one way of putting it!
I tried polishing my guitar with some of it,
And before I knew it, the enamel had all peeled off!
Are you serious?
Why'd you convince me to buy something like that? You idiot! You've totally ruined my chances at that audition! No point in even going now!
Hey, c'mon, the guitar can still play, right?
Cool it, Tony.
You call yourself a salesman? Selling people useless crap like this!
Dammit, Hyde, why do you always keep pushin' me?
Fine, I'll admit that this time it was completely deserved.
Music: Dream's End
(Now that was a punch! Guess people punch harder when they're really angry.)
I feel like such a bastard... Maybe I should've tried selling him some wax instead.
If you look back at the cleaner's description, it's obvious why we shouldn't have sold the cleaner