Part 12: Unusual hiring practices.
Completing the Kung Fu chapter next went completely uncontested, so let’s jump right into it.
A style of Kung Fu generations old is about to fade away, forever…
Yes… Yes, this will work. (This chapter was done by inhesto during the old LP, and their best translation for the original Xin Shan Quan was “Soul of the Mountain Kung Fu”. Any and all Chinese to English translations in these updates are courtesy of them.)
Oh my yes.
Drammatica: The Very Best of Yoko Shimomura was a compilation album released in 2008, and the long-titled “The Bird Flies in the Sky, The Fish Swims in the River” was one of two tracks from Live-A-Live to be recreated for it.
Oh, right. Enough about this scenario’s music; let’s see the Master train.
When proper focus is applied, however, even the most placid of water can become destructive!
Harden both body and mind, and you will know no equal, in heaven or on earth.
Ha!
It is as I expected… 
Before my time comes to an end, I must entrust to one of strong body, and of strong mind… My WuTang!
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(No music.)
Our mission is simple. The WuTang Master must find some pupils to train.
To prepare for the task ahead, we raid all the jars and cupboards in his little dojo.
We get a healthy selection of healing items, as well as one useful piece of equipment. +20 speed is pretty excellent. (Also note that our cursor is a panda.
)
Apparently part of the WuTang secret is to take everything that’s not nailed down and on fire.
The summit is where we just saw the Master training; it gives me serious Mount Ordeals vibes.
...Man, ancient China had a lot of forests. And giant pillars of stone.
The three locations further down Mount Da Zhi can be visited in any order, but I’d recommend going to the Bamboo Forest first.
Bandits and tigers in the same forest? Rough neighbourhood.
Not that the WuTang Master has anything to fear, of course.
The Master has seven techniques in his arsenal, one of which is a counter. LaoHuZhiWu (“Old Fox Dance”) is definitely a fan favourite, inflicting the ailments that stop hand techs and foot techs/movement very reliably. It scales with IQ, unlike the rest of his moves.
Oh, and a sidenote: The Master does not gain experience. He’s old and reaching his limits, after all.
Five of the plants in the forest are key items, while the rest are a selection of restoratives. We’ll need the former very soon.
Though first, we may need to deal with whatever that is.
(Music stops.)
You really shoulda known better, gramps! Hand over all yer cash, an’ make it snappy!Well, we can hand it over… But this bandit will just run off if we do. So instead we’ll say I’m broke.
What’d you say!?
Hah, you trying to shoot for sympathy just ‘cuz you’re older’n some of the trees here?
Yes, it is indeed obvious that we have a Zaki situation going on here.
So after we cripple the begeezus out of this woman, let’s look at a few of the Master’s other moves.
Squirrel Kick is the only one of the non-counter techs that can be used when you aren’t right up next to an opponent, and it has a chance to stun. Another keeper.
Lion Hand has knockback, which we already know is great for interrupting things and avoiding counterattacks. And with that little demonstration, the bandit has been shown swift justice.
My, but you should be ashamed of yourself, little one. However, your technique shows promise… Why not learn Kung Fu and give yourself a new lease on life?
But… you still… Argh, damnit, I’m pissed! Alright, gramps, I’m game! I’ll learn from you. But don’t expect any loyalty or anything like that!!
Heheheh… If you say so, little one. Don’t call me that!!
Alright, alright. Don’t be so angry. Smiles suit you better. Hmph! You talk too much, gramps. Come on, let’s get out of here.Li became a pupil!
And just like that, we have one of the Master’s students all ready to go. I could fight tigers to give Li some experience, but I actually want to avoid levelling up for the time being.
We can’t go anywhere beyond the tiger-filled forest, so let’s return to the main intersection.
Alright, next stop on our whirlwind tour.
Wong Town has seen better days. Let’s see if we can’t help right a few Wongs. Or get a few Wongs upright, rather.
Urrgh…
There are six people lying around, and you can use the healing plants gathered from the forest to cure their plague.
As the game will handily tell you here.
The sixth person is actually just hungry. You can give them a Meat Bun, but you’ll get no reward. The actual sick people will cough up some more equipment and healing buns.
Aside from this lady, who has to be cured to progress. So let’s use the last of our healing plants, and…
Ooohhh… I think… I’ll be alright… Aren’t you the… 
You must be the Master. Thank you. That was my grandson… He’s a nice boy, but he’s been acting strange these days… Hmm… Perhaps we should investigate.
Just looking, buddy. For now.
(Music stops.)
Okay… 
What, is this it? You ain’t gonna make a profit stealin’ from the poor! ... Well, go on! Get lost! ...
What’d you say!?
I-it’s wrong! I c-c-c-can’t do it anymore! You even made me m-mug my g-g-grandma! ... I’ll give you one more chance. Apologize! N-no! I-I don’t want to be a loser…!!
Haha… Yeah, no.
‘scuse me, coming through.
You believe yourself to be stronger than this boy, is that correct? ... Well, duh! I beg to differ. You are much weaker than he. The hell you talkin’ about?
Power comes not only from the body. In my eyes, the boy has much strength, indeed. Yer pullin’ my leg, old man! I could crush the kid like a bug if I wanted! You still don’t get it, do you?
Okay, so. These guys.
These guys are chumps.
Like, seriously. They are one of the few enemies that can trigger the Master’s counterattack, because FushaNoSha (“To strike without striking”) only works against ranged moves.
They drop more equipment that isn’t as good as what the Master starts with.
(Music stops.)
I-I remember now! This old guy! He’s… 
Wha…!? F-f-forgive meee!!
I-I… Even though I stole… oh!
Thank you, young man. Remember that power doesn’t just come from the body. W-wait, sir!
Hmm… If we remain silent, we get this line:
Yeah, I guess you’re right… A “spindly little pile of bones” like could never study under the famous Master… And the boy would run off. However, it would just force us to recruit him later, so… Sorry, but…
! Why worry? You have already bested them. Master…!
And this here is where the conversation would continue from if we had kept quiet. Yuan would have been waiting for us further up the mountain, moving up all the way to block the dojo’s door if he’s continually refused.
Master…! I admire your courage… I thought, perhaps, that you could become stronger without my aid. Your mind is already fierce, and your will to become strong is great. That is real power. Y-yeah! I haven’t asked your name yet. Oh… it’s Yuan… Yuan Jou. N-nice to meet you, Master!Yuan became a pupil!
Okay, let’s see if we can go three for three.
Hmm…
(Music stops.)I believe we may have found the cause of this dilemma.
The big fella’s got some moves. Also, I’m glad not all the slapstick is confined to the Caveman chapter.
(Music stops.)
B-but I’m broke… 
Oh, Master! This guy’s welching on his meal! I want him punished!Now, we can agree to beat him up, or we can pay for his meal. It makes absolutely no difference beyond getting to curbstomp a fat guy.
Mmph… Nnn… N-nooooooooo!!
There are more moves I need to show off though.
Bai Li Dao Yi Bu Jiao (“Fifty miles begins with a single step”) often stuns the enemy; perhaps it’s more reliable than Squirrel Kick?
Long Hu Liang PoWan ("Together, the Dragon and Tiger shatter your wrist") lowers a whole bunch of the enemy’s stats when it hits. That leaves us with only one more of the Master’s techs to demonstrate, and that will come next update.
(Music stops.)Because today’s lesson in pain is over.
Mmmph… Y-you’re old… but strong… Well, that’s settled! You!! Give your thanks to the Master!!
Ah yes, good ol’-fashioned long pork. Or maybe round pork, in this case.
I… I’m not exactly smart, so nobody would hire me… But because I’m so big, I get hungrier than most people. You know… You ought to be proud of your body. Huh? B-but people make fun of me because I’m fat. Why should I be… proud of it?
... Despite your weight, you are agile. I’m very impressed! That’s… probably because I have to run away so often… If you come study under me, you can eat whatever you want. You will need to do some exercise, of course.
I don’t care what I have to do, show me the food!! What is your name? Sammo! Sammo Hakka! Now let me at that fooooood!!Sammo became a pupil!
And with that, we have a full party and the Master has a good selection of pupils to train… all of them thieves, in one way or another.
It’s hard to gather the materials, and it requires a lot of patience to cook.
Aside from a little flavour text and some random items from the townsfolk, there’s nothing more to do here.
So next time we’ll take a look at how the WuTang master train his pupils… However!
There’s an important vote to be made! 
You see, the Master’s power can only truly be passed on to one of these three youths. And it’s up to you folks to decide which of them will become the next WuTang Master!
So let’s take a better look at the candidates…
Li Kuugo
Li will develop into a good all-round combatant with high speed, though her IQ takes a little longer to rise. She starts with and also learns some strong physical techniques, some of which have better range than the old Master’s moves. Certainly a solid selection.
Yuan Jou
Juan is the very definition of a late bloomer. His basic moves and stats are lousy, but his stat growths and later-learned techs are fantastic once he puts them to use. He will have much, much higher IQ than either of the other students, but his HP will always be somewhat on the low side. Definitely more of a ranged attacker.
Sammo Hakku
Sammo is slower than the other pupils and his IQ is awful, but he will have tons of Vitality and about 50% more health than Li at the same level. He learns one of only two techs that allow the player to cause the ‘Drunk’ status effect, which disables all techs except the target’s ‘basic’ attack. (So for players, whichever is first on the list.)
So there you have it! Do you want an all-rounder, a late-blooming glass cannon or a slow tanky character? Please bold your votes!