Part 33: Kung Fu - Update # 4 - The Master Shows Mercy to a Thief and Recruits His Third StudentKung Fu Chapter, Part 4: The Master Shows Mercy to a Thief and Recruits His Third Student
The Master feels the emptiness in his stomach, and decides it is time to visit the village to the east. Though it is humble in appearance, it is known for the quality of its food and chefs. He brings his two new students along. When they arrive, the Master is greeted with both warmth and bad news.
: A pity, for you sell the best persimmons I have tasted in my life.
: Gramps, you can't say some crap like that and not back it up! Look, he's got one left. Let's try it!
The Master nods and purchases the merchant's last fruit, and hands it to Yuan. The boy stares blankly back when Li begins yelling.
: Hey, what the hell? I was the one who asked for it!
The Master smiles.
: This is your first lesson. Li, you must retrieve the persimmon from Yuan's possession. Yuan, you must keep it from Li at all costs. I forbid either of you to strike the other.
Both students give the Master incredulous looks when he signals for them to begin. Li snarls and turns to her peer, ready to dive. Yuan yelps and sprints away from her, clutching the fruit in both hands. The two chase each other across the street and back many times. The Master cannot contain his laughter. Soon, a roar interrupts the antics.
A man as large as the Shaq itself emerges from the Master's favorite restaurant, wolfing down a bowl of noodles as he dashes. Behind him is the owner, wielding a meat cleaver and scrambling after the thief, though he is not as quick.
: Argh! Somebody gimme a hand! Free meal to whomever catches this guy!
The Master springs to action, leaping at the thief. He grabs the giant man by the wrist and gives is a twist. It is not enough to induce pain, but it locks his joint and prevents escape.
: B-but I'm broke...
: Rrrrrgh...!! Oh, Master! This guy's welching on his meal! I want him punished!
: Calm down, sir. There is no need for violence here.
: No way! I can't make a living if my customers don't pay! Unless you'd like to foot the bill for this deadbeat?
: You promised a free meal to the one who caught this man, correct? I have caught him, so you may give my free meal to him.
: Grrr... Well, that's settled! You!! Give your thanks to the Master!! If you try this again, it'll be your arse over my fire!
: Actually sir, I should like if you would prepare a table for four. We will be dining at your establishment shortly.
The owner of the restaurant turns red, fuming. But he is at a loss for words and returns to his retaurant huffing in anger. When he is out of sight, the large man turns to the Master
: Why did you...
: I... I'm not exactly smart, so nobody would hire me... But because I'm so big, I get hungrier than most people.
: You know... You ought to be proud of your body.
: Huh? B-but people make fun of me because I'm fat. Why should I be... proud of it?
: It's true... You are quite unique... Despite your weight, you are agile. I'm very impressed!
: That's... probably because I have to run away so often...
: If you come study under me, you can eat whatever you want. You will need to do some exercise, of course.
: Food!! I don't care what I have to do, show me the food!!
: Geez, you fatty, didn't you just pig out?
: What is your name?
: Sammo! Sammo Hakka! Now let me at that foooooood!!
: Then let us return to that restaurant. My other two disciples have yet to eat lunch.
As the four walk through the town, Yuan's eyes brighten.
: Hey Sammo, if you're still hungry, I've got a persimmon here.
: Really?! Persimmons are my favorite! Let me at it!
Yuan hands the fruit to him, and Sammo eats it in two bites. Li yells when she realizes what has happened. The Master laughs again and puts his hand on Yuan's shoulder while the boy smiles.
: Very good. You have completed your first lesson well.
: What the hell!? He cheated! You can't just pass the fruit off too that fatass!!
: I only restricted the two of you from hitting each other. I gave no other conditions, Li.
Li spits in the palm of her hand. She spins around and punches Sammo in the jaw, causing him to spit out the half-chewed fruit. She grabs a fistful of it off the street and glares at the Master.
: Ow, that hurt!
: There, I got the persimmon without hitting the shrimp. What do you think now, gramps?
: Aha, so you do not give up so easily. Very well, we shall return to the merchant tomorrow and I will buy a persimmon for each of you. Now let us continue to lunch, and I forbid anyone from striking anyone, am I heard?
All three students nod as the sun shines overhead.
Next Time: The Master Evaluates His Students